Monday, August 31, 2009

Get out of my frickin' town you Viking Bastards!

More of the good stuff used in Meddlers in Time!- the 60 mm Mortar.

Assassination in New Zealand

I suppose it must happen someday, although I don't see it taking off as a trend in the near future.

Not given the predominance of apathetic bloody New Zealanders who only rise up in the streets over who is playing rugby with whom.

Mind you, when the more traditional political means are subverted- refferendums ignored, the main parties taking on a certain sameness and the more unelected officials take over this country, there is a future in assassination as a means towards meaningful change.

When politicians sneer at the overwhelming wishes of the voters, while they push their own warped agendas, they can hardly be suprised that they make somebody's 'Better Dead" list.

But why single one out- a good start might be shooting everyone who has expressed a desire to run for Prime Minister.

The job really needs to go to somebody who doesn't want it!

On the lighter side

Well- what else whould you expect from the Prince of Darkness?

Saturday, August 29, 2009

More Manly Machinery

The video does not do it justice. Being on site actually watching this is WAY more impressive!

Coming to a US site you visit

Click for Nehemiah Scudder's latest assault on the free world.

Hat Tip: Day by Day


The Prophet's Thought Police on the loose:

It ain't America no more

If it ain't on the agenda- tough shit.

"More than two-thirds of people want the alcohol purchase age returned to 20, including half of young respondents, a survey of Press readers shows..."

What you WANT is only what you GET when your political MASTERS happen to desire that outcome for themselves.

If you believe the wishes of a majority- regardless of how large a majority- will be respected- you are delusional and boy do I have a great deal going for you!- just sent the money- cash, not cheques to...

FFS- get out of the two-horse mentality and back some of the others in the field. The two favorites aren't fit for dog tucker!

They don't believe in those picking up the tab having a say here either!

Friday, August 28, 2009

Manly Machinery from Medders in Time- one of a series

There is a video here for those interested in such manly pastimes as reducing native forests to carbon dioxide.

It should work on greenies too- well- one could try!


I have just returned from luck at Featherton's latest cafe, Sass.

Those familiar with featherston will recognise this as the latest incarnation of Lady Featherston/Rapa Cafe.

The old owners have gone- it was a family affair since opening- but the good food remains.

The menu has been simplified, the clutter removed but the family room and kids play area out back remains.

I had the BIG breakfast - as you do. Bacon, sausages, black pudding, mushrooms, tomatoes, fried potatoes toast and two eggs for $18.50. (in deference to the Aitkins diet, I gave the spud away!)

Service was prompt and friendly and the coffee to my liking- strong!

If they continue as they have started, they will do well.

I will be back!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

In the dogbox

I can't see what the fuss over putting convicted criminals into shipping containers is!

Hell, I used to live in worse during my time in the army. It was a common joke of the time that our barracks would be considered unfit for theives, rapists and murderers. For large parts of the year we worked and lived under canvas. A shipping container with a bed would have been way better than senior officers got!

Our criminal classes AND their lovers should consider themselves VERY lucky not to be living in tents on the Auckland islands!

If I had my way...

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Dead Kennedys

Best kind!

Fuck you, New Zealand!


It's enough to make you vote Libertarianz!

(I hope!)

Country stuff

For Busted Blonde

SOUTH Wairarapa is cow country, by the way...

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Well done Wairarapa

Final Result by Electorate for the Citizens Initiated Referendum 2009 on the question
"Should a smack as part of good parental correction be a criminal offence in New Zealand?"
25 August 2009

Wairarapa results:

62.65% Turnout

90.79%- NO

8.6%- Yes

Roll on the summer

With my second laptop now working, I can now move out of the lounge- once the rest of the house warms up. Hopefully the wireless network will operate out in the garage.

Away from the goddamned noisy-box and the gibbering classes that worship it!

Encourgaed by favourable comments on my first book, I want to get on with writing the next one down- I have about 1/3 typed up, another third in my head and the story outline of the rest in a couple of exercise books.

The next one is the back story on the first (actually two books rolled into one) and as happens in time travel- is set in the 35th century. This one is space opera in the finest traditions of the old masters!

It was to be called 'Catspaw', but on doing a little research I found that this was used as the name of an old Star Trek episode!- so it's now 'Meddlers in Time- Catspaw'

This follows the adventures of the lead characters of Meddlers in Time through the 35th century, as they infiltrate the ranks of an intersteller empire to carry out a deep cover secret mission.

My mission is to redefine space combat in a novel!

You heard it first here!

Meddlers in Time

Hit 125 first chapter downloads at last count!

