Friday, February 29, 2008

I ain't dead!

It was somebody else (about 150 meters away) that pushed the 'disconnect' button. Or more correctly- trigger.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Finding the unexpected

Practical information- from a government agency!

I'm looking at a cookbook called 'The Great little Cookbook'- this is a collaboration by WINZ and a Health board.

I have always advocated the Edmonds Cookbook for those domestically challenged and broke- this book takes it further, with info on how to budget, plan shopping lists and menus as well as how to cook basic foods (non-packaged or pre-prepared stuff)

Well done- information both practical and useful.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Sunday, February 24, 2008

What's the difference?

Some would have you believe there is no real difference between Nation and Labour.

There is- it's the difference between attacked by sand flies or vampire bats.

(or possibly the difference between being drag-hanged or beheaded.)

The choice is easy, but that doesn't mean you particularly like either option!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Home Alone

It's one of those rare nights where I'm the only one at home, as everyone has buggered off camping.

I'm on-call so can't leave the area.

Camping makes less and less sense these days. When I lived in a crappy flat, camping was a reasonable summer option.

Now that I have a much more comfortable house, with three fridges, air conditioning, dishwasher and all the other comforts of modern living- I can't see the appeal in sleeping in a tent!

No big comfy chairs, no warm towels and having to share showers and dunny with commoners! No doors to keep the kids out!

Forget it!

It would be so much nicer if I could actually have a drink of some kind, but the industrial strength antibiotics I'm on rule that out! Apparently this medication has the same effect as Disulfuram and I ain't going to go there!

But its working, so another week without drink is a small price to pay!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Ninnies, Nannies and Numptys

Banging on about carbon friggin' footprints on TV!

The one where a sanctimonious old slapper takes families for task for daring to consume stuff particularly pisses me off. The other day she was wanking on about the evils of heated towel rails and heated mirrors. Well- I happen to like a warm, dry towel in a warm dry bathroom and don't give a monkey's if it DOES use $100 worth of electricity a YEAR.

I wonder what the inside of HER house is like? No doubt full of all the modern conveniences.

I bet she is like the local council piece of vileness that goes about nitpicking or inventing problems will all the contractors work. Her own property looks like something out of Steptoe & Son!

All these little niceties are what makes life that much easier and enjoyable. As a kid, I lived the hair-shirt lifestyle with minimal heating, damp all winter and a bath every week whether or not you needed it- like most of NZ in the sixties. I sure as hell ain't going back to one two-bar heater for a whole house!

I'm glad nobody speaks of carbon footprints in the real world. They might just receive one of my footprints and like my carbon one- it is a big one!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

meanwhile- back in the world of the consequence-free enviroment...

Judith Collins MP
National Party Welfare Spokeswoman

19 February 2008

WINZ pays for drunk-drivers to get cars back

Social Development Minister Ruth Dyson needs to explain why she is allowing Work and Income to pay for beneficiaries who have been caught drunk-driving and who have committed other driving offences to have their vehicles handed back to them, says National's Welfare spokeswoman, Judith Collins.

"This practice is rife and has been confirmed by towing companies up and down the country.

"It is outrageous that taxpayer money is being used to basically subvert a legal process to allow people who have committed driving offences to basically get off scott-free.

"Ruth Dyson, when alerted to the fact this was going on last year, told Parliament that before Work and Income would consider whether to pay a beneficiary's parking fine or car towage fees, it would consider whether the applicant had contributed to their situation.

"She further told Parliament that it would be 'unusual for assistance of this type to be provided'.

"We now know that rather than being 'unusual', it is very common for Work and Income to direct-credit tow truck firms to pay outstanding towage and storage costs for beneficiaries whose cars have been impounded because they've been caught drunk-driving or have had their licences stripped from them for other driving offences.

"Rather than considering who is at fault in this situation, Work and Income is paying out taxpayer money to enable people who have unregistered and unsafe cars to get those vehicles back.

"Towing companies are fed up and say they're going public because most New Zealanders would share their alarm.

"Unfortunately, the Minister continues to show how out of touch she is with the pulse of the nation, preferring to turn a blind eye to this unacceptable practice."

Hat tip: The Briefing Room

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Whats actually happening here...

