Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Who's paying the bills meathead?

This one seems to have been produced with Fiji or the Wairarapa in mind. Getting a tradesman to commit to a day and time is like getting a 19 year-old lad to commit to a wedding date!

"Sometime in the next couple of days" seems to be the most precise timeframe on offer.

Returning a phone call is something out of a Tui ad...

It's a double bastard when you are not the one with the authority to tell them 'go stuff it' and in any case, you know the opposition is no better.

It's the old thing of never admitting you are too busy to do the job this week, least the customer goes elsewhere. - News flash- He's going to do that when you keep friggin' lying to him!

I know one plumbing firm that takes these lessons to heart and actually communicates with customers, advises of delays, gets the workers there ASAP and on time and has someone in the office to take calls and answer questions.

Is it a co-incidence that the owner is continually expanding the business?

Monday, May 29, 2006

Why Bubbles had to go...

"...Researchers who picked up and analysed wild chimp droppings said on Thursday they had shown how the AIDS virus originated in wild apes in Cameroon and then spread in humans across Africa and eventually the world..."


The researchers have been speculating as to how the virus crossed ans seem to think eating contaminated meat or being bitten by a chimp.

In the interests of good taste they have failed to mention one other method of transmission.

Someone shagged an ape...

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Unbundling, Nationalizing- THEFT by another name.

Time for me to (belatedly) make my postion known.

I don't care much for Telecom- I don't care much for some of the people in the street, either- but theft from any of them is still wrong.

The confiscation, nationalisation or unbundling- call it what you will- is even more contemtable when it is done using the full powers of the sstate. It could not be compared with a fine or penalty, as telecom has committed no crime nor has it been convicted in the courts- the only time the state should have the power to seize assets.

Those who are clamouring for the benefits of this confiscation should not be called theives, themselves.

They are the moral equal of the guy down at the pub who happily buys a $200 plasma screen TV. They would never steal themselves, but are happy to benefit from the actions of the thief!

They are the ones who enable the thief to live by his dishonesty. They may not like the thief, but only encourage his stealing the property of others.

Friday, May 26, 2006

On the subject of Lawyers...

The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer.

"I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity."

The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.

A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.
"That's unfair !" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."
"Shut up!" barked the devil, jabbing him with his pitchfork. "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"

A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asked, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?"
"No," the coroner replied.

The attorney then asked, "Did you listen for a heart beat?"

The coroner said, "No."

"Did you check for breathing?", asked the attorney.

Again the coroner replied, "No."

The attorney asked, "So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?"

The coroner, now tired of the brow beating said, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."

The sorts of people that piss me off...

Those that like to make comments like "... I'm too busy to think about what people might think of her image. I think if I worried about that I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning."

Then set their lawyers onto you for blogging harshly about them.

I think someone has a future in politics...

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Unarmed & dangerous

From the files of the strange, rare and peculiar! Now I have often heard about driving while legless, but this!

I prefer to be armed at all times...

Armless man denies dangerous driving

12.35pm Thursday May 25, 2006

An armless Tauranga motorist allegedly caught travelling at 121km/h while using his feet to control the car has pleaded not guilty to a charge of dangerous driving


Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Naenae again?

You know you're living too close to [insert town of choice] when:

1. You let your 12 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table, in front of her children.
2. You've been married three times, and still have the same in-laws.
3. You think that a woman is "out of your league" because she asks for a glass with her "Tui"
4. The phrase "Yeah - Right!" reminds you that the off-sales are open.
5. You wish your toilet at home could be as clean as the one at the pub.
6. Anyone in your family has died right after saying "Hey, watch this!"
7. You think Dom Perignon is an American Mafia boss.
8. A ceiling fan once ruined your wife's hairdo.
9. Your local school has a students' crèche.
10. One or more of your kids, was born on a pub pool table.
11. One or more of your kids, was conceived on a pub pool table.
12. Your back door wood bunker is ideal for the Pit-Bull to raise its pups.
13. The trade-in value of your old Falcon goes up and down depending on how much fuel is in the tank.
14. You don't have to leave the house to put rubbish in the Wheelie bin.
15. You once lit a match in the toilet and the windows blew out.
16. You only need one more stamp on your card to get a freebie at "Tam's Tattoos".
17. You can't get married to your childhood sweetheart because of the current bestiality laws. 18. You think "loading the dishwasher" means giving your wife the clap.
19. Your toilet paper has page numbers.
20. The soundtrack on your wedding video ends with the loudhailer message: "THIS IS THE POLICE..........."