We have to hit 549 to get first place in the Science Fiction section- it took them 18 months to get that many hits and we have gotten to 125 in nine days totally blitzing the rest of the competition!

Now we need comments. You will have to log onto the site, which I know is a bloody inconvenience, but I will greatly appreciate you taking the time to do so and just leave a one- liner!

Ebooks are the way of the future, even if you are like me and prefer paper- they will be the media of the next decade. This is one way for the owner of a small apartment- or the traveller- to have a library when they have no space.

Then there is the greenie aspect-- not that this was a consideration for me. Save a frickin' tree!


Come on- 250-300 clicks a day here- I only have 131 on the book website!

Download the friggin' free chapter!

You don't need a friggin' credit card for that!

And if you are too broken-arsed or just plain don't want a credit card- drop me a line and we can trade for a copy of the book!


There are about 630 books available on this site.

Meddlers in Time is now #2 in the Science fiction section and #18 overall!

Thats in twelve days.

Thanks again to all those who have brought one, downloaded the teaser or posted a comment!

I can rant on and on about the story (I will!), but the best publicity comes from the favorable report of others!

I bet there are a lot of folks out there now wishing they had been nicer to Peter Jackson in his early days!


Monday, August 24, 2009

What an opportunity lost for the Nats

With an 88% backing, a great opportunity was lost to score some serious points.

You stand up in public and state "Now that you have spoken, we understand the true extent of your feelings on this isssue and we will move to repeal this law immediatly."

But no, you screwed the pooch YET again...


"...ACT leader Rodney Hide had threatened to quit as Local Government Minister if seats had been reserved for Maori.

The move will leave the Maori Party disappointed as they had lobbied hard for some form of elected Maori representation on the council..."

Here is an idea right out of the box.

Get yourself elected. Democracy 101

Convince others to vote for you by deeds and action.

Dead easy. Or not...

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Cue Nelson Muntz voice

Hat Tip: Something should go here, maybe later

We don't trust YOU or your apparatus

"Prime Minister John Key told the Sunday Star-Times in Sydney yesterday he was planning to introduce "increased safeguards" to prevent parents who gave their children "minor" or "inconsequential" smacks from being either investigated or prosecuted..."

NO- not good enough. Change the law.


We don't trust politicians- we don't trust government agencies and we don't trust the legal system. (note I don't refer to it as the Justice sysytem- it ain't)

It's far to easy to suddenly shift 'discretionary' guidelines. Like with our idiotic speed limit tax gathering rort.

and as for this:

"Deborah Morris-Travers, spokeswoman for the "Yes Vote" coalition, said photographs in newspapers yesterday of no-supporters celebrating were offensive."

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!

Working bees and moving big stuff

I was at a club working bee yesterday. One task was to move some VERY heavy power poles to an area where we couldn't get a vehicle into.

I came up with the idea of using some fenceposts as rollers and we used a sling around the pole to drag it by hand. It only took two of us to drag one of these poles- the chap that supplied them said they were about 500kg each.

Quite amazing how easy it was to move them across country!

Another no news bit of news

"Movie mogul Peter Jackson says he is driven by fears that one of his mega-productions will be a flop..."

You will never get to the level Peter Jackson is with a 'she'll be right' attitude.

You HAVE to be driven and strive to get everything within your control just right- or you are just another wanker turning out art-house crap and living on grants. Or in NZ television.

We need more of this.

People who strive to get it right ALL the time- in whatever they do.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Just friggin' do it!

A goverment is elected in with a mandate to carry out actions previously stated in their mainfesto.

If they need clarification on an issue- a referendum is or should be called for.

The referendum sends a clear message- repeal a badly thought out and unpopular law.

So just figggin' do it!

You don't have to like it- just suck it up and repeal it. You asked- you were told VERY CLEARLY.

The mood out there that I hear is not unlike that before the last election. Lifelong party supporters are on the brink of going elsewhere. Last time it was from labour to national.

This time it is from national to act.

You have been warned...

Friday, August 21, 2009

Sod off Noddy!

The results are in with a resounding NO!

87.6% of 1,622,150 say that a SMACK should not be illegal as a part of parental discipline.

No suprises there.

Now watch the spin...

Silly first name syndrome

"Police have named a three-year-old girl who died after being found injured at a Palmerston North house on Wednesday.

She was Kash McKinnon..."

Silly first name syndrome strikes again, as no doubt Whaleoil will be pointing out.

He is not the only one who had noticed this phenomenon...




