Sunday, December 30, 2007

Weight loss plan

This is one Christmas that I have not been overeating.

Some strain of nasty has gotten into my inards and while the grosser effects have passed, I have no appetite and bloat really easily.

I have dropped about 4kg since the 26th when the trouble started.

All I have to do is keep it going for another three weeks!

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Albert and the Tiger

There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool,
That's noted for fresh-air and fun,
And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom
Went there with young Albert, their son.

A grand little lad was their Albert
All dressed in his best; quite a swell
'E'd a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle
The finest that Woolworth's could sell.

They didn't think much to the ocean
The waves, they was fiddlin' and small
There was no wrecks... nobody drownded
'Fact, nothing to laugh at, at all.

So, seeking for further amusement
They paid and went into the zoo
Where they'd lions and tigers and cam-els
And old ale and sandwiches too.

There were one great big lion called Wallace
His nose were all covered with scars
He lay in a som-no-lent posture
With the side of his face to the bars.

Now Albert had heard about lions
How they were ferocious and wild
And to see Wallace lying so peaceful
Well... it didn't seem right to the child.

So straight 'way the brave little feller
Not showing a morsel of fear
Took 'is stick with the'orse's 'ead 'andle
And pushed it in Wallace's ear!

You could see that the lion didn't like it
For giving a kind of a roll
He pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im
And swallowed the little lad... whole!

Then Pa, who had seen the occurrence
And didn't know what to do next
Said, "Mother! Yon lions 'et Albert"
And Mother said "Eeh, I am vexed!"

So Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom
Quite rightly, when all's said and done
Complained to the Animal Keeper
That the lion had eaten their son.

The keeper was quite nice about it
He said, "What a nasty mishap
Are you sure that it's your lad he's eaten?"
Pa said, "Am I sure? There's his cap!"

So the manager had to be sent for
He came and he said, "What's to do?"
Pa said, "Yon lion's 'eaten our Albert
And 'im in his Sunday clothes, too."

Then Mother said, "Right's right, young feller
I think it's a shame and a sin
For a lion to go and eat Albert
And after we've paid to come in!"

The manager wanted no trouble
He took out his purse right away
And said, "How much to settle the matter?"
And Pa said "What do you usually pay?"

But Mother had turned a bit awkward
When she thought where her Albert had gone
She said, "No! someone's got to be summonsed"
So that were decided upon.

Round they went to the Police Station
In front of a Magistrate chap
They told 'im what happened to Albert
And proved it by showing his cap.

The Magistrate gave his o-pinion
That no-one was really to blame
He said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms
Would have further sons to their name.

At that Mother got proper blazing
"And thank you, sir, kindly," said she
"What waste all our lives raising children
To feed ruddy lions? Not me!"

Moral of the story?

Don't tease the fucking Tiger!

We probably won't ever really know if the did, but I'm reminded of a similar scenario at Wellington zoo. I was watching the Lions when a group of kids started winding up a lion on the other side of a plexiglass window. This animal was charging the window and the kids though this was hilarious. I ordered my wife and kids out. I rarely take that tone with them and they left immediately. The other damned fools had no appreciation of the power of these animals


I have been tagged!

This one is an eight point 2008 wish list. One or two things come to mind...

  1. More sex and more money (the two are not mutually exclusive) Tonights powerball would be nice!
  2. My Luger to finally get out of Pakistani customs.
  3. Liarbour and the Greens to get knocked on their arses.
  4. ACT to get over the 5 % threshold.
  5. Libertarianz to get a seat (as likely as my powerball win, but hey- I keep buying tickets!)
  6. Reintroduction of the Death Penalty, flogging and an annual decimation in prisons.
  7. Lindsay Mitchell wins a seat and in a deal between Nats and ACT, is appointed Minister of Social Welfare (or whatever they call it now)
  8. Income tax is abolished.
I tag Crusader Rabbit, Zen Tiger, Mrs Smith, MK's Views and KOTGD

Friday, December 28, 2007

Lemmings on the move

Happens every year at this time.

People living at one end of the country get an unexplainable urge to rush to the other end of the country.

And they all leave Mr Brain at home. Which could explain why credit card spending goes through the roof at this time.

If I had it my way (I don't) I would be retreating into the hills for a couple of weeks, as I used to do in my younger days, to spend time hunting, fishing and growing facial hair.

With not a she-mountain isle-blocker, camper van driving retard or a subhuman wearing Crocs in sight!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

New road rule- m'kay?

It's called:

'Give way to the frickin' locals'

Do we understand each other?

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Coming to a Banana Republic near you...

2008 Ballot Paper

This Ballot Paper proudly sponsored by NZ Labour, democratic leaders of the free world etc. (Approved by H Simpson; Paid for by Parliamentary Service)

Name: _________________________*

Address: _________________________*

* I realise that for transparency reasons, we should not vote anonymously, because the Exclusive Brethren may try to vote twice.

* I may leave this blank if I want to assign my vote to the incumbent government

* Any voting form filled out incorrectly will become a proxy vote for whoever Margaret Wilson decides, as Margaret Wilson can be relied upon to be impartial.

[X] Yes, I give my electorate vote to NZ Labour

[X] Yes, I give my Party vote to NZ Labour

[X] Yes, Please repeat the same order next election (assuming we hold them)

[X] Please assign my family's vote to Labour on this one convenient vote ticket.
I declare my dog to be living and in good health.
Total in family: 4,6,8,20 (Circle one. Round up to the nearest number.)
(White out any X if they are not required)

[ ] No, I would prefer to vote for ________________________^

(Please enter the candidate name & party EXACTLY for your vote to be valid.)

^ By voting for another party, I realise that IRD may audit me as part
of a random compliance initiative.

[X] But I still want to Party Vote Labour

[ ] Please cancel my Party Vote as a protest (any kind of protest)

[ ] No, I've thought about it and want to Party Vote _____________

[ ] I've changed my mind. Cancel my party vote.

[X] This is a one time vote, I revert to auto-subscribe (vote Labour) in future elections.
(White out the X if not required)
Declaration: Please check the following

[ ] I am not Exclusive Brethren (You guys said you don't vote, so don't.)

[ ] I am not, or never have been a member of a terrorist organisation such as National, which starts with the letter N, the same letter as Nazi.

[ ] I believe my NCEA credit has suitably qualified me to understand why I am voting Labour. I also believe that Labour were forced to charge me millions of dollars for my university education, and I am grateful they have decided not to charge interest.

Shamelessly plagiarized from NZ Conservative

Monday, December 24, 2007

Silent Night

Blissful peace!

Everyone else has gone out to look at Christmas lights.

I'm on-call and have two choices:

Stay home and have nothing happen
Go out and have my phone go nuts with fault calls

So stay home alone is the choice!

No doubt I will pay for this...