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Another meathead for the Darwin Awards

As someone who has gone through all the rigmarole to legally own pistols, I have no sympathy for this wannabe, who has shot himelf through the head accidentally! Good friggin' riddance!

These CRIMINALS who own illicit firearms stuff things up for the many thousands of law-abiding firearms users in NZ, indeed- worldwide.

"Detective Inspector Mike Arnerich said the investigation had centred on the forensic evidence from the crime scene, post mortem, witnesses and confidential information from criminals.
He said: "We are satisfied that Mr Hogg shot himself. Although he was confident with firearms, he did not have a very good operational knowledge of them and he thought the 9mm Browning semi-automatic pistol was unloaded, when in fact it was not."

Should have stuck to softball BB guns, then.


Never mind 'Wanker of the Week'- this is the real deal!

Let's here your suggestions for person most improved by a long drop on a short rope!

My nomination for this week is: This sack of shit.

Monday, May 22, 2006


I'm a great fan of Vargas Girls! i may not know much about art, but I know what I like!

You can keep the porn in today's glossy magazines. If doesn't stack up against the drawings that have stood the test of time. Class- not arse!

This blog has a new one most days.

This looks like a winner idea!

I was thinking of Not PC's piece on urban sprawl here when I read this:

Innovative subdivision for Weraiti


One of the largest and most innovative subdivisions ever to appear in Wairarapa is about to be launched for public submission.

It'll be for people who want all the joy of living in the country, without all the commitment of land control.

Adopting a new concept in land development and unique to this region, the farm park subdivision takes in 74 hectares of undulating farmland atop the Weraiti hill, east of Masterton, commanding stunning 360 degree views of hill country and the valley floor to the Tararuas.
The big difference between this and other rural subdivisions is that the proposed 54 housing sites are all around only half a hectare each, with the surrounding farmland grazed by a farmer, all managed by a body corporate.

More: Here

Sounds like a great idea- A lot here are buying 'lifestyle blocks' but are finding them too hard to look after properly. Here you get the best of both worlds.

Now let's wait for the great NZ clobbering machine A.K.A. the RMA to swing into action...

Saturday, May 20, 2006

A Rude and Amusing Vegetable

No- it really is a rude and amusing vegetable! (This is all I had time to post today)

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Better harden up...

"The police drive to encourage 1000 extra people start a career in the force got off to a bad start on the weekend when one interested Christchurch man was told by a recruitment officers his scarf was too "gay".
Simon Calcinai, aged 20, was at the Careers Expo at the Westpac Centre in Christchurch on Sunday when two uniformed officers told him the scarf he was wearing was "a bit too gay", The Press reported today."


I would suggest that anyone offended by that is not going to pass muster as a cop. They are sure going to get called a lot worse and won't be getting an apology either!

Better check out the hairdresser's stand at the next careers expo...

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

One rule for the peasents, one for the rulers...

"The Court of Appeal has dismissed a lawsuit over the Auckland RSA killings. Sole survivor Susan Couch and Tai Hobson, whose wife died in the 2001 attack, sued the Department of Corrections for $2.5 million. They blame the department for allowing killer William Bell to work as a barman at the RSA while on probation. "


Continuing with the trend of total failure to accept any form of responsibility, this case has been chucked out. As if it ever had a chance of success!
Of course, if a builder stacks something wrong which falls on someone or an electrician hooks up the wrong wire- the full power of the SState descends upon them, with great wrath and vengence.

How screwed up is that?


Actually, I'm not quite correct in saying the SState won't compensate someone for their employee's screw-ups. Provided they are a prison inmate at the time, they will be compensated for 'suffering'

New feature

I now have a 'Recent Comments' field on my sidebar, courtesy of Kiwi Bloke at Gen X-Y

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Lies, Utter Bullshit and Government Press Releases

Whop-de-do! The govamint are to recruit 1000 police.

What will the net gain be after retirement and the usual number telling their employer to get stuffed?

An number very close to, if not actually, zero.

I'm sure there are many out there that would love to be a cop and even be happy with the shit money it pays. Unfortunatly, a great many of the wannabes wouldn't be fit to be town dogcatcher.

The sort of person with the intelligence , common sense and self-discipline to be a good policeman is the sort of person in great demand for many other positions.

Why would they want to work in a thankless, poorly paid job for a backstabbing snake-in-the-grass employer?

Buggered if I know!

