Hello- is Mr Brain at home?

Link:

Young girls wandering about town alone- pissed and wearing bugger-all might as well have a sign around their necks saying 'Rape Me'

It's the equivilent of smearing yourself with bacon fat and walking through bear country.

In a more civilised world, it would be OK to walk about in such a state, but as we know- it is NOT a nice place out there!

Can't you people LEARN from what has happened to others?

The big bad wolf is REAL and we can't have a cop on every corner looking out for you. Nor is the wolf going to get the noose, as he should...

Democracy- what's wrong with it?

What's wrong with it is that every wanker out there gets a vote.

When a well-considered vote is counteracted by Cletus Possumbrain who votes the same way his alcoholic uncle-father alway did.

Why the hell should the unproductive, the parasites and the permanantly baffled have a say in the running of the county?

Do the bloody livestock on the farm get a say in whats for dinner? Of course not, or steak is off the menu and we are all on frickin' silage!

The right to vote needs to be EARNED- by being self-supporting and a contributer. For performing or having performed some unpleasant or arduous public service- military, police, fireman, paramedic, coast guard, search & rescue. By passing a IQ test or an examination in basic civics. Hell, even having a mortgage is a better qualifer than having just being born here!

If every beneficiary gets a vote, then I should get two- in fact, by my figuring I should get four as my tax bill pays for three dole bludgers each week

Democracy is not a bad idea- when those who pick up the tab are the ones who get to have a say!

And those who only take have the right to shut the fuck up and that's about all...

A small price to pay- yeah- right!

A small price to pay- for BULLSHIT!

I'm not denying climate change- never have.

Because that is all part of the cycles of nature.

The fact that we are responsable is BULLSHIT!

If you govamint fuckers want to be useful (unlikely)-

Lets talk about the right crops for temperature rises in given regions!

Oris this just another tax-grab? (It is!)


In which case- KISS MY MEAT-EATER'S HAIRY ARSE!

Another gross post

Fat Bastard wants out of prison because he can't get help to wipe his enormous arse!

(Well- would YOU!)

The moral of the story:

Stay out of prison!

What do we do with witches?

Is that not the face of evil?

Does she not have a wart?

That's enough for me!

So what do we do with witches?

Clue- I have firewood, a stout stake, rope and fire!

SUnday School

.45 day today!

Oh look- another opportunity for Nanny to restrict something!

"Transport Minister Annette King has raised the prospect of Parliament being polled on lifting the legal driving age, saying it was probably time to see what MPs thought...

Here:

From the other side (the non knee-jerk one)

"We are looking at a variety of things but simply raising the driving age isn't one of them," Mr Duynhoven said. "Virtually all serious crashes involving a young person are when they have their mates with them or they are racing one of their mates."

Holders of restricted licences are not generally allowed to carry passengers. Mr Duynhoven said measures would seek to achieve better compliance of licence restrictions including educating parents, "because a lot of parents turn a blind eye to their kids travelling with their mates and some parents are even stupid enough to pay their kid's fine".

Age was not a panacea, he said. Fifteen-year-olds might be more likely to adhere to parental advice than older teenagers, but scientists had discovered full brain maturity did not kick in until about 25..."

Or not, as may be the case.

Especially when driving taxpayer-funded Volkwagons...

Remember these prangs?

And now for something completely different

On holiday I found a book left behind by a past holidaying person. It was the sort of book you read in a holiday bach on a wet day- not one you would normally give a second glance.

The book was 'A Narrow Street' by Elliot Paul and is a tale of life in Paris during the 1920's & 30's.

I have learnt a lot about the French from reading this. You can see how a nation is ground down into a bunch of cheese-eating surrender monkeys- by a government(s) out of control and with a vast and incompetent bureaucracy.

Sound like somewhere we all know?

Somewhere where every year 'Atlas Shrugged' sounds less like fiction...

You too, can meet the Secret Police...

"The Serious Fraud Office is to be disbanded and its functions carried out by a beefed-up organised crime unit run by police, the Government has just announced...

... The OCA will fight organised crime in New Zealand and around the Pacific.
"Organised crime has no boundaries and exploits national and international points of weakness," Ms King said.
"Trans-national networks link gangs, business people, families, political and religious movements and terrorist activities..."

Link:


So now Das Fuhrer will have the apparatus to deal with these pesky Bretheren, Business Round Table conspirators, bloggers and those what cause unrest!

Or am I just being a touch paranoid?

I wish I was...

On going nuclear...

I believe nuclear energy to be a good thing, with a couple of reservations, one which I have previously commented on.

With NZ, I believe we should support the world-wide move to nuclear power- not play the head-up-the-arse game our so-called 'leaders' are.

How we should progress towards this form of energy is to develop our existing hydro generation. Can the bloody RMA and build more dams. So a bit of forest gets drowned- lakes also have a lot of recreation potential! We are lucky to have this capacity to buy us time.

With the way technology is moving, the reactors of twenty to forty years time are going to be so much safer and efficent then even the latest of today- a quantum leap ahead of the old Chernobyl type socialist death-traps.

We may even reach the Holy Grail of Fusion in that time.

Shopping

The Warehouse now have two sections for toys.





















Regular and Unleaded!

What's going on here?

This morning I found a disturbing story on Stuff. It was about that waste of rations, the 'Children's Commissioner'

The story was about how she wanted the family of EVERY newborn child in NZ to be vetted by an agency they would nominate (the family)

If they failed to nonimate an inquisitor, zee valfare agencies vould be sent in!

I wrote up a few caustic comments on this and on posting to blogger- something crashed and all was lost.

So I set to work repeating the post- but the story had vanished from Stuff!

It's enough to start you believing in conspiracy theories!

Update:

The story is back

Here:

Looks like they just added a bit to the original posting.