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Saturday, December 22, 2007

The imminent famine

I sure there must be one coming- going by the hordes buying up at Pak & Save today!

Honestly, the shops are only closed for two days! How much can you frickin' eat in that time.

But then looking at the numerous examples of Ambulocetus* blocking the aisles- quite a bit!

All I have left to do is pick up my ham on Monday, so I can avoid the Red Shed, Pak & Save and the other forms of retail hell for the really crazy days.

The seasonal insanity has also spread to the roads, going by the low-grade moron driving at 65km on the open road, oblivious to the rest of the world.

It's that or German Cortinas doing warp factor nine on their way to the cutsy holiday cottage in Martinborough or Greytown.

Normally I go into hiding at this time of year, but I'm working so I can't...

* Look it up like I did

Friday, December 21, 2007


Inquest looms on 200-year-old skull

By Don Farmer

An ancient skull of a white female found near Featherston and with what appears to be injuries inflicted on it could prove to be a testing finale for outgoing Masterton District Coroner Jock Kershaw.

A forensic scientist and a very experienced consultant forensic pathologist both examined the skull in Auckland.

Their conclusion was the skull was "not Maori" and "clearly the skull of an adult woman".

The experts put the time of death only as "beyond living memory" but when it was forwarded to the Environmental Science and Research laboratory for carbon-14 dating an accurate finding on its age was made.

Police are not willing to make public the age of the skull before the inquest but have confirmed, in information requested under the Official Information Act, the mid-1700s as being "in the ball park".


Could we have a few inaccuracies in the history books?

Never mind- this inconvenient find will soon disappear...

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Did the earth move for you?


All day lying in puddles, working in 100% humidity and covered in mud, oil and rust, straining to undo frozen bolts.

I thought that was a shit of a day.

Then I got an email from a chap I have known for years. He has been sliding downhill form depression for some years. It looks like he has reached the turnaround point now, but on catching up with his past couple of years- I decided my day, job and life are really nothing to complain about!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I had noted the similarity...

Thanks to Tom Scott for the cartoon


That painful time of year

When dutiful parents have to attend assorted school events.

Tonights one was the annoying type where kids sing badly in other languages.

The difference between sitting though that and a tooth extraction- about $90...

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Oswalds Easy Eggnog

Forget the bullshit recipes found elsewhere. Eggnog is custard with booze added- that's about it. You don't need to make custard- the stuff in the supermarket works fine.


Take one litre of ready-made custard

Whisk in 250 mls of cream and a cup (big) of dark rum, along with a teaspoon of ground nutmeg.

Is that easy or what?

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Woman of the Year my arse!

What a load of PC crap!


I know her sort well- a feckin' groupie!

We had them in the army too. They would fuck anything in a uniform. The consent issues might be dodgey by todays PC standards, but we are talking about a time when life was different.

There is an old saying 'there is none so righteous as a reformed whore'

That's about the size of it. There sleazy past comes up, so they deny it saying the were raped.

[Insert Tui ad here]

You cant judge the standards of 30 years ago by today.

And the past is THE PAST.

Still too good for them!

“The meals on Christmas day are almost identical to that served on any other day with the added extra of a Christmas mince pie. The menu is the same across all 20 prisons.

“Lunch is a portion of chicken, a serving of vegetables and a mince pie. Cold meat, salads and fruit will be dished up for dinner.

“While the meals are nutritious, they are by no means lavish.”

Story Here:

Meals are one thing Corrections gets about right- although they are soft on luxuries like tea and sugar.

However, I reckon Christmas should be a day of fasting- as should any day not spent working be!

One soft-cock doesn't agree:

"...Top Wellington chef Martin Bosley was aghast after seeing a photograph of the prison Christmas fare.

"That is truly awful," he said of the meal. "Your first thought is, 'Thank Christ I'm not in jail.' Imagine being sentenced to 18 years of that."

However, he said that, with a budget of $4 a day for three square meals, he would find it hard to create anything more appetising..."

News flash!- that might be 'Truly Awful' to a metrosexual tucker-fucker, but there are many thousands out there in NZ that would be delighted to receive that- not aghast.

Anything better for the inmate shit-heads is just like feeding a pig strawberries.

But he seems to gets the moral of the lesson- DON'T GO TO JAIL!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Make the punishment fit the crime


Is not trivial- the cost of spam is enormous

"...About 95 per cent of emails this year - up from 70 per cent in 2006 - were classified as junk messages, according to a report from US security firm Barracuda, Agence France Presse reported.

Most of this is deleted by email filters run by Internet providers before it hits inboxes..."

I believe the punishment should fit the crime- thus all spammers are to be reduced to- Spam!

Put through an industrial-grade mincer, rendered down, seasoned and sold for dog tucker. (which is all Spam is fit for!)

If it won't sell as dog tucker, at least they won't take up much cell space!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Buy a Fireman a beer!

I can't praise those unpaid volunteers enough!

I was one of the first on the scene of a nasty crash an hour ago. The vehicle had hit a power pole, the driver was badly injured and the ute was on fire.

With my extinguisher and another from another first-aider we kept the fire down, but could not extinguish it.

The driver was trapped and there was no way we could get her out.

It was a real relief to see that fire crew arrive, just as the engine was starting to flare up, as we were near out of options!


Story here:

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Restricting slug guns is not exactly what I would do...

"Police in Tauranga doubt further restrictions on the use of slug guns will stop youths from committing crimes..."

They would be right. These morons simply can't look 15 seconds into the future and see what the results of their idiocy could be.


Well lets look at dropping restrictions on carrying ALL firearms. (For those who LEGALLY own them)

"...He says packs of youths looking for trouble is becoming all too common, and they seem to have no respect for the law..."

Well, I bet the little shitheads will respect a 230 grain chunk of lead & copper. The thought of getting a REAL slug in return may just deter them from waving weenie airguns about!

Just let us protect ouselves. The police, with the best of intentions, can't be everywhere...

Saturday, December 08, 2007

On the Positive side

I'm always impressed with people who create or discover a new niche and make a business out of it.

Today I 'found' one, while looking for something for the wife. It's a local boutique that sells upmarket labels- second-hand.

The owner spends two days a week hunting down the good stuff amongst the dross in the second-hand shops, then resells it in her shop. I'm told you can get an outfit for something like a wedding or formal occasion for under $100.

Ladies, if you like a bargain and don't mind second-hand (as in worn once)

'Ooh La La' in Featherston, next to the RSA.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Thieving swine!

Hey you pinko shit-eaters! You know who you are- I've seen your IP addresses on my stats tracker and know you look in here.

Re-adjust the friggin tax tables, you bottom-dwelling scum sucking crapheads.

As you thieving bastards well know- they have not been matched to inflation in eight-odd years.