I have been getting a few emails wondering what I'm up to - I just caught up with the hotmail box that I hadn't visited for about a month.

On 26th December I came down with persistant diarrhea that refuses to go away. This has the local doctors baffled and I am impatiently awaiting a specialist's appointment next week.

This has hit me pretty hard, as my blood sugar has gone high- previously I was diet-controlled. I have gotten dehydrated quite badly a couple of times (as in falling down or flaking out for a couple of hours) and have lost about 25kg so far.

I'm still working as there aren't a whole lot of other options for me. I just have to carry a couple of changes of clothes with me. Shitting your pants 3 times a day and fouling the bed at night on a regular basis does seem to induce a certain lowness of spirits...

By playing around with diet, I have gotten the diarrhea minimized (mostly- now down to about 5BM's a day instead of 20+) by going gluten-free, eating very little meat and cutting out all caffeine, alcohol and diet soft drinks- as well as cutting back on all dairy, fruits and sugar! I'm not a fun person to take out for a meal, but my blood sugar is now normal and I don't have to sleep on a waterproof babies blanket and a towel now!

As a result of all of this, I'm absolutely knackered and spend much of my time off sleeping.

I have had worse and no doubt will be back to 'normal' one of these days. On the plus side- I haven't been this size for near 20 years!

Friday, February 15, 2008

A day late, but...

I was going to send this, but wussed out and opted for chocolates and fizzy wine.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Affordable Housing- for whom?

Affordable Housing- read highly subsidized by (guess who) housing!

I can see it now- first a cheap and easy design will be found.

The greenies won't like them- so:

Eco-friendly building materials
Super insulation
Solar water heating
low energy appliances
double glazing
heat pumps
Etc, etc.

Iwi will get a say and decide they are to small to accommodate all the cuzzies at once. They will have to be bigger.

The mother hen brigade will demand monitored smoke alarms, sprinkler systems, shatter-proof glass, fire escapes, wheelchair access, medical alert systems, childproof fencing and flameproof curtains.

Then a new department of political officers will need to be hired, to monitor the evil capitalist contractors who will do the actual work.

See if they don't!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Stick to caravan parks.

"Three trampers have reached safety after walking out of the Arthurs Pass National Park and have lashed authorities who refused a helicopter access to the park to rescue them..."

Go better prepared, you pussies. You can't rely on a chopper there as the weather can be extreme. That's why you should be carrying extra rations. So you can wait it out when the weather turns to crap- as it does.

Everyone expects to phone up and be 'rescued' these days.

Wasn't Barkers Hut up to the expected 4-star standard? Back in the 80's it was a fetid little hovel, but a welcome one when the wind and snow was doing it's thing.

Trampers ain't what they used to be!

Monday, February 11, 2008


The time has come- the Walrus said
To talk of flaming rings
of hemorrhoids and fissures
of suppositories and and creams
and if my arse is boiling hot
and how the fucker stings!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Grow a pair- or die!

You were lucky this time. Sounds like the pilots did a great job.

But you passengers need to fight harder- you are fighting for your lives here!

This is something everyone who gets on a plane needs to think about. Be prepared to give it everything and STOMP THE FUCKER'S GUTS OUT!

That POS should have gone of the plane in a body bag.

Grab an arm from each side. Use your teeth and try to bite right through the arm. While they are held anyone else that can get into the fight pound her to pudding. When she looks like five tonnes of quivering, bloody sushi on the deck of a whaler- you are getting there!

It's YOUR lives- and remember- right then, those of the crew are far more important than yours.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

'Liar, Liar...'

Ain't it a miracle!

We have gone from not being able to afford to have tax cuts to 'now we can'!

All it takes it doing the maths.

And figuring out that you are way behind in the polls...

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Unbelievable Dumbfuckery!

Yesterday morning I was stopped at a Featherston rail crossing, as the lights and bells were going. I glanced down the tracks to see a train at the station and in doing so, I saw a 2-3 year-old child walking down the tracks!

I got on the horn and gave a long blast, then unlocked my belt to get out and make a run for the kid. Before I opened the door, I saw an 'adult' who was in my blind spot, walking just ahead of the child. They then wandered off the tracks to stand in the middle of the road and talk to someone in a car waiting on the other side.

You just have to wonder how some moron rock-apes manage to remember to keep breathing...