This would be another glaring example of rampant PC. We all know that it is a small sub-sector of society that causes 98% of the harm.

But these PC government toadies can't point at brown beneficiaries, can they...

Nuclear power in NZ

I don't want it!


Why?

Simple- Would YOU trust a nuclear power plant run by the pubic service?

I wouldn't- and that is how it would be in the unlikely event that the powers that be went for that option. They would undoubtably pronounce that ONLY they could be trusted to run a nuclear plant- as they said about prisons.

I wouldn't trust them with a gas barbeque!

Compo for crime victims

The story:

http://www.stuff.co.nz/4187779a11.html

My opinon is that the government should pay reperations up front.

They should then extract the money from the offender in much the same way they get student loan money.

From the ofenders PLUS interest.

I get reperations drip-fed. NO interest AND NOTHING FOR THE ENDLESS TRIPS TO BANK THE CHECKS.

Time=money.

Grok that?

Another 'Yeah-Right'

"A fundamentalist church pastor had sex with two of his teenage daughters to educate them on how to be good wives, a South Australian court has heard..."

Here:

"...The man told the court the sex was not about fulfilling his desires but about teaching his daughters how to behave for their husbands when they eventually married, as dictated in scripture..."

Bullshit! He is perverted old horndog pederast that would shag whoever, whatever was available.

Uncle Pervey got 8 1/2 years, but:

"...Judge Lovell gave full credit for the man's guilty pleas, saying he was genuinely remorseful and had a good chance of rehabilitation as his wife and the church remained supportive..."

All I would give him credit for is being a sad sack of shit that needs gelding with a red hot spoon prior to a long drop on a short rope.

His wife could stand with a flogging and a jail term too!

The debase the name 'Parent'

From the WTF! files:

This is supposed to be a prison!

I could really see that working here! [sarcasm mode off]





These Scandinavian countries really deserve to be invaded and ruled by Germany!

Rioting in Dunedin?

'Students' meet LRAD

LRAD, students.

Let the pain commence.

Soft-cock tree-hugger townies!

Are getting all emo about the demise of a bunch of Starlings.

The birds are just rats with wings. Who would give a shit about a sewerful of rats getting blown up?

The chap involved is having his apple crop destroyed by these avian rodents- so be blows the crap out of them.

That's farming- you can't have a person at the bottom of each tree clanging a bell AND apples for two bucks a kilo.

In the real world...

Hoist by his own Petard!

[Cue Nelson Muntz voice Here:]

On the subject of inmates and their sordid lives, here is a case of 'Lie down with Dogs, you get up with Fleas!'

A visit to the big smoke

Today was that day of the year I visit Wellington.

As I'm paying for the great Mathom-house (if you don't know what that is- read more) I feel the occasional visit is warranted, so I take the boys to look at bugs, skeletons and other stuff boys find fascinating.

I killed Wellington and the Hutt valley off in my third book. (Earthquake in the 25th century)

Now I'm reminded why.



A culture that needs so many crappy shops deserves to die.

NZ's Laziest politician

So I'm informed- but that was by another MP.

However, I have no reason to not believe him.

"...Beyer exits mayoral race22.08.2007

BY MATTHEW STEWART

Georgina Beyer has pulled out of the Carterton mayoral race, saying it is time to move on from politics.

In June, the Times-Age reported Ms Beyer's intention to stand for the Carterton mayoralty but since then the high-profile politician has changed tack.

"It's been an angsting decision but I think it's time to let go and stand aside."

Ms Beyer, a former Labour MP for Wairarapa, began a year of political flip-flops when she resigned from Parliament in February, after having earlier said she would leave and then changing her mind.
Before putting her hand up for Carterton's top civic job she had indicated a strong desire for the Wellington mayoralty, only to rescind that desire and pull out again in May this year.

Ms Beyer said one of the factors weighing in the decision not to run in the Carterton mayoralty was the apathy of her former constituents.
After a period of personal reflection she had "sounded out" the Carterton community who were largely disinterested in her bid for a third term as the town's mayor, she said..."


Actually, I heard it was not a case of apathy. They told it to sod off!

When George was elected- it was by a protest vote agaist the others standing.

They now have a good man on the job- one who actually cares about his town and who has been known to get his hands dirty doing actual real work.

Maybe Georgie boy could try Invercargill...

Why I like government kept small and humble

Hat tip: Not PC

YES!- the short, sharp shock!

We want the Chain-Gang!

WE want prison life to be awful- so much that nobody wants to go back.

The hand-wringers have had their go and the system is FUBAR.

Let's build tent cities in Waiouru and Tekapo and get some work out of the useless scum-sucking inmates!

Sherrif Joe is a visionary!

Meatheads day out

I have talked my way out of my swimming pool minding job!

Something to do with the fact that I cost 50% more than a pool walla.

Ain't it great to be one of the few employees with an actually vaild qualification!

I still have to hand over the pools though.

So tell me how the FNG can confuse Calcium Hypochorite with Isocyanuric acid?


Do these names look familiar? I can understand mixing sodium carbonate with sodium bicarbonate. Like the chemical supplier did.

At least he remembered that the calcium hypochlorite explodes if you piss on it...

One of life's mysteries...

Why does somebody?

Watch the living channel continuously
Own dozens of cooking books
Always spend money on new kitchen gadgets
Stock the cupboards to bursting

Then not cook...

Random thoughts while driving about...

I wonder why more of the left-leaning types don't consider a stint in the Army!

It would be a wonderful egalitarian lifestyle- you get to:

Wear the same clothes
Eat the same food
Have the same medical treatment
Have compulsary exercise
Have a healthy lifestyle
Live were you are told
Have all the essentials of life supplied

Wonderful!

You live in a society where most things are either forbidden or compulsary!

It is forbidden to critisize your leaders publically!



But then why are the armed forces deviod of Labour-voting types?