Thursday, August 20, 2009

This prick needs his guts stomped out

"The man who twice shone a green laser into the cockpit of a plane as it approached Wellington Airport has been sentenced to 200 hours' community work for causing unnecessary danger to the flight.

Helpdesk worker Vladimir Maricic, 25, was sentenced in Wellington District Court today..."

I had to go and buy one of these lasers before they get 'taken of the market' AKA banned.

I was playing around with lasers when the rest of the world thought they were still science fiction. Never got the inclination to shine one at any type of vehicle, having had one hit me in the eyes (the whole world turned red)

I would have sentenced that fucker to a thousand hours of scrubbing aircraft crappers . And another thousand washing aircrews underwear by hand to appreciate the effect the laser has.

Gun Maintenance tips

Never take a fricking Winchester model 1892 bastard clone completely apart, unless you like those sort of feckin' mechanical puzzles!

Especially don't do it when you have a dud hand and dodgy eyesight!

And it's a really bad idea after using whiskey for cough medicine...

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

A new venture

I have devised a new fertility treatment plan.

It was quite easy, really. I simply had to study the lifestyle of our most prolific breeders.

So forget IVF, vitamins and all that nonsense- here is my ten-point plan:

  1. Quit work- too much stress.
  2. Start smoking and drinking heavily- a few drugs won't hurt, either.
  3. Wear larger clothing- the Warehouse have tracksuits in marque sizes.
  4. The three food groups- Fish & Chips, McD's and KFC.
  5. Men-increase testosterone by reeneacting the 'Cook the eggs' scene from 'Once were Warriors'
  6. Women- improve your chances- make yourself available.
  7. Exercise- move the beer fridge into the garage.
  8. Vitamin P- your doctor will know what you mean.
  9. Eliminate rational thought.
  10. Learn not to care about anything- More Vitamin P will help!
Hell, it really seems to work!


Another two downloads and I break the 100 barrier!

Only a week and Meddlers in Time is the #2 Science fiction listing!

Thanks to everyone that has downloaded the free chapter- and especially to those who brought a copy!

Only 10 more to go at that price- but it's still dirt cheap!

Now I need a few comments posted here!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

One of life's funny coincidences

Why is it that when I soak up a few glasses of good Aussie red (after a lengthy period of abstinence) to celebrate an event- that the next day I get stuck on one of those jobs that involves having to bash large metal pipes with a big hammer?

If I knew the answer to this, I would have a far better understanding of the universe...

So the Crown is barking mad too!

"The Crown has confirmed it will not appeal the sentences of five people over a makutu or curse-lifting ceremony in Wainuiomata in 2007..."

Profanity is all too weak...

Monday, August 17, 2009


Get your tounge out of Liarbours arse

"...Adding to Labour's woes, the far-right British National Party won its first seat in the European Parliament..."

Oh, fuck off!- the BNP far right!

They would have been the labour party 40 years ago.

Which is to say slightly to the right of the NZ NAtional party today.

Apart from the fact that they don't like IMPORTED darkies!



So- my dear readers...

Do you want to be flung out of the number seven airlock?

or tell me how good my poetry is.

I'm going to put a hyperspace bypass through this fucking rock after the next book anyway, but it's your filthy lungs...

What is this all about?

You can EARN a copy of Meddlers in Time by doing me a review on your prominant website.

Or shamelessly link-whoring me on a prominant website anywhere if you ain't in the top 100 NZ blogs!

No- I don't think so

Buy your own frickin' boat!

As for John 'I'm really getting the hang of spending other chumps money' Key- Message reads:

Tonga is NOT New Zealand- so don't spend the NZ taxpayers friggin' money there!

Let them sort their own shit out.

You bastard.


Sunday, August 16, 2009

The begging bowl is out

OK- this is how it works. Publishers go looking through this site for promising material- so, to be noticed I need downloads!

But don't panic- just downloading the FREE chapter counts and gets me noticed.

SO do me a BIG favour and download the freebee here.

No Paypal, no credit cards!

Come on- I get 250 odd hits on this site each day. If all of you click the free download ONCE you will make a huge impact!

Well done! 63 downloads of the free chapter and four sales- a most promising start.

Please drop in and click if you haven't done so already and you will have my gratitude!

I need more!

I am insatiable!

Please Sir- can I have some more!

Sunday puzzle

Now the question is:

Why did this picture (Hat Tip- Theo Spark) appeal to me right now?

Looks like they shot the rabid chimp.

Battery hens

I actually pity these people.

The opportunity of a lifetime and they don't know what to do with it.

Thet remind me of battery hens released into a real chook run, cowering in a corner- scared of the big sky!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Experts- what do they know?