$800 in bloody tax last week. I should stop working 13+ hr days and let your friggin crappers dry up!

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Sympathy- Zero

Nobody wants you, you piece of Shit!

What a friggin' surprise that nobody want the chief suspect in a double infanticide in their town!

Some advice for Mr Loser:

  • Get the dorky ring out of your face when you are in court.
  • Learn to like your own company.
  • Cut lengthways, not across the wrist.
  • It's too late to do the 'growing up' now.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Shutting the stable door after the horse has buggered off

Typical of the Army- now that they have been burgled- they now have guards wandering around outside the museum! More Mickey-Mouse for the current intake.

(I have spies everywhere!)

To those who say that the thieves need dealing to by the SAS- I say NO!

Let them take a kicking by a bunch of WW2 vets.

Like being impaled on a blunt spike- it takes much longer....

Sunday, December 02, 2007

A despicable act!

Charles Upham's Victoria Cross and bar is among prestigious military medals stolen from the Waiouru Army Museum.

Nine Victoria Crosses, two George Crosses and other medals were stolen in the theft early today.

Museum staff discovered that several displays had been broken into, after the alarm was activated in an annex to the building sometime between midnight and 6am.


I'm going to take a guess that this is going to turn out to be a theft by activists. This property is too hot and too specialised to sell.

Any penalty on the books is not enough for these lowfife scum- whatever the reason!

Friday, November 30, 2007

Stop!- thief!

Former minister Bunkle gets diversion for theft

6:00AM Friday November 30, 2007

Former Government minister Phillida Bunkle has been given diversion after pleading guilty to taking about $30 worth of items from a supermarket.

The former Alliance MP and Consumer Affairs Minister was charged with theft after walking out of a Paraparaumu supermarket without paying for coffee and a bottle of wine on October 16.

The Dominion Post reported yesterday that Bunkle had returned from Britain, where she had been for several weeks, to face the charge at Porirua District Court.

The judge was convinced that, as a former Alliance MP, Bunkum genuinely did not understand that it is wrong to take other peoples property.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Where's Cricket?

I ate the little fucker!


Dead Rat-dog- best kind!

The Christmas wish list

Her Indoors:

Clothes vouchers
Gold stuff
More gold stuff.

What's Christmas?

Transformers (all)
Hot wheels
Swimming pool
R/C car
Transformer towel
Transformers sleeping bag
Transformers Movie
50" LCD TV
Chocolate transformers

More sex
More Money
A Luger

Monday, November 26, 2007

Into the 21st!

After an IE meltdown, I finally upgraded to Mozilla Firefox.

Why did I wait so long!- I have had this PC for six months now (The old one wouldn't run a real browser)

Screw you Microsoftcocks!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

A consequence-free enviroment

Where a 21 year-old can knock up a 12 year-old (having shagged her since age 11)

Sordid story here:


"...Police chose not to lay charges against a 21-year-old who fathered a child with a 13-year-old girl - even though he confessed to police he had been having sex with a minor..."

I would be choosing to cut the friggin' pedophille's balls off and feed them to him!

"...Asked about police protocols in the case of someone having sex with a minor, a spokesperson at Police National Headquarters said charges were laid only if there was sufficient evidence and proceeding with a case was in the public interest..."

How about DNA evidence?

Or is he planning a career in the labour party?

Feckin' unbelievable!

Friday, November 23, 2007

Bloody Metrosexual TV

I was going to have a go about the endless shows involving simpering poofters telling us how to dress & live.

But I found This and couldn't have put it better myself!

Well- it was a start!

"...Two protesters who disrupted Wellington's Anzac Day dawn service by setting fire to a New Zealand flag and blowing a horn have been convicted in Wellington District Court..."


$500 + $130 costs was a start.

Tar & Feathers would have been good, along with a day in the stocks.

Having the shit kicked out of them at the after-match fuction even better!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

White Ribbon Bullshit

I didn't know that the dick-licking UN were behind this bollocks, until I read the previously linked article- but I'm not suprised.


I see no need to 'show proof' that I'm agin it! (generally- I know a few that would be improved by a pickaxe through the spinal column!)

"...The New Zealand Crime and Safety Survey 2006 found that 26 per cent of women can expect to experience violence by a male partner during their lifetime..."

So about 74% of us don't do it. Sod off and bug the other 26%

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Tax avoidance

After an 18 month break, I'm back into brewing my own.

The discounter that was selling dirt cheap beer is gone and the replacement's pencil is not nearly as sharp.

So sod him and the tax department- I'm back to making 40 pints for $12

I need another fermenter and the still will be coming back into use too.

On the subject, a clean up of the garage yielded 8 litres of misc. spirits and liquers, hidden behind assorted junk. This haul included several bottles of 19 year-old homemade Elderberry wine!

Monday, November 19, 2007

The Workplace and Workers

50% are nominally competent at their job- at least when closely supervised by a competent supervisor. This is not a state that happens as often as it should.

10% are self-starters and can do their job without somebody holding their hand. They will turn up and actually look for useful things to do.

2% are self-starters that will find ways of doing the job better, faster or cheaper. You hope they won't move to bigger and better things.

The rest-

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Toasted Martinborough

It's that time of year again!

Spare a thought for the cleaners that have to de-puke the trains and buses tonight!

It was a hot day today and there were more drunks at large than on the streets of Hokitika on VE day, 1945.

One of the lads on cleanup last year (age 18) made the interesting comment that had a younger crowd at a rock concert left such a trail of refuse, discarded clothing, glass and vomit- the media would have had a field day with it.

He had a good point...

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Harden up you pussywhipped, Brady Bunch townies~

Did this article need a graphic images warning?

A couple of friggin goat heads! They have probably been left out for the flesh to rot off- a lot of folks do that as they want to keep the skulls and horns. No satanic rituals to see here- move along!

"...A Waikato SPCA animal inspector said it was "very graphic and horrific" and severed animal heads should never be left in full public view..."

You friggin soft-cock weenie! Take a look in the butcher's shop and you will see pigs heads and other bits of critter. Whats the bloody difference?

Another non-story about the pussification of New Zealand...

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Miss America

Nobody expects the Spanish Inqisition!

Or the Cigarette Gestapo!

Honestly, with all that is going on in our world, can't you wannabe Dick Tracy types GET OUT AND CATCH SOME CROOKS!

I mean- what is this shit:

"...A 14-year-old volunteer, the Wairarapa DHB Public Health Smokefree enforcement officer and a Ministry of Health Enforcement Officer visited 12 Masterton and three Carterton dairies recently checking to see if retailers were selling cigarettes to minors in a Controlled Purchase Operation..."

Do these pricks dress up in a Fedora and a black leather trenchcoat and pose in front of the mirror at night, practicing saying "papers!" in a menacing tone?