That's right- this is how they believe OTHERS should live!


And soft-cocks aren't welcome !

Another purchase to explain!

A Walther P38- still in the grease- never used!

It soon will be...

From the files of the bloody obvious...

Lotto winners spend their money on- stuff you would expect!

Where is the story ?

"...The survey, of 75 past winners of between $400,000 and $15 million-plus, revealed that the first purchase for 23 per cent was the not-unexpected "nice bottle of wine" or a meal out.
For 19 per cent, the first purchase was a car.
A whopping 54 per cent followed the Kiwi dream of either buying new property or renovating an existing one and paying off debt.
Thirteen per cent paid for travel, and 7 per cent spent the largest proportion of their winnings on their family..."

We want to read about how they spent it all on nose-candy or hookers. Or on a capybara ranch or a kumquat orchard.

But they don't- they are just boring farts who pay of their houses in one go (instead of sensibly using the interest off the capital, leaving their loot untouched)

The most wildly exciting one was about somebody off to hunt buffalo. The rest brought ride-on lawnmowers.


I believe such articles are called 'filler'...

What do you friggin' expect?

Another kid makes a dumb call- caught whilst breaking the law and pays the price.

And, as usual, the wailing starts. And it's all the fault of the police for chasing him.

Hello?

We/I EXPECT the police to chase offenders and the moment you run- that's what you are presumed to be.

Do people seriously expect the cops never to chase anyone, turn on a beacon or do anything that will cause the little darlings to flee? Because as soon as that happens every offender will decamp at speed.

Then we will see some carnage!

I know there is a tendence for all parents to view their own offspring through rose-coloured glasses, but FFS!- your brat driving at 180km in a 70km zone is on a par with somebody firing a rifle through the middle of town.

Having been hit by one of these semi-guided missiles, I have zero sympathy.

What ARE they doing, over in Wellington?

The hill road is closed

I have had to close all the windows that are normally open and the TV volume has had to go up!

The house is shaking and everything not fastened down has blown away

Maybe I should have brought that generator I was looking at yesterday!

Apparently the wind is gusting to 140k- I could well believe it!

It's a warm wind too...

Yes, as a matter of fact- we DO have solutions!

For the unspeakable scum that neglect, torture and kill children. Here is my 12-step plan.

It is harsh, but crimes of this nature demand harsh penalties.



1- Cut off their money supply- THIS is what will HURT. NO benefits, WFF, food vouchers- NOTHING.

2- As they have no money, they cannot support children- they are removed.

3- Harsh jail sentences in real jails- with hard labour! It may deter some and the other deserve it. This is not rehab- this is PUNISHMENT.

4- No benefits for further children born to those on benefits.

5- Long-term beneficiaries to be randomly drug tested. We do not pay these people to get stoned, nor is this helping to get a job.

6- If children are removed from working parents, they must pay maintenance.

7- Benefits are docked for persistant truancy.

8- Parenting, budgeting, home economics and other such courses must be passed to regain custody of children that have been removed- if returning them is considered an option. Drug testing is mandatory.

9- Adoption laws must be revised to protect children from parents deemed unfit. They can never use the legal system to regain custody.

10- Offenders to be 'Named and shamed'

11- offenders details to be available on a public database.

12- The death penalty should be available for the more extreme cases.

A national Bird?

Keas scavenging in the Fox Glacier dump.

Clean & green- yeah- right...

You don't always get what you want

I wanted the Hasst's Eagle for the national bird.



I have settled for a Famous Grouse.

Bugger the Kiwi!

A far better symbol- the Haast's Eagle

One mean SOB man-eating bird!

Collectivist guilt-trip bullshit!

'Three minute silence' against child abuse

People are being asked to stop what they are doing and stay silent for three minutes on Wednesday in a nationwide stand against child abuse."

The three short minutes is an opportunity for each person to reflect on what each one of us can do to be part of the solution to our unacceptable rate of child abuse."

http://www.stuff.co.nz/4154918a11.html



Collectivist twaddle. I have done my best to be a good father and I believe I'm doing a pretty good job of it. I- like so many others, work hard to provide for a family. Why would I want to treat them badly?

I have NOTHING to be guilty about! The only children I am responsible for are my own.


I have been reflecting on it for years. This is not a new issue. Why do people now need to reflect on in now?

Have they had their heads firmly stuck up orifice posterior all their lives? I think not!

The guilty need public shaming and punishment. Many of them need hanging- also in public.

Public shaming- for they have no shame already- should be by way of flogging and stocks. The crime should be branded/tattooed onto their foreheads. They should be rendered incapable of reproduction and forbidden from ever recieving a benefit of any kind.

A license to breed isn't such a bad idea. Either PROVE you are fit or forfeit all rights to ANY form of taxpayer assistance.

A sordid tale

Here:

The loving extended family...


Bring back the Workhouse!

Tip of the Iceberg

It appears (unsuprisingly) that only a few stories of cruelty to children find their way to the media.

Auckland story

Christchurch story

I know how the front-line hospital staff must feel- having worked in the deviant's wing. You would be wanting to drop a little potassium in their beer...

A profile is given:

"...The typical profile of a woman whose child was taken from her at birth was that she had several other children, commonly had a drug or alcohol addiction, an abusive partner and a long-term relationship with CYF..."


But somehow I don't think they are telling us the whole story here!

Ten bucks to a knob of goatshit that they are on some kind of a benefit 95% of the time.

And the govt agencies have ethnicity on every form they have. But this information is not mentioned...

Now it's Murder

It's no longer child abuse- it's MURDER

Only the harshest penalties can suffice for this most foul act of murder.

MMMMM- Cow- MMMMMMM

Lips that touch dead critters shall never...

WHO WANTS THEM!

I never met a Vegan that wasn't a townie space-cadet.