I'm just glad some of them do!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Reality Check

Young Workers Want Inspiration

NewstalkZBA survey reveals young workers will move on if their manager is not dynamic enough

Spokeswoman Kim Smith says the main reason the group leaves jobs is because they want to work for a manager who is inspirational. She says they want a boss who can lead and motivate them, as well as being a trainer and mentor. Low pay is another reason for quitting.


Here is a reality check, younglings.

On entering the workplace you WILL get all the shit jobs, you WILL do all the scut-work, You WILL be paid less.

That's because you are worth less than a more seasoned worker. Get over it.

Get the crap you picked up in school out of your head. You ain't someone special, just another wage slave. You ARE expected to deliver and deliver more than a 'completed' on your tasks. You won't be the CEO or even senior management anytime soon (I'm not counting duty manager at McD's here!) You will find respect is earned, not a due.

Get that sorted and you can start moving somewhere.

To those with kids about to leave high school, I recommend a year in some scut work, such as fast food, labouring or process worker. THEN go to university, having learnt a few lesson at the school of hard knocks.

They will find Uni a lot more of a cruise and will accept being at the bottom of the food chain on graduating with more grace.

Remember-all generals start out as a pimply second lieutenant!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Human Rights Wankers

"Police should not be trusted with taser stun guns in light of recent controversy over possible abuses of pepper spray, human rights groups say. "

More moonbat dribble here:

What can I say but FUCK YOU!

These twats cry when some thug get a dose of 9mm poisoning, but don't want any options harsher than a stern talking-to available!

It's so easy to be critical and judge all police work on the odd excess that occurs. Try facing down drunk and aggro creeps daily for a living. Try dealing with the scum of the earth at their worst. Now and then some cops lose the plot- it's no wonder. When they get caught, they get punished. You might thing such things are covered up- they are- from the public. That doen't mean a cop who screws up gets off- they come down real hard on their own. Behind closed doors if at all possible.

But never forget they are all that keeps these scumbags from running totally amok and invading you comfortable towm house and stealing, raping and beating at will.

I would love some for these bleeding hearts to do some prison time. Not the holiday camp wings in minumum, but somewhere real scummy like most of the high medium and maxi wings. Where scribble-faces will make free with your posessions and orifices.

They would be wanting the Tasers replace with shotguns...

Here's one for Lindsay!

The teacher asks for a show of hands from those who could use the word "lovely" in the same sentence twice. Little Johnny, sitting in back, waves his arm frantically. The teacher ignores him.

She calls on little Suzie, who said, "My father bought my mother a lovely dress and she looked lovely in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.

Next was little Michael. "My mummys an artist, and she painted a lovely painting of a lovely model" The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!"

Then, she reluctantly called on little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Lovely, thats just f*cking lovely!"

Friday, May 12, 2006

I can last for some months on a single compliment...

When I recently off on ACC for some time, I worked (unpaid) for a number of community groups.

I always figured, if you were not working, this is the sort of thing you should do- besides that, I like to keep busy.

One of my jobs was random task person for the local playcentre. I put up shelves, quake-proofed, fixed toys, mowed lawns and so on, for about six hours a week. I popped in today, being on afternoon shifts and they presented me with a certificate and gift voucher for my work!

That's more thanks than I have got in many a job I have had.

At the risk of sounding a bit corny, I feel that if the community is paying you, you should do what you can to repay them.

It's more rewarding than sitting on your arse watching SKY...

Thursday, May 11, 2006

That'll Work!

Here's an idea for Ray Springer.

(Hat Tip to Lindsay)

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Womans refuges in trouble

Here is another slant on the problem.

How about some of those women taking some responsibility for getting themselves in the prediciment they find themselves in? Sometimes personalities change the moment you move in- hell, I've found that out the hard way! But this is more the exception to the rule.

A hell of a lot of them need to start using the grey matter before moving in with some worthless POS.
Most of the time anyone with one eye opened and a couple of brain cells rattling around in the cranium could spot a lowlife not far enough up the evolutionary ladder to bring up a hairball, much less a family. Isn't the substance abuse, history of violence and the fact that he has been in and out of prison enough? How about the other abandoned offspring?

These are hogging the places of those deserving a place through no fault of their own.

Moving in with a lowfire with form knowingly- you get as much as you deserve.

That's not a popular point to make, but is true, neverless.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Dancing with the Stars

Another reason I hardly watch TV!

Not being on some kind of benefit, I can't afford Sky (do WINZ 'clients' get a discount?)

I don't give a rat's about who is on it of why they feel the need. The real question is- who would want to watch such a big bag of baboon's bollocks?

Have women descended so far they can't read Mills & Boone?