Get real jobs!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Exorcisms don't kill- morons do

If you have invisible friends- keep them to yourself!

"...Police confirmed yesterday the death of Moses, who has two daughters aged three and one, was suspicious and a homicide inquiry was under way.

It was believed she drowned in an "extensive amount" of water held in plastic containers in the lounge of the house. Up to 40 people were watching the ceremony when she died..."

Because other fuckwits will try to 'save' you.

And ther is nothing quite as dangerous as well-meaning fucktards....

Friday, November 09, 2007

More survey bullshit

"Almost 20 per cent of men do not wash their hands after using public toilets, a national hand hygiene survey has found..."


More anti- male crap which implies we are dirtier than saintly women!

"...Overall 92.4 per cent of females washed their hands, compared with 81.0 per cent of males.
Female subjects also washed their hands for longer with a median duration of 8.8 seconds, compared with 8.0 seconds for males. Only 8.1 per cent of subjects washed their hands for at least 20 seconds.
Males who did wash their hands used soap almost 10 per cent less often than females..."

We are comnparing apples with oranges here- or perhaps bananas with peaches!

News flash! Males and females have different plumbing and to be blunt- males don't have to wipe urine off themslves (usually) Unlike Jornos, most of us have mastered the art of not pissing on our fingers!

I find the fact that 8% of women don't wash fingers that have been in amongst their bits & pieces more disturbing.

And when leaving a public toilet- your hands are going to touch the doorhandle which was touched by the scrubbed and the filthy!

I have been in many a public toilet where Mr Wobbly was the cleaner than any fixture in the room!

Perhaps it's time gloves came back into fashion...

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Crystal ball gazing

Watch now for an upsurge in improvised fireworks/explosives as the young and stupid explore a mostly consequence-free NZ.

All the materials are available on the supermarket shelves.

Don't expect ME to tell you what they are!

My prediction is that bomb-making efforts will take off next year.

It won't be terrorists- just dumbass boys on the way to meet Darwin...

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

On a more serious note

Stealing from an Ambulance:

One of the lower things that a scumbag could choose to do. It's in the same league as stealing food from children or taking a pensioner's life savings.

Bastinado or keel-hauling sounds about right- for a first offense.


I brought one, something I have never done before.

They were $2.50 and I thought- 'what the hell- try something new.'

Now I'm thinking- 'What the hell do I do with the frickin thing!'


Problem solved!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

So Long- nobbled by the Govamint- again!

You wicked people- look what you made us do to you!
Since some of you can't behave- no fireworks for anybody!
Now go to bed and think about what you have done- while we find something else to regulate, ban or censure!

Sunday, November 04, 2007

I did it yet again!

I have a bit of a 'thing' for just avoiding smashes on the Rimutakas. When I say just avoiding, I mean that I have passed the about to be crash site five minutes or less before the incident. This has happend on no less than eight occasions- about once a year. Not so much now that I'm working locally.

Today's one would have happened less than 60 seconds after we passed the site, going by the position of the convoy of emergency services.

When I was commuting, there would be signs of a new crash (broken glass, fences down or paint on the rock) at least three times a week. It's not really a hard road at all. You just have to slow down in the wet, wind or when there is ice on the road.

A hell of a lot don't.


I did it again today!

I arrived at the club and a chap who arrived 5 minutes after me asked "Did you see the burning motorcycle on the side of the road?"

Wasn't there when I went past that spot!

Before you ask- yes- I did get that new pair of glasses!

Friday, November 02, 2007

Another 'Yeah- Right'

"You won't see cops with guns on the streets of 'Rich White suburbs'"- according to the bleeding heart brigade.

Take a look at the news and see what is going on in the 'Rich White suburb' of Mirimar right now.


Discussion has gotten a little off-subject, which is fine, but the post was pointing out that statements by scum-loving lawyers after the latest raids out in the jungle. I don't hear the people of Mirimar whinging that they have been terrorised and traumatised by the black-clad colonial oppressors!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Feckin' Halloween!

I don't like halloween!

We spend 364 days of the year teaching our kids to BEWARE strangers bearing sweets and on one day they are allowed out to SEEK strangers with sweeties.

How FUBAR is that!

The other bit that gets sand in my crotch is encouraging kids to BEG! To demand that which is unearned. That REALLY pisses me off! As somebody who believes that kicking beggers should be raised to an olympic sport, there is no way my kids are going to be allowed out to scrounge pogey bait!

Kids are natural opportunists and will jump onto any excuse to get sugar- I don't blame them for getting into the halloween bullshit. I blame spineless parents who won't say NO!

And that prick Tindall!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Fighting global warming

What else could I do, but buy a heat pump!

Now I are protected from global warming- and premature warming of my Gin & Tonic.

Carry on!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Random musings

Whilst watching a doco on volcanos on Sky, I couldn't help wondering about gas emissions.

Given that they put out far more gas and ash than mankinds puny efforts- we should be looking to the volcano when considering climate change.

Obviously, the volcano gods need appeasing.

Can anyone think of suitable groups of drones that can be flung into the nearest crater? I know I can!

After all- it can't hurt to have a dollar each way!

Hurt anyone that matters, that is...

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Another reason to consider emigrating

Big sister is watching YOU

As we all knew Loonie Sue's Bill has saved zero lives from scumbag parents but is causing grief for normal parents.

"...She was told that her child, referred to as "X" in the testimony, had shown aggressive behaviour towards another student and when questioned told a teacher there had been a smacking.
Under new policy, teachers were required to report all smacking incidents to CYF..."

Now liarbour has recruited their toadies- the schoolteachers- as the CYFS Secret Police.

Would that a few punches were thown over that act as it went through parliment!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Pahiatua Playground- a blast from the past!

You don't see this stuff in the typical playground of today. But in Pahiatua the clock is in the wind-up period!
Another great feature is that the park is in the center of town, between the north & south lanes- It's totally open and has nowhere to hide & get up to mischief!
The bottom image is a swing built like a battering ram. Just the thing to give the nervous ninnies and wet blankets apolexy!
Take the kiddies there before nanny's baleful eye turns this way...

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Is it me or...

Or are our workplaces riddled with the terminally useless?

It seems to be that about one in eight suffers from delusions of adequacy.

I have spent the last two weeks doing damage control after a wannabe started monkeying with equipment he was supposedly a frickin' expert on. In the real world, it turns out he doesn't know shit from clay. Attempt to teach him the difference have all failed. Not only have I found it impossible to teach him to differentiate the two, but I can't stop him trying to use taste...

Over the years I have seen a procession of these knuckle-draggers pass through and holding qualifications does not excuse one from this list. Quite the contrary- the worst of them have an impressive looking CV- they just can't pick up a screwdriver without sticking it through their hand. They never seem to go short of a job, either.

When will managers learn to actually talk to past employers?