You think I'm giving up this mouth-watering manuka smoke-cooked milk-fed veal? No. Not going to happen.

And it's that time of year again when another calf will be slaughtered and roasted on my Weber!

Prison holiday camps

Over at Kiwiblog, there has been some discussion on the comfort level of prisons.

One commenter- who may or may not be an ex-inmate- denies emphatically that they are not holiday camps.

He is both right and wrong.

Not all prison units are the same. Some are bloody awful- some are better than holiday camps I have stayed in. I'm talking tennis courts- yes tennis courts!- libraries, basketball courts and of course- all essential services supplied.

To you or me, even a stay in the better class of prison unit would be unpleasant. To many inmates it is not. This is a function of how your life on the outside is.

Many of the inmates are not evil predators. They are just terminally useless idlers who find prison a refuge from the rigours of life. An escape from the need to pay for ones expenses- the need to organise accommodation, power, transport, entertainment, heating- all of those sort of details.

Commit a crime or six and your needs are effortlessly met. You don't have to deal with WINZ, IRD, food banks or the SKY installer.

Drugs are still readily available- just more expensive.

There is no need to think- if you need to be somewhere- the nice man in green will lead you by the hand.

No worries about finding the money for the doc or the chemist- all you medical expenses are met! You self- inflicted diseases are treated and it doesn't cost anybody any money- the government pays!

Of course they moan about life inside- but they moan about life on the outside too.

If you want to met whiney-assed crybabies- prison is the place to do so. All the inmates do is whinge about their 'rights'.

I don't think the current prison model is the place for these types.

They need the Workhouse!

Dumbass ideas

TV ads will help stop child abuse!

Yeah- just like the 'no smacking' bill has done.

Shall we see a new set of unit standards for the terminal maladjusted?

1001- Kids are not crash-test dummies
1002- Punching bags don't have to be your bitch
1003- Food- something YOU can make at home
1004- P is not a food
1005- Birth control- it's a wonderful idea.


Let me spell it out for the OTHER terminally maladjusted sector of society - the Left.

These subhumans are not like us. They don't like us. They don't listen to us. They have zero respect for us.

WE are there to pick up the tab for their FUBAR lifestyles. They laugh at us- they spit on us.

They will attack those who report them- the whole filthy tribes will turn against anyone who reports their crimes. They don't give a shit in general.

They should be cast out of society. Their offspring would be better off in orphanages.

I have posted in the past regarding the sort of institution thse leeches should be contained within.

Get a friggin' grip assholes!

"A video depicting gingerbread men doing the haka has upset some members of the North Shore Maori community.

Bakery Industry Association of New Zealand designed the video to promote the Bakery of the Year Awards.

But some people feel the video borders on being culturally insensitive..."

More:

FFS- how about focusing on your own stomping on their kids! Lay down the bloody challange to them instead of whining like a bitch over a bunch of dancing gingerbread men!

This is absolutely pathetic and quite typical of why you are looked down on. Like those in politics, the REAL issues are brushed over and the focus is on stupid little points like prancing confectionary.

Stomping babies is something all cultures find offensive. We don't really give a damn about the antics of animated biscuits...

Cost-cutting

Prisoners will each cost the taxpayer more than $92,000 this year, 63 per cent more than they did in 2001.

Link

Time for some cost -cutting.

The name of the game is 'Decimation'

Each inmate gets on 'Ticket' in a draw, per year of their sentence. These are drawn until 10% of the prison population has been selected.

They all get a trip to meet Jack Ketch.

Repeat annually.

Simple, really

More on Crime & Punishment

There is a line used in Corrections that: "people are sent to prison as a punishment- not to be further punished"

What a lot of donkeybollocks!

Of course there are- and some more than others!

I'm a great believer of making the punishment fit the crime. Cruel and unusual crimes require cruel and unusual punishments.

Human refuse that would put a 3-year old in a tumble drier deserve a tumble in an industrial concrete mixer. That sort of thing.

The Movie "The Running man" had another great idea, where crims were to take part on a particularly nasty 'Reality TV' show. The TAB could buy the betting right as to who gets it, when and how! Pitched battles between rival gangs, using traditional weaponry are another possibility!

I'm in favour of a sort of reverse 'Crocodile Hunter' where the crocs are doing the catching!

'arry potter?

Yes- my absense has been due to taking two nights to read Harry Potter VII

It's a damn good book-taken in the correct context that it is a kids book!

The critics are blowing smoke out of their misused arses, the only opinions that count are those of the purchasers.

I even give credit to those who write crap I despise- like mills & boone.

The only votes that count are dollars over the counter.

If you think that your book has done well and you have take a taxpayer-funded handout- you rwork is less than worthless.

I've found boiling mud- can I take it home?

A plain-speaking man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyUX6wV1lBQ

Thinking hard

About our future in NZ

The Iron mines of OZ are looking good right now.

I'm not bad on an excavator and better than most on a loader.

For that alone i can earn more than twice what i make here as a qualified tradesman.


If it were just me I would have already gone...

3-gun Nz style

3 gun- the NZ way!

How Bizzare!

"I remember everything!
I remember every little thing as if it happened only yesterday
I was barely seventeen, and I once killed a boy with a Fender guitar
I don't remember if it was a telecaster or a stradacaster
But I do remember that it had a heart of chrome and a voice like a horny angel
I don't remember if it was a telecaster or a stratacaster..."

Well, someboby listened to Jim once to often- Here!

There's nowt as strange as folk!

A culture of Nannying

I heard this story- it was impossible not to.

Only because journos are such lazy sods and only take stories handed to them, mind.

A bunch of adults stay out late and get 'fined'

Feckin' ridiculous!

It's probably a contract issue- if so, it's worrying trend. I could see this curfew clause speading throughout all contracts. Bugger me- that's one Herr Helen would love to see- and never dare to initiate herself!