A very timely link for me to find!

Bloody skate parks- AKA shit magnets

The ratepayer funded fiasco has been open for a week now.

On my way past this morning, it looked like somebody had thrown a stick of powergel into a wastetaker. Hardly suprising as every feral bastard yoof in town was 'hanging out' there on Friday night.

I have been told that the council's contractors have been down there cleaning up every morning so far and yes- there is a large rubbish bin provided. Knowing a bit about such matters, this will be over and above the maintenance contract. I would guess that the minimum time to get a man on site, clean up and return to his depot to dump the rubbish would be one hour. More if there is broken glass, spew or other biohazards to clean up.

The chargeout rate is around the $33 dollar/hour mark for a labourer with ute.

This equates to an extra $12,000 per annum minimum on the poor bloody taxpayers just for the rubbish removal.

Fence the damned thing if we must have it and sell tickets- make it pay.

And the bloody do-gooders that wanted it can man the gates and de-puke it!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Friggin' unbelievable!

"The five siblings from a Wainuiomata family found guilty of the manslaughter of their niece, who they believed was cursed by a makutu, have escaped prison terms..."

Friggin' unbelievable!

They TORTURED sombody to death and get community service!- but that s OK because there are conditions- "...conditions of which include taking a tikanga Maori or other suitable cultural programme..."

The only conditions that need to be sorted are their mental conditions- these fuckers are all barking mad!

I'm now waiting for the news that the coroner recommends the banning of concrete garden ornaments in the shape of Lions...


I should have mentioned that I also consider the Judge to be barking mad. But you probably ame to that conclusion having read what i had already written...

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Darwin scores one and a near miss

One cretin probably toast

This one should be. Rescued twice now...

The way of the future

An unsolicited plug for Bookhabit- a NZ website.

Brought a novel lately? They ain't cheap, even second-hand.

It's not like the days of my youth, when I would go into town on a Friday and come home with a bag full of books.

I still have many of them- I admit to just plain having a thing for paper copy- I prefer reading from real books.

But along the way I brought a lot of lemons.

Now there are ebooks- for only a couple of dollars through PayPal, I can try more new material than otherwise.

Hell, the US $2.50 would hardly pay for the petrol to get to a library!

And there is the matter of Bookhabit giving wannabes like myself a chance!- Which is very much appreciated. I can decide if it is worth paying (about a grand) to get a professional print run done.

Think of buying a download as a tip for the years of entertainment here ;-)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Sleeping with Spongebob

"Even without the survey, I can tell you that the ship was not in good condition," he said.

The ferry was missing marks which showed how low in the water a ship could ride, and not having them breached international maritime conventions..."

OK, I don't know a lot about marine surveys, but a plimsoll line is a real basic. It has been around for a long time.

No doubt they will be after NZ and Aussie money to buy themselves a new one- to which I say- relearn the art of paddling.

Your corrupt and useless rulers couldn't run a bloody jumble sale.

No Taxpayers were harmed

Absolutely no taxpayers money went into my book. (nor anybody other than myself, for that matter)

No grants private or public were recieved or applied for.

Actually, I was quite pissed that taxpayer funds could be used for this purpose!

I will sink or swim on my own, thank you!

(probably the former)

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Coming to a theatre near you


is specifically designed

to be implanted in the forehead of Islamic terrorists.

When properly installed it will allow the implantee to speak direct to their God.

It comes in various sizes:

The exact size of the implant will be selected by a well-trained and highly-skilled British technician to the following exacting standard.
The implant may or may not be painless.
Side effects, like headaches and nausea, are temporary.
Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site.

Please enjoy the security we provide for you.
With best regards,

Royal Marine Commandos

Monday, August 10, 2009

They will regret this

"Smooth, tight and free-flowing, like the sport it is designed to accommodate, Featherston's $150,000 skatepark was quietly finished on Saturday..."

Just what the town needed- a shit magnet.

Some of us have been dead against this waste of ratepayers money, of course the pro movement have done the usual of accusing us of negativity and being 'down on the kids'

Time will tell but history provides a good indication of things to come.

History tells me that they might as well have a permanent car park for police and ambulance outside and that those who sweep the street will be there daily to sweep up the broken glass. It is convienently near the medical center- which is busy enough without the extra trade this will bring.

Somehow my generation managed to amuse ourselves without ratepayer funded abrasion pits like this...

Well, that's done

Following the words of The Master- time to get cracking with the next on- now that I have gotten over the hardest- rule four! (submit the frickin' thing!)