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Old Country Playground

They don't make then like this anymore- roundabouts, big swings, high slides.

This is the same slide I played on 40 years back. My boys enjoyed it just as much.

They don't wrap them in cotton wool here!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

While Day by Day is off the air..

A few classics from the past!

That AIN'T mud! or 'Here there be cows'

This is a track I have to navigate every day. This is what it looks like after a few days of good weather. After a week of rain, it's mostly under water.

You never have the window down here!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Reeducation- why bother?

Why bother trying to rehabilitate perverts?

"A controversial rehab programme that recommends jailed paedophiles quell their sexual impulses by imagining being gang-raped by skinheads will continue to be used..."


Hell- that would just excite half of them!

These disgusting subhuman slime simply need to be executed at first opportunity. A person who molests a child has no, repeat, no reason to live.

As we live in enlightened times, a quick death with bullet,noose or chemicals instead of the foulest torments that can be devised- which is no more or less than they deserve.

Like this peice of vulture shit who raped tortured and slowly killed a 13 year-old girl.

The fucker is stealing our oxygen and this needs to stop...

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Monkey with a mortar

[Cue Nelson Muntz voice] HA HA!

Sympathy-it's in the dictionary between 'Shit' and Syphilis'

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Feckin' wannabees

I have heard talk about the wannabee 'Freedom Fighters' training out in the sticks.

That's about all they are- wannabees with a bad attitude, a chip on BOTH shoulders and a few elderly rifles and petrol bombs.

The trouble is, these wannabees are how terrorist organisations start out. All they need is funding- and the money is out there- while the oil holds out. The only need to recruit a few capable and competent hotheads and people start dying.

Get some nutter, fill him up with P, give him a rifle or a few sticks of gelly and sic him on whitey!

Filling suicide bombers up with meth is nothing new- it's been going on since WW2. As an aside, many of the atrocities may have been meth-fueled. It was commonly used to keep soldiers awake.

And from those who should know better, you get comments like:

"Meanwhile, Maori Pa rty co-leader Pita Sharples said the raids had destroyed trust and set race relations back a hundred years.
He said raids in strong Tuhoe parts of Bay of Plenty reminded him of the atrocities committed at Parihaka, and of the pursuit of Te Kooti Rikirangi.
"This action has violated the trust that has been developing between Maori and Pakeha and sets our race relations back a hundred years," he said..."


Keep it up- with statements like this the mask is well & truely off!

Monday, October 15, 2007

We were right!

A while back, I agreed with Cactus Kate on the matter of swimming in public pools.

We decided it wasn't a good idea for those not into urolagnia

I did the pool water treatment qualification course today.

We were right!

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Another damp squib

After a very long wait for the local election result, it was a rotten damp sqib- as I thought it would be.

The only challenge to the mayor's job was by a chap who was overseas until just before the elections- thus nobody knew what he was about.

The usual popularity contest for a seat around the table seemed to be determined by who had the purdyest pictures plastered about. At least for one of the local ones it worked. Her blurb in the handout made no mention of any local efforts. My reliable sources tell me that is because she had none. A university educated type who is a waitress in a cafe. Hmmmm.

So the hope of a hard-charging firepiss mayor who drives out some of the inbreeds and muppets from the council offices is gone for this term!

But really- a council for a whole 6-7 thousand people? What a WOFTAM!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Local election results

Are nowhere to be seen.

Pathetic when you consider there are only a couple of thousand voters.

Perhaps SWDC has misplaced their abbacus.

Or they are a lazy, incompetent bunch of mindless jerks who need to be the first up against the wall when the day comes.

Or nobody other than myself bothered to vote.

It could be all of the above...

Hubbard's Toast!

Feck off you turd!

A blow aginst Nanny State!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Making a position clearer

I has been said my posts are becoming too moderate.

I, however- have not!

I have assumed that my regular readers know my feelings on certain matters. An example being what the thieving swine responsible for taking our EARNINGS by force should get!

Personally, I would like to ramset them to a fetid dungeon wall (read sewer) and douse their bodies with boiling cheese fondue, prior to releasing a couple of hundred starving rats into their cell.

Although Iain Banks came up with a dozy too!

In this one, the offender was placed in a watertight cell. Above, a feast was being enjoyed and guess where the toilets emptied!

What a fitting fate for those who have leeched a living and produced nothing but a lot of verbal diarrhoea!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007



They love to bang on about the money supposedly rorted by the sale of NZ Rail, but that pales into insignificance compared to $8,700,000,000.

And we have a country full of morons who allow this to happen by voting for these thieves!

Election bribes to follow:

"Hey Lurleen- we dun gonna get more welfar!"

Back to real heroism!

The whole sorry tale is here:

A three-year old tries to save her younger siblings "...As the man went for the girl's siblings, she tried to protect them, throwing her small self between her father and their smaller bodies..."

Now the thought of one of my children having to do such a thing makes me physically sick!

In my book, that's heroic- and at the same time sickening- that a child should have to do such a thing.

Also, on the subject- the subhuman piece of refuse who could turn on his family needs to be put down at first opportunity. Such scum are worse that rabid dogs and just as dangerous!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Cry me a frickin' river!

"...Smith said a tearful Kahui was now aware he could spend a long time in jail.

"He is getting a very firm grip on the situation. He was quite tearful when I spoke to him. He does not want to spend the next seven months in solitary confinement..."


So finally shit-for-brains has realised where he is going to spend a large part of his worthless life, if found guilty- and it looks like he will.

And hes blubbing about spending the next seven months in solitary. AWWWWW!

That would be to do with the THREE breaches of parole?

If you go down, you will be looking at about 34 YEARS.

So now you know what happens when you drop a beer crate on a baby's head...

Monday, October 08, 2007

Big deal, so what!

I do wish the sheep would whip up as much enthusiasm tackling for the way freedom of speech is being minimised, as they do for bloody rugby!

I wish they would howl with outrage at our ridiculous levels of taxation.

I wish that, just occasionaly, they would riot in the streets over government policy.

And they can get away from the tribalist angst anytime soon! As those of us with lives did two beers after the whistle.

Perhaps less energy could be put into the pre-match primate threat-display and more into learning the bloody rules!

Move along- nothing to see here!

Sunday, October 07, 2007


See- it IS possible to hit a running critter!

Small but TASTY!

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Just let us defend ourselves, if you aren't up to it!

"Police are being accused of double standards after it emerged yesterday they are required to do less training with firearms than hunters.

Police national operations manager Superintendent Tony McLeod said police firearm training consists of nine days in camp, plus 24 hours "maintenance" practice each year.

"Police were "not generally" trained to shoot at moving targets, McLeod said.

The president of the Sporting Shooters Association, Dr Lech Beltowski, said the training was insufficient.