And please tell me the 'Pony Club' is a brothel. Otherwise it just sounds too gay for an AB drinking spot!

Bloody callouts!

Drive 20 km, push two reset buttons, drive 20 km back-collect $82.50

Next!

What planet do lefties come from?

I think I found one!

It's for the age group, anyhow!

BULLSHIT!

No easy answer to rail crossings, says Ontrack
Link:

There is, actually.

LOOK before you cross the friggin things!

Fixing Auckland

Too Hard- but there is another option below...

Feckin' Cold!

I have been infected with a very unpleasant cold and find myself in a particularly foul mood.

It's probably a good idea to keep me away from sharp things or nuclear weapons. Ever heard of Mutually Assured Destruction?



Now I have to go and cough up more green slime...

Exactly when did you turn into Froot Loops?

Hat Tip to Crusader Rabbit and The Sniper

Police in Iran are reported to have taken 14 squirrels into custody - because they are suspected of spying.The rodents were found near the Iranian border allegedly equipped with eavesdropping devices.

The reports have come from the official Islamic Republic News Agency (IRNA).

When asked about the confiscation of the spy squirrels, the national police chief said: "I have heard about it, but I do not have precise information."

The IRNA said that the squirrels were kitted out by foreign intelligence services - but they were captured two weeks ago by police officers.

Musings from a lakeside cafe

It's not a new idea- I have seen it on a few science-fiction movies, but as I sat looking out at Lake Rotorua I wondered why nobody is putting out DVD recordings of such scenes.

With the cost of large screen LCD and plasma screens falling, I could see these replacing picture windows- especially in smaller flats witha view of- more small flats.

A short loop with a bit of background movement- a boat or critters in the distance.

By day Rotorua, the Serangeti, the Antarctic- at night the skyline of Manhatten, an erupting volcano- the possibilities are endless.

Cheap to make, potentially large volumes sales- I can't imagine why somebody isn't doing this!

Or are they...

Road warning signs

They are rather useful, especially when conditions are bad.

Yesterday, it seemed that 'Slippery when Icy' was beyond the comprehension of many drivers.

Perhaps they needed more information- such as 'the pretty white stuff next to the road means the road may well be ICY'

Plus 'Slippery when icy means slow the hell down'. I passed five cars off the side of the road, showing that some don't pay attention to these points.

I got passed by quite a few, unhappy that I was travelling at a reduced speed.

Tough shit to you! Feel free to kiss my undamaged arse.

Nobody knows who farted

...in Rotorua.

Certainly not anywhere I was- it never got quiet enough to hear the offender. But I came to appreciate the sulphur. It overpowers the noxious smell children make! (Mostly!)

Holiday and children should never be used in the same sentence. Not once did I get to do anything exciting in a hot pool, nor did I get through the amount of liquid refreshment that one should- were one REALLY holidaying!

Mornings would start at 0500, as the child storage facility was insecure and hotel management take a dim view on DIY locksmithing. There was no cartoon network either, but that only appealed to one of the children, in any case.

Any outings would usually appeal to one but not the other child. This would end in howling, followed by more howling, as I discreetly ignored the Child Thrashing Act 2007 and covertly applied torsion to an earlobe.

The one activity that everyone enjoyed was swimming/soaking, so a daily pilgrimage to a hot pool was made.

All the Rotorua ones fell short, being overpriced, overchlorinated or overcrowded- but I found a delightful pool at Waikite (Link) (37km away) that was untreated mineral water, had a passable urine/water ratio, served beer and was $25 per family.

The DUCK tour was also a crowd-pleaser at $116 for the family. The appeal of touring around in a WII amphibious vehicle was too much for me to resist and a soft-top truck with a big diesel engine drowns out the demands of children most effectively!

For vittles, I had heard the tongue of good report spoken in favour of The Pig and Whistle. They were right!

For serious carnivores- the Barbe ques Ribs ($17.50) came as they should- as many as can be heaped on a plate and without carbohydrate or foliage clutter. Stella on tap is another drawcard I find hard to resist.

The kids meals were about the size of average adult pub meals- take a hint and just buy them the pigtail chips.

Bugger the flax pinnies and stick-waving- an attraction that also found favour with me, and to a lesser degree the kids ,was the Caterpillar Experience ($40). I would have spend all day in that shed and will have to go back without the ball & chain. Who could be possibly bored in a shed full of bulldozers? (Apart from those with a testosterone deficiency)

At first I thought the town to be expensive, but I had been comparing wildlife parks and pools with those run by councils and funded by the poor bloody ratepayers. What would the TRUE cost of going to Wellington Zoo or Te Papa be, if one paid the true cost?

And would anyone bother to go to the second!

Then I went into Retail Hell (Pak & Save) and found that the beer was cheaper there than here!

(To be continued...)

On 'Holiday'

I will be away for a week. I'm taking the wife & kids on their first holiday away.

First one for the boys, that is!

After I get a few hours sleep, we are off to Rotorua to do tourist stuff for a week.

It's not MY idea of a holiday, but it's what they want.

My idea of a holiday involves a book or two, a crate of gin and an isolated spot where there are NO OTHER PEOPLE.

Greg Carvell off the hook!

That should be the end of that!

Apart from all the money and anguish- defending what they should have been praised for!


How many more self-defense cases do we need to be discharged before the crown law office (or whatever those political toadies are called) stops persecuting the innocent?

This one won't be the last.

Supporting a worthy cause

So many fun things to buy, so little money!

SAI have some great stuff. Get it before some hand-wringing soft-cock has it banned!

This item above seems to be quite effective in fending of nutters with knives. Not as well as a .45 or a taser, but one works with what one can get!

Just the thing for the wife to put in her handbag!

Here's a thought!

Another looney who wants somebody else to top them.