I have about 60k words down, plus a couple of exercise books full of notes, so I'm well on the way.

All I need is time...

Sunday, August 09, 2009


After 5 years of editing, chopping and changing, reformatting, combining two books into one, recycling as firelighters and a heap of procrastinaton:

Meddlers in Time is available as an e-book here for the princely sum of US$2.50

(A dead-tree version in in the pipeline)

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Those damned pigeons again!

I'm calling the exterminator on this flock!

Raising funds (after deducting a hefty proportion for expenses) for 'shoes, raincoats and food to students' who SHOULD be having these paid for by the feckless genetic propogators that spawned them. Most of whom are 'raising' their meal/ticket children at OUR expense.

They will be thinking 'more money for the booze/fags/pokies/TAB/Lotto/ KFC. I know for a FACT that this is how deadbeats react to the news of yet another givaway.

But you might say- no- they would never have thought to provide these basics in the first instance.

I'm thinking that there will be a glut of new kids shoes and jackets on trademe in the near future. If the deadbeats aren't capable of the intricacies of on-line trading, some other opportunist middle-man will be.

Fags for jackets, anyone?

I'm probably preachin to the choir here, but keep your money in your pocket and DON'T FEED THE PIGEONS!

We all know what pigeons do when you feed them!

Breed more pigeons to fly about crapping on you and your own...

There are a few others playing the same tune!

Friday, August 07, 2009

Quote of the week

"When the Labour Party says things, my experience is they're not true."- Rodney Hide

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Sod off and die

"Kiwi men are not doing enough around the house to win over their wives and partners, new research suggests, but we are still doing better than our transtasman cousins..."

I'm not out to win a frickin' prize.

I earn almost all of the household money, thus the wife does most of the housework.

That's called an equitable division of labour- actually- given that I work 60+ hours a week- who do you think would get the better deal?

Shut up- the adults are talking

"Prime Minister John Key has told Whale Rider star Keisha Castle-Hughes to "stick to the acting" over her stance on climate change..."


It makes we sick when politicians pander to the opinions of mindless actors.

It's bad enough that ANYONE listens to them off-screen. They are merely mimics- puppets under the control of a director. About as capable of original thought as the drones they perform for.

I'm pleased to see John Key tell a silly little girl to stick to what she does. We need a LOT more of that!

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Bullshitting schoolteacher

"...Last Thursday the Uruti School principal failed a roadside breath test after it was presented to her by an unimpressed police officer.

But despite sitting in a car that "smelled like a brewery" Mrs Sutherland hadn't drunk a drop instead she had just rubbed a 65 per cent ethyl alcohol hand sanitiser on herself and her licence.

"I wound down the window and the smell must have hit him in the face. The stuff smells like a big gin," she said..."

Yes, I know this game.

I saw it working in prison all the time.

It's called wind up the screw/cop. Do something supicious then play the innocent. In this case, spread a gel full of alcohol about when pulled over by the cops.

She has to be incredibly stupid to think they would not react to a strong smell of alcohol- a smell she openly admits to knowing about.

It's not beyond the bounds of belief the a senior schoolteacher would know that this action could set of an screening device.

It's probably too much to expect that she knew influenza is droplet-infectious and not particularly spread by contact- such as handing over a plastic license.

So I'm calling 'bullshit' on this one- she is no poor victim.

Just a friggin' smart-arse who SHOULD know better...

Official- there IS corruption in NZ politics!

"Field, former Mangere MP, was found guilty of 11 of 12 charges of bribery and corruption as an MP over having Thai nationals carry out work on his properties in return for immigration assistance between November 2002 and October 2005.

He was also found guilty of 15 of 23 charges of wilfully attempting to obstruct or pervert the course of justice, alleging he tried to derail investigations into the work on his homes..."


Go directly to jail

Do not pass go.

Do not collect any graft.

And now there is no 'Get out of jail free' card

Sunday, August 02, 2009

More dribble from the hand-wringers

"New Zealand stands accused of "war crimes" for handing over prisoners who were mistreated by the American military during George W Bush's so-called war against terror in Afghanistan.

International legal experts say New Zealand broke the Geneva Convention and laws against torture when, from 2002, our elite SAS troops transferred 50-70 prisoners to the Americans at the Kandahar detention centre in southern Afghanistan..."

Piss off!

For conventions to work, BOTH SIDES have to adhere to them.

So a few rag-heads get bitch-slapped.

THEIR favorite sport is to spread your intestines over a thorn bush. An interesting way to die by all accounts.

Something a few international legal experts need to experience...

Saturday, August 01, 2009