"You can't, in nine days and 24 hours every year, teach people what takes years of experience and repetitive target shooting to achieve."

Members of pistol clubs were required by police to shoot 12 times a year or they faced losing their B class (target shooting pistol) endorsement, Beltowski said.

"For us to stay reasonably accurate we really have to shoot at least once a month ... There's a bit of a double standard here, I think..."


First, I want to clear up a point in this article- the reason pistol shooters need to attend 12 shoots per year is to demonstrate and prove a bona fide interest in the sport of pistol shooting.

Police training, not unlike military, is more about firearms drills and procedures than in accuracy. In these aspects, their training is good. Having mastered safe firarms handling, they need to move forward to action shooting, which includes moving target.

If they could take a dose of humble pie, their local pistol club could provide much valuable instruction in this area. We would be more than happy to help- for a small fee and a pile of free 9mm!

The only ones better instructors are a bit occupied at the moment, the SAS being a bit busy right now.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Soft-cocks need not apply here

I read this and thought of an episode from years ago.

In my army days, grenade throwing was voluntary, as it was considered high-risk.

Of course we all looked forward to grenade day! Fuck the danger!

I well remember on day on the way to the range, the OC stood up on the bus and gave the official party line about this activity being voluntary.

He then continued with the non-PC bit that anyone who didn't want to play with high-explosive and steel WAS FREE TO FUCK OFF IMMEDIATLY ON OUR RETURN, AS HE DIDN'T WANT ANY LIMP-DICk SOLDIERS IN HIS COMPANY!

There were no takers, even the girls who, strictly speaking, were not meant to take part!

Hat Tip:

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Sorry you missed me!

I wouldn't have missed.

That is some serious motivation to get on target!

I have often said the cops should be using shotguns. I appears I was right...

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

My Precious

We have outwitted the minions of HELLen and the import license has been granted!

The fangs of the Ungolient have been bound and the Lugers have but to pass through Customs.

And the precious shall be MINE!

1907 Lugers in Excellent condition.

(You would think we we importing Ukrainian Suitcase Nukes!)

Not frickin' pre WWI pistols!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

On the lighter side- a site with some serious pussy!


Hat Tip:


"...A two-year-old girl has died and her parents have suffered severe burns trying to rescue her from a house fire in Australia.

Emergency crews were called to the house in King Street, Swan Hill, 340km north-west of Melbourne, shortly before 9.30pm on Monday, police said.
The dead girl's brother, four, escaped injury but her parents were burned trying to rescue the little girl from the flames.

Her father, 28, suffered burns to 25 per cent of his body - chiefly his hands, feet and back - while her mother, 25, suffered burns to 60 per cent of her body, Rural Ambulance Service spokesman John Mullen said..."


The word is often misused, especially by the media who seem to have never opened a dictionary or thesaurus.

But that is Heroism in my book.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Told you so!

"Most anger management programmes for violent offenders are a waste of time, says the man who heads psychological services in our prisons..."


As anyone who has worked at the coal-face would tell you!

"...The shorter anger management schemes have long been viewed with scepticism by many prison officers.
"There is is a sense that many prisoners think that it will help them get parole much more quickly and that doing a course will be a tick in the right box," a former prison guard told the Star-Times.
"It is well known that you do an anger management course and then you get religion to try and speed up the parole process. But most people working with the offenders are very cynical that they make a difference,"the guard said.
Last year almost $50 million was spent on trying to rehabilitate New Zealand's prisoners and trying to reintegrate them into the community..."

I have a cheaper option.


Every year we publicly hang 10% of the prison population. For every year of an inmate's sentence, they get one 'Ticket' in the draw!

I think thats a concept the shit-heads could figure out...

Saturday, September 29, 2007

The Warehouse, the Warehouse- where everyone gets a Chinese puzzle!

Today I brought a new barbeque. The wife has a theory that if everything is cooked outside, the kitchen won't need as much cleaning.

That sounded fair enough, so I brought one of these new-fangled gas flame-pits (not that any such thing will ever REPLACE my Weber!) Of course it came in pieces- and they all do this- not just the Red Shed.

As with everything needing assembling, I anticipated trouble and was not dissappointed. Having done all this before I gathered sufficent tools to strip a small aircraft and began to study the Chenglish instructions. This was not helped by my failing eyesight and the 1-point print.

Having divined the mystery, I started assembly with frequent exhortations to the son of the Creator.

Black screws, a black frame and a 23 year-old pair of glasses are not a happy combination. i might as well have been trying to piece the damned thing together down a coal mine at midnight! Like so many of these kits, the alignment of the parts had to be perfect or it wouldn't fit together.

At least it WOULD go together when all was aligned- unlike with other kits the drill, file or sledgehammer sat unused. Also, it had the correct parts- no more, no less. The screws & nuts in a blister pack was a great idea.

What I can't help but wonder is exactly how many of these kits sit in garages unassembled or partially so? I'm reasonably handy at this sort of thing, having spent a lifetime pulling stuff apart and putting it back together- usually in a working condition.

Not everybody out there can rebuild a teleprinter, so I wonder how they get on? Is there a future for a knock-down kit assembler? One who pops around discreetly when the wife is out so hubby doesn't have to be seen conceding defeat!

Friday, September 28, 2007

THIS is a crime???

"A man was today sentenced in Wellington District Court to nine months in prison for bigamy.
Mohammad Waseem, 39, of Tauranga, had earlier pleaded guilty to being married to two women at the same time..."


Don't the courts have better things to to- like deal with crooks! Why this so-called crime gets a custodial sentence is a complete mystery.

Perhaps the second wife should have face the same kangaroo court charges- after all- ignorance is no defense!

But really, when far more serious offenses- ones with actual victims- get fines or community service- what are these taxpayer funded wankers that make a mockery of the 'Justice' in their department thinking!

Oh- of course- he didn't to the paperwork for a legal divorce and some lawyer in the judges club missed out on his pimp money!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

I ain't afraid of no ghost!

From the latest police-assisted suicide:

"...Ms Manderson said she had asked for the police kaumatua Rev Maurice Gray to ensure the cultural process of tapu lifting would be carried out correctly when the scene examination was complete..."

More of the PC shit we are paying for!
A service to rid of of fricking spooks! Ani't it great that us taxpayrs have so much damned spare money that we can afford all these things that we never asked for!
"... I need an old priest and a young priest. The power of Christ compels you!..."

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


Tonight on TV3 there was a story about a Woman 21 years old she's decided to have eleven babies to eleven different men. She already has #1

Unfortunately, I can't find the article and link it.

Guess who she expects to pick up the bill?

That's right- US!

This bludging brood sow needs flogging! We need the likes of here like we need another fifty seats in Parliament. I have to wonder what kind of flawed mind can think that they are ENTITLED to raise a huge brood of dysfunctional children (they will be) at OUR expense. It's bad enough that she has already deliberatly had one.