If you can't do the bloody job yorself- don't expect some other poor sod to do it for you- and that means driving into trucks & trains. Take a bloody overdose or go swimming with a sack of bricks!

Anyhoo- I was thinking about The Carvells and what they have been out through. All that grief could have been avoided if they were allowed to stock another line in merchandise.

Tasers!

Any fucktard seeking an assisted suicide could get some electron therapy instead- without a wait for the police. Time in which somebody could have died in.

Tasers and pepper spray are a great tools for the police.

They are for the rest of us too.

IT IS A DISGRACE THAT LAW ABIDING CITIZENS ARE FORBIDDEN THESE TOOLS!

The Sunday Funny

Pooh Goes Apeshit

Everything was rather quiet in the hundred acre wood. The trees whispered to each other as the wind rustled their leaves. Under a large oak tree, there lived Pooh bear. From inside Pooh's house, there came a steady bang...bang... bang!, that was making his honey jars rattle on the sideboard. The light came through the window, and in the evening sun Pooh raised the axe once more and brought it down on the tattered remains of Christopher Robin.
"Why...won't... he...fit..." puffed Pooh to himself as the axe came down once more.

Read the rest here.

Hat Tip: KOTGD

What one now!

Cover artwork

The top one, I think!

Some corrections regarding things told to children...

I have been told that I am shamelessly spreading misinformation and need to publish some corrrections.

Children may not be sold
Children may not be given away
Children may not be used for medical experiments
Children may not be apprenticed to chimney sweeps
Children may not be made into saveloys
Children will not go through the floor when jumping from the couch
There are no crocodiles under the house
The rabbit does not eat steak, cats, dogs or boys
Dad's ute does not transform into a giant battle robot
Dad's 6mm Remington is only CALLED a 'Poodle-shooter'
Noodles are not made from minced poodles
Ears are not 'Boy Handles'
'Oliver Twist' is not essential reading for five year-olds
Dad was not 'thrown out of the SS for cruelty'
Nor was your mother
The Weber is not for roasting small children
Grandma's straw broom is not direct evidence of witchcraft
You cannot physically fit down the drain of the bath
Mr Bean is not related to your grandfather
Nobody has ever been actually murdered in a dental clinic
The Warehouse does not employ child-catchers
The Warehouse is not employment for 'special needs' people
Ronald McDonald does not lure children into a giant mincing machine
Nor is he the illegitimate son of Satan
MP3 players do not suck your brains out and steal your soul
Mum is not really a vampire, she just doesn't like garlic
Sweets are not 'Kiddie Ampthetamines'
Dad never took part in the Spanish Inquisition, the Valentines Day Massacre, any of the World Wars, the Alamo, the Clone Wars or any event involving aliens, nor does he personally know or is related Dr Evil, despite any physical similarities.

One of those ideas that passes by...

Given the mediawankfest over police IQ- how about one for politicians, along with needing a psych up-check before they are allowed to take office?

It makes sense when you think about it. I mean- it's all about public safety and please think about the poor children!

I did like the idea in one of Terry Pratchat's books- where all politicans were presumed guilty, so they were locked up as soon as they were elected- saved time!

Nice to be some!

New Zealands most pampered union gets another lollypop

That equates to a 2% pay increase- as all companies who have just been lumbered with the extra week's annual leave well know.

Of course that doesn't matter- the great taxpayer cash-cow will deliver!

I wish I could charge for the minimum hour a day I spend working with my boys and extending the homework they get! (no- not really!- that's just what parents SHOULD do!)

This is on top of a sick leave plan that would make a Scandinavian workers paradise blush.

Every week one of these taxpayer funded she-mountains is off on the bludge!

Suck it up, shithead

This arsehole think he is getting a raw deal. He thinks he is being clever by saying his mother thinks his sentence is too harsh.

News flash!

There are one hell of a lot of us out here that DON'T.

Many think there should be an additional '1' on the front of your sentence.

I personally think it should be a much shorter sentence.

Just long enough to get the gallows erected!

The vicims family offered some excellent advice:

"...Members of Ashley's family yelled "go hang yourself George" as he was escorted from court by security guards..."

Criminals are seldom self-starters, so I believe the least we can do is to put the rope around his neck and arrange for a 2 meter drop!

Power companies & the privacy Act

Here is a story on this subject:

Two weeks ago I called up:

'The power is out at XXXXXX water plant'

"what is your account number"

"Don't have that, I'm the contractor running the plant"

"We can't help you without the account #"

" 5000 people are about to run out of water in one hour- you are saying ypu won't help?"

"We cAn't help without the account number"

" OK, thanks for nothing"

Go for a drive- find linesman- problem sorted in ten minutes...

I'm not totally blaming the power company- the dumbass council had NO backup plan in case of power failure for a supposedly essential service....

Here are two I may have a go at making

You wont see this in old copies of 'Good Housekeeping'

Over on KOTGD, there is a link to another site with amusing observations on pictures from a 60's copy of 'Good Houskeeping'

The 'Crusty Tuna Surprise' reminded me of this one!

My one go at knife-making

I made this one when I was 19- its filed from a RL bedford truck spring, has a brass guard and the mahogony handle is secured by epoxy and two brass pins.

The handle looks too chunky, although it fits my hand well (them being big and chunky too!)

The .45 auto round gives an idea of the size.

Bugger off bloody bizzybodies

What is it with those who just have to encroach on a group that don't want them?

Why would you want to join a club were you knew you weren't particularly wanted?

Its not like this is the only bowls club in the Wellington region!

These bloody irritating women love to trot out the Human Rights Act, but let some bloke try to get into a women-only gym, its a different story...

Get back to the kitchen and bake some pie!

Nanny state medicating us 'for our own good'

Follic acid in bread- story here

Now I have an idea- why not take the damned stuff IF you are pregnant? - and leave the rest of us out of it!