I really would like to kick her arse!

The random breeding antics of the shallow end of the gene pool are bad enough, but when this breeding is done deliberatly...

What kind of life would a dozen kids have, raised by one moonbat?

Monday, September 24, 2007

IPods don't deafen you- you dumbfucks deafen yourselves

Do I detect a multi-million dollar 'Awareness Campaign'? Perhaps even a new law!

(No wonder the media love Lefties!)

"...The findings of a survey of 1000 people, prepared for the National Foundation for the Deaf, show seven in 10 people aged under 30 have experienced dullness in hearing and tinnitus – the early warning signs of permanent hearing damage..."


The National Foundation for the Deaf are taking the common- sense approach - turn the frickin' thing down, FFS!

But when does nanny state acknowledge 'Common Sense'?

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Hello- is Mr Brain at home?


Young girls wandering about town alone- pissed and wearing bugger-all might as well have a sign around their necks saying 'Rape Me'

It's the equivilent of smearing yourself with bacon fat and walking through bear country.

In a more civilised world, it would be OK to walk about in such a state, but as we know- it is NOT a nice place out there!

Can't you people LEARN from what has happened to others?

The big bad wolf is REAL and we can't have a cop on every corner looking out for you. Nor is the wolf going to get the noose, as he should...

Friday, September 21, 2007

Democracy- what's wrong with it?

What's wrong with it is that every wanker out there gets a vote.

When a well-considered vote is counteracted by Cletus Possumbrain who votes the same way his alcoholic uncle-father alway did.

Why the hell should the unproductive, the parasites and the permanantly baffled have a say in the running of the county?

Do the bloody livestock on the farm get a say in whats for dinner? Of course not, or steak is off the menu and we are all on frickin' silage!

The right to vote needs to be EARNED- by being self-supporting and a contributer. For performing or having performed some unpleasant or arduous public service- military, police, fireman, paramedic, coast guard, search & rescue. By passing a IQ test or an examination in basic civics. Hell, even having a mortgage is a better qualifer than having just being born here!

If every beneficiary gets a vote, then I should get two- in fact, by my figuring I should get four as my tax bill pays for three dole bludgers each week

Democracy is not a bad idea- when those who pick up the tab are the ones who get to have a say!

And those who only take have the right to shut the fuck up and that's about all...

Thursday, September 20, 2007

A small price to pay- yeah- right!

A small price to pay- for BULLSHIT!

I'm not denying climate change- never have.

Because that is all part of the cycles of nature.

The fact that we are responsable is BULLSHIT!

If you govamint fuckers want to be useful (unlikely)-

Lets talk about the right crops for temperature rises in given regions!

Oris this just another tax-grab? (It is!)


Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Another gross post

Fat Bastard wants out of prison because he can't get help to wipe his enormous arse!

(Well- would YOU!)

The moral of the story:

Stay out of prison!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

What do we do with witches?

Is that not the face of evil?

Does she not have a wart?

That's enough for me!

So what do we do with witches?

Clue- I have firewood, a stout stake, rope and fire!

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Oh look- another opportunity for Nanny to restrict something!

"Transport Minister Annette King has raised the prospect of Parliament being polled on lifting the legal driving age, saying it was probably time to see what MPs thought...


From the other side (the non knee-jerk one)

"We are looking at a variety of things but simply raising the driving age isn't one of them," Mr Duynhoven said. "Virtually all serious crashes involving a young person are when they have their mates with them or they are racing one of their mates."

Holders of restricted licences are not generally allowed to carry passengers. Mr Duynhoven said measures would seek to achieve better compliance of licence restrictions including educating parents, "because a lot of parents turn a blind eye to their kids travelling with their mates and some parents are even stupid enough to pay their kid's fine".

Age was not a panacea, he said. Fifteen-year-olds might be more likely to adhere to parental advice than older teenagers, but scientists had discovered full brain maturity did not kick in until about 25..."

Or not, as may be the case.

Especially when driving taxpayer-funded Volkwagons...

Remember these prangs?

Thursday, September 13, 2007

And now for something completely different

On holiday I found a book left behind by a past holidaying person. It was the sort of book you read in a holiday bach on a wet day- not one you would normally give a second glance.

The book was 'A Narrow Street' by Elliot Paul and is a tale of life in Paris during the 1920's & 30's.

I have learnt a lot about the French from reading this. You can see how a nation is ground down into a bunch of cheese-eating surrender monkeys- by a government(s) out of control and with a vast and incompetent bureaucracy.

Sound like somewhere we all know?

Somewhere where every year 'Atlas Shrugged' sounds less like fiction...

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

You too, can meet the Secret Police...

"The Serious Fraud Office is to be disbanded and its functions carried out by a beefed-up organised crime unit run by police, the Government has just announced...

... The OCA will fight organised crime in New Zealand and around the Pacific.
"Organised crime has no boundaries and exploits national and international points of weakness," Ms King said.
"Trans-national networks link gangs, business people, families, political and religious movements and terrorist activities..."


So now Das Fuhrer will have the apparatus to deal with these pesky Bretheren, Business Round Table conspirators, bloggers and those what cause unrest!

Or am I just being a touch paranoid?

I wish I was...

Monday, September 10, 2007

On going nuclear...

I believe nuclear energy to be a good thing, with a couple of reservations, one which I have previously commented on.

With NZ, I believe we should support the world-wide move to nuclear power- not play the head-up-the-arse game our so-called 'leaders' are.

How we should progress towards this form of energy is to develop our existing hydro generation. Can the bloody RMA and build more dams. So a bit of forest gets drowned- lakes also have a lot of recreation potential! We are lucky to have this capacity to buy us time.

With the way technology is moving, the reactors of twenty to forty years time are going to be so much safer and efficent then even the latest of today- a quantum leap ahead of the old Chernobyl type socialist death-traps.

We may even reach the Holy Grail of Fusion in that time.


The Warehouse now have two sections for toys.

Regular and Unleaded!

Saturday, September 08, 2007

What's going on here?

This morning I found a disturbing story on Stuff. It was about that waste of rations, the 'Children's Commissioner'

The story was about how she wanted the family of EVERY newborn child in NZ to be vetted by an agency they would nominate (the family)

If they failed to nonimate an inquisitor, zee valfare agencies vould be sent in!

I wrote up a few caustic comments on this and on posting to blogger- something crashed and all was lost.

So I set to work repeating the post- but the story had vanished from Stuff!

It's enough to start you believing in conspiracy theories!


The story is back


Looks like they just added a bit to the original posting.

This would be another glaring example of rampant PC. We all know that it is a small sub-sector of society that causes 98% of the harm.

But these PC government toadies can't point at brown beneficiaries, can they...

Friday, September 07, 2007

Nuclear power in NZ

I don't want it!


Simple- Would YOU trust a nuclear power plant run by the pubic service?

I wouldn't- and that is how it would be in the unlikely event that the powers that be went for that option. They would undoubtably pronounce that ONLY they could be trusted to run a nuclear plant- as they said about prisons.

I wouldn't trust them with a gas barbeque!

Monday, September 03, 2007

Compo for crime victims

The story:

My opinon is that the government should pay reperations up front.

They should then extract the money from the offender in much the same way they get student loan money.

From the ofenders PLUS interest.

I get reperations drip-fed. NO interest AND NOTHING FOR THE ENDLESS TRIPS TO BANK THE CHECKS.


Grok that?

Friday, August 31, 2007

Another 'Yeah-Right'

"A fundamentalist church pastor had sex with two of his teenage daughters to educate them on how to be good wives, a South Australian court has heard..."


"...The man told the court the sex was not about fulfilling his desires but about teaching his daughters how to behave for their husbands when they eventually married, as dictated in scripture..."

Bullshit! He is perverted old horndog pederast that would shag whoever, whatever was available.

Uncle Pervey got 8 1/2 years, but:

"...Judge Lovell gave full credit for the man's guilty pleas, saying he was genuinely remorseful and had a good chance of rehabilitation as his wife and the church remained supportive..."

All I would give him credit for is being a sad sack of shit that needs gelding with a red hot spoon prior to a long drop on a short rope.

His wife could stand with a flogging and a jail term too!

The debase the name 'Parent'

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

From the WTF! files:

This is supposed to be a prison!

I could really see that working here! [sarcasm mode off]

These Scandinavian countries really deserve to be invaded and ruled by Germany!

Monday, August 27, 2007

Rioting in Dunedin?

'Students' meet LRAD

LRAD, students.

Let the pain commence.

Soft-cock tree-hugger townies!

Are getting all emo about the demise of a bunch of Starlings.

The birds are just rats with wings. Who would give a shit about a sewerful of rats getting blown up?

The chap involved is having his apple crop destroyed by these avian rodents- so be blows the crap out of them.

That's farming- you can't have a person at the bottom of each tree clanging a bell AND apples for two bucks a kilo.

In the real world...

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Hoist by his own Petard!

[Cue Nelson Muntz voice Here:]

On the subject of inmates and their sordid lives, here is a case of 'Lie down with Dogs, you get up with Fleas!'

Saturday, August 25, 2007

A visit to the big smoke

Today was that day of the year I visit Wellington.

As I'm paying for the great Mathom-house (if you don't know what that is- read more) I feel the occasional visit is warranted, so I take the boys to look at bugs, skeletons and other stuff boys find fascinating.

I killed Wellington and the Hutt valley off in my third book. (Earthquake in the 25th century)

Now I'm reminded why.

A culture that needs so many crappy shops deserves to die.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

NZ's Laziest politician

So I'm informed- but that was by another MP.

However, I have no reason to not believe him.

"...Beyer exits mayoral race22.08.2007


Georgina Beyer has pulled out of the Carterton mayoral race, saying it is time to move on from politics.

In June, the Times-Age reported Ms Beyer's intention to stand for the Carterton mayoralty but since then the high-profile politician has changed tack.

"It's been an angsting decision but I think it's time to let go and stand aside."

Ms Beyer, a former Labour MP for Wairarapa, began a year of political flip-flops when she resigned from Parliament in February, after having earlier said she would leave and then changing her mind.
Before putting her hand up for Carterton's top civic job she had indicated a strong desire for the Wellington mayoralty, only to rescind that desire and pull out again in May this year.

Ms Beyer said one of the factors weighing in the decision not to run in the Carterton mayoralty was the apathy of her former constituents.
After a period of personal reflection she had "sounded out" the Carterton community who were largely disinterested in her bid for a third term as the town's mayor, she said..."

Actually, I heard it was not a case of apathy. They told it to sod off!

When George was elected- it was by a protest vote agaist the others standing.

They now have a good man on the job- one who actually cares about his town and who has been known to get his hands dirty doing actual real work.

Maybe Georgie boy could try Invercargill...

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

YES!- the short, sharp shock!

We want the Chain-Gang!

WE want prison life to be awful- so much that nobody wants to go back.

The hand-wringers have had their go and the system is FUBAR.

Let's build tent cities in Waiouru and Tekapo and get some work out of the useless scum-sucking inmates!

Sherrif Joe is a visionary!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Meatheads day out

I have talked my way out of my swimming pool minding job!

Something to do with the fact that I cost 50% more than a pool walla.

Ain't it great to be one of the few employees with an actually vaild qualification!

I still have to hand over the pools though.

So tell me how the FNG can confuse Calcium Hypochorite with Isocyanuric acid?

Do these names look familiar? I can understand mixing sodium carbonate with sodium bicarbonate. Like the chemical supplier did.

At least he remembered that the calcium hypochlorite explodes if you piss on it...

Sunday, August 19, 2007

One of life's mysteries...

Why does somebody?

Watch the living channel continuously
Own dozens of cooking books
Always spend money on new kitchen gadgets
Stock the cupboards to bursting

Then not cook...

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Random thoughts while driving about...

I wonder why more of the left-leaning types don't consider a stint in the Army!

It would be a wonderful egalitarian lifestyle- you get to:

Wear the same clothes
Eat the same food
Have the same medical treatment
Have compulsary exercise
Have a healthy lifestyle
Live were you are told
Have all the essentials of life supplied


You live in a society where most things are either forbidden or compulsary!

It is forbidden to critisize your leaders publically!

But then why are the armed forces deviod of Labour-voting types?

That's right- this is how they believe OTHERS should live!

And soft-cocks aren't welcome !

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Another purchase to explain!

A Walther P38- still in the grease- never used!

It soon will be...

Monday, August 13, 2007

From the files of the bloody obvious...

Lotto winners spend their money on- stuff you would expect!

Where is the story ?

"...The survey, of 75 past winners of between $400,000 and $15 million-plus, revealed that the first purchase for 23 per cent was the not-unexpected "nice bottle of wine" or a meal out.
For 19 per cent, the first purchase was a car.
A whopping 54 per cent followed the Kiwi dream of either buying new property or renovating an existing one and paying off debt.
Thirteen per cent paid for travel, and 7 per cent spent the largest proportion of their winnings on their family..."

We want to read about how they spent it all on nose-candy or hookers. Or on a capybara ranch or a kumquat orchard.

But they don't- they are just boring farts who pay of their houses in one go (instead of sensibly using the interest off the capital, leaving their loot untouched)

The most wildly exciting one was about somebody off to hunt buffalo. The rest brought ride-on lawnmowers.

I believe such articles are called 'filler'...