While I'm at it- try planning your friggin pregnancy!

What next- prozac in our beer?- so we don't care what nanny does to us?

It would be for our own good, after all- you will be a lot happier!

That's what they told the tomcat too...

On a slow boat to Mars

I could nominate a few people for this experiment!

Mainly so I could run a book on how long it took the other guinea pigs to throw them out the airlock. Unfortunatly, there will no vaccuum outside- which is not to say that they wouldn't have been strangled or bludgeoned first!

In particular the local council kumquat I just spoke to on the phone...

From the loony-tunes left

Votes for sixteen year olds.

[insert Tui Ad here]

What is this insanity?

Simple- a vote-grab. As with the lowering to 18. Why- because most inexperienced and naive youngsters vote liarbour or green. As we well know, this is the way student types lean at that age.

The others at that age are doing what they should be doing- getting drunk and trying to get laid.

I love the inconsistancy here- brain-dead bradford is one minute saying the are to stupid to have a choice of food at school and the next minute saying they should be able to vote.,

My views on the franchise are that it should only be given to adults over 21 who own property (or are paying THEIR OWN mortgage) and who are not on welfare or imprisoned.

Without some sort of criteria for eligability other than a pulse, we wind up with a 'bread & circuses' mentality.

As is plain for all rational persons to see!

They just don't friggin' get it!

Just reading the local paper and saw an article on sombody bemoaning the amount of her rates.

Fair enough. They are high for whaty you get over here.

Then she goes on about work that should be done, such as upgrading the ancient swimming pool by enclosing and heating it. In a town of less than 800 ratepayers- how does Mrs Meathead think THAT will impact on her rates?

Lower rates AND more & better services?

I would like to see that one delivered!

Fixing the frickin' kitchen door

Replace mechanism with the one swiped from a wardrobe door.

One year later, this too falls apart.

Take two months to remember to buy the new handles set.

Remove screws cemented in place by multiple coats of paint.

Discover that the inside of the new set is totally incompatable with the old hole in ther door.

Search garage for the door hole drill set last used six years ago.

Start cutting new hole.

Take flat drill batteries back to garage to charge them.

Next day- drill holes, search garage for builders bog to fill old hole.

Back to Mitre 10 for builders bog...

Update:

File & sand back

Search garage for chinglish instructions and the critical template

Drill holes

Find spare battery for drill

File bits out to make the barrel actually fit in the hole

Look for 1" chisel

Search for oilstone- and oil

Sharpen chisel

bandage finger

Discover eyesight has deteriorated since the last time I did this job

Fit lock

Find plastic wood and patch up

Sweep up dust & shavings

Door now opens and closes!

Next time consider open-plan living...

I can see my house from up here!

I finally have a 21st century computer and can now use all sorts of fun things -like Google Earth

Finally, video actually works!

And all weekend without a crash!

I find it hard to believe that there are still houshold that don't have a PC of some description, but then there are those that don't have books either...

Update:

Fill holes with builders blog- stink house out

One- no two- of life's observations

You know there has been a family birthday when on the day after, you go to the supermarket and all of the cheap read wine (non-cask!) has been sold out.


Then there is another:

Your wife watches you downloading to your MP3 player then as soon as you have the damned things in your ear, starts yakking to you- for the first time that day!

Here endth the lesson...

TANSTAFFL

Upgrade night

Almost done.

This gets easier every time I do it.

As usual, the hair-pulling stuff was getting all the old files off the old system- which wouldn't see the new 1G memory stick...

Normal service will be retored tommorrow.

Honour- these pigs have none!

This is just plain premeditated MURDER. Call it an 'honour killing', but its the same thing!

The sort of murder that gets an appointment with Jack Ketch- in parts of the world that still have their priorities right!

This is one good reason that these swine have no place here in NZ! You don't try to friggin' integrate them- you deport them.

Outside of the box

The aproach to moving prison inmates is all wrong.

Don't bloody move them so damned often!

Move the courtrooms- they should become part of the prison complex, as should the police lockups be, where there is a convienient prison!

Selling Wellington's court facilities would easily raise the money to build anew at Rimutaka, for example.

There- that wasn't so hard really!

As for their bloody 'Human Rights'- screw them- all rights suspended when the judge says 'Guilty'

As for this 'They are sent to prison as punishment, not to be punished'-Feckin' bollocks. Some trite phrase one of these soft-cock reformers has vomited and is now taken as of being handed down from the mountain on a stone tablet!

Most of these crap-heads (about 90%) don't get half the kicking round they deserve!

And you would get a lot more into a compactor truck than a Ford Transit!

Prisoner restraint- a hemp rope around the neck!

How sad- cry me a friggin' river!

After many years of being bounced around in the back of an RL Bedford, I have little sympathy to their plight. Hows many troops have died being transported compared to crims?

They should be manacled for their own protection, but more so for the protection of A- the public and B- Corrections staff.

The driver & escorts should have shotguns and sidearms- even soft-cock scandinavian crim-huggers do that!

The waist restraints should be the electrical types and they should be hobbled.

If toilet breaks are a problem (we ALWAYS warned then to go first!) then adult sized nappies are available (That s diapers to my American friends!)

Deadbeats and Electricity payments

What is the fuss about people deadbeating. The soultion is simple and yet again, looks to the past.

Electricity meters that require money up front.

About 15 years agao in Christchurch, I had the option of a $200 bond for power or have a prepay meter put in.

You got a card and took it into the MED and got it charged up with a nominate damount of money. This was then swiped through the reader and credited to you. You could see how much credit you had on the display and when the unit estimated that you were down to three days power at the current rate of use- it started beeping.

If you had bad credit, one of these was compulsary.

A carrot was that as you prepaid, you got a 10% discount on your power!

When I moved to Wellington, there was no carrot nor was there a large bond- so I did not bother.

I don't know if these are still around, but they seem the ideal solution to power deadbeats.

Try THIS Hilton!

If you can't do the time, don't do the crime!

Sympathy- its in the dictionary between 'shit' and 'syphilis'

And it did come to pass...

Many moons ago (1989) I did predict that music would come upon a plug-in RAM chip and the unbelievers did gnash their teeth and say that I was full of it!

And the MP3 player did come forth and I did say 'that's bloody close enough' and bade the unbelivers to do an unspeakable act.

And the cellular telephone did appear and I sayth that one day they would be in every hand and be pay as you speak and not on a plan.

And the unbelivers did roll about in a palsy and sayth that I knew not what I spoke off.

And the Prepaid did issue forth and humble the worshipers of GOATSEE.

Then the video phone was sent amongst us and the shallow ones did say 'This will fly like a lead zeppelin' and I said 'Bollocks- I can think of five applications off the top of my head'

And again I did smite the evil ones with the TRUTH

And they did say that 'nobody likes a smart-arse'

And they did utter that I should get what god did to the sodomites.

And I did state that it could not be worse than what the Sodomites did to each other. And bade them return to their Betamax and Teletext machines.

Here endth the lesson...

Castlepoint Lighthouse

Until I get my new computer next week, I have to pinch other peoples images off the net!

I DID take a photo of this last weekend, but it didn't come out quite as nicely as this one of the Castlepoint Lighthouse. The pointy rock in the background is called castle rock and is far bigger than it looks.

One of these little inconsistancies

Remember the media circus over a bunch of cops watching a porno movie 25 years ago?

How about howls for the investigation of the culture of the profession of this deviant?

If you can demonize one profession, why not this one? Its not like this is the first of their kind up on sex charges. Thee would be a lot more than the police have ever had.

Especially with children...

Buggery Bloody Buggery Bollocks!- a momentary flash of sanity in NZ!

Greg Carvel's ordeal is finally over here:

And about bloody time! I have a sneeking suspicion that the police didn't want to charge him, but it was ordered by those who say they do not influence police policy (yeah, right!)

He SHOULD have gotten a gong for preventing a dangerous looney from getting access to firearms!

He SHOULD have been supported as a victim of a serious crime.

He SHOULD be compensated for this frivolous/malicious prosecution.

I'm sure Greg won't be holding his breath waiting for the above.

My thanks to all those good people who supported him with words, thoughts and money!

What is coming out of cases like this is that, while the police say firearms must not be used for self-defense, the courts are not backing this stance.

The courts are doing things right here (for once!)- we DO have a right to self-defense. The same one our police have and use.

The precident is well-established. Now we need to move to a point where these VICTIMS of crime are not financially crippled defending themselves for what is their right in law.

To preserve their lives and property by the best means available.

Where did the 'Alleged' go?

Every time a crim is caught red-handed, the media are very careful to say 'the alleged axe murderer'

It's always 'the alleged' until after the trial.

Except:

When it's about disconnecting electricity!

The same 'leaders' (who couln't lead hungry wolves to meat) are all too quick to point out that we must not judge before the jury does, and takes the public to task for' having a lynch-mob mentality'

Except this time.

Arseholes one & all!

Update:

Insolent Prick doesnt post often, but when he does- it's worth the read.

An excellent summation of this media frenzy here

'Twas a cold & stormy night...

Ain't it fun working out in 120k winds, in the dark!

Especially when the trees start losing branches, pine cones, etc...

Finally got the plant restarted after a power plant with much fun & games, so the water continues to flow.

Now it's food, shower & bed.

Crystal ball Gazing

Todays prediction:

Actors are a species on the verge of extinction. My guess is that the days of the high paid actor will be all over in 10-15 years.

A comet in the form of CGI is entering the atmosphere of their world now.

There will still be work for 'actors' who do movements for the cgi 'skin', but before long the software will do all that too. Same deal for voice-overs.

All the friggin' primadonnas will be back to doing panto's!

And the stage is a far harsher mistress than the screen.


Best of all, maybe they will stop getting actors who's opinions are considered worth a shit!

I SHOULD have known better..

I did something dumb today.

I brought a new PC from DICK Smiths!

It's already been returned. POS would lock up after 10 minutes running.

By the time I had realised that it was the PC and not the internet- which is running at dial-up speeds today, the wife had stripped the software out of the old PC and installed it in the boy's room.

So I'm slowly tapping this out on my laptop- without a friggin mouse!

On the way back from getting a refund, I saw some of the worst driving I have ever seen on our roads. One moron in a Karori tractor travelling at 70k followed by a rusted out shitbox driven by the hillbillies from Deliverance made a totally effective rolling roadblock. So of course we had those who just HAD to get past- I saw two cars in the opposite lane forced into the shoulder and had the brakes on hard a couple of times.

I'm staying home with a bottle of brandy and will not leave for the rest of the weekend!

The turn of a friendly card

Ever have one of those moments when a whim causes you to avoid what could have been a very sticky situation?

I had one today. Out for a drive in our new car, I decided to go to Castlepoint instead of Riversdale. A black dorkmobile boy racer car zoomed past us at speed and I gave them the usual friendly wave and the 'crash & burn' curse. Just after that, at about 1230 we passed the Riversdale turnoff.

After a walk up to the lighthouse and around the beach, we returned and on the way, saw a police car stopped at the turnoff blocking the road, lights flashing.

When I got home, I saw on the Yahoo News that there was a fatality crash near Riversdale- one dead, five injured and five cars involved.

At about 1230...

A new Blog

Over here:

A collection of photos taken in places most NZ'rs never venture- just off the main roads!

Some will be from places where the public are not allowed to venture. Don't bother asking for the key to the gates!