As for any 'Man' that would watch such things- He deserves what Sodom & the other place got!

I bet it's popular in Naenae!

Saturday, May 06, 2006

A new element discovered!

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium".
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take over four days to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration! This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

It is also interesting to note that when catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium- an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Source unknown

Naenae- a state funded shithole!

Lindsay doesn't like Naenae. I don't like it either!

It's a squalid, nasty place, as you so often get when there is a cluster of state houses. The row along the railway line are notorious for using the rail corridor as a rubbish dump, so much so that an excavator and trucks are regularly needed to clean this strip out. It's quite a site to see the rats bailing out of the trucks!

To look at the buildings, it would seem that sales of spray paint cans exceed sales of personal hygiene products and that roller doors are the most popular sort of shop frontage.

The main exports are prison inmates, dole bludgers and DPB spongers (note that I differentiate them from those who have a taxpayer-funded income for temporary support) The main employers are WINZ, CYPS, TAB and the Naenae hotel.

A six-metre chain-link fence around the perimeter would be an improvement and would make for a view such as is found in places like Rimutaka prison- the inhabitants should be quite familiar with this!

It's even worse than Masterton!

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Addictions are for the spineless.

I've seen more than a few people, whom I would not consider particularly strong-willed, in general, beat addictions.

I've also seen some strong willed folk totally fail to do the same.

If you really want to you can get off the booze, smack or fags- It's down to the individual and what they want. If you want to stop a habit, it can be done- it isn't impossible. Hard- for sure, but not impossible.

My mother stopped smoking in her late fifties and hasn't lit up in over seven years now. My wife's great-grandmother gave it away at ninety (she thought she was getting a bit old for 'that sort of thing'!)

People with a lifetime of addiction- they just stopped- because they wanted to. Not because some wanker nanny-state enthusiast said they should or because they read the pathetic bloody warnings on the packs!

If someone says they wanted to quit but couldn't- I say they don't want to quit bad enough!

That is entirely their problem.

As for the tobacco companies flogging a product that kills people if used correctly- they would be out of business in very short order if people stopped buying the bloody product!

Nanny state loves to legislate against all it percieves as bad for us stupid citizens that can't/won't look after itself. Why not tobacco?

If you don't know the answer to that question- I have the deal of a lifetime for you!- just send cash to....

Warning- Warning- Danger Will Robinson!

Tsunami warning for Fiji, New Zealand03/05/2006 18:38 - (SA)

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Los Angeles - A massive earthquake with a magnitude of 8.0 rocked Tonga in the Pacific early on Thursday - US monitors issued a tsunami warning for New Zealand and Fiji.
The US Geological Survey said a "great" quake struck at 4:26 am local time (15:26 GMT) in the middle of the islands that make up Tonga. Eight is the highest level on its measuring scale.
The Hawaii-based Pacific Tsunami Warning Center called on New Zealand and Fiji to take immediate action against a possible giant wave caused by the quake.
The epicenter was 155km south of Neiafu island and 160km northeast of Nuku'Alofa, the main island, the USGS said.
The quake was recorded 16km below the Earth's surface.
"We have a tsumani warning for Fiji and New Zealand and for the rest of the Pacific we have a tsumani watch," said Pacific Tsunami Warning Center oceanograher Nathan Becker.
"That means a tsunami is likely and New Zealand and Fiji should take the appropriate action," he told AFP.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Tough Shit!

There is disappointment over a judge's decision not to award compensation to the family of smoker Janice Pou.,,11964-5727412,00.html

Here is a win for common sense and personal responsibility- something not seen all that often in NZ.

If you choose to smoke- accept that you will probably suffer health problems and earlier death as a result. End of friggin' story!

You have nobody to blame but yourself.

I might have a bit of sympathy for those who acquired the habit in the battlefields of WW2, otherwise, sympathy is to be found in the dictionary between 'Shit' and 'Syphillis'

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

And the point is...

Former top brass at Television New Zealand labelled MPs "bastards" and the "enemy", and described Parliament's select committee process as "useless" and "toxic".,2106,3654111a10,00.html

In one email, Mr Boyce says the inquiry hearing will be "bloody" and refers to MPs on the committee saying "these bastards are our enemy".
He talks about being "devastated" when he saw who the committee wanted to hear from.
He also refers to the select committee as "the circus" and says TVNZ is "just a plaything for the politicians".

Ok, so they have stated what a hell of a lot of us also say- especially-"The bastards are our enemy."

Not so much 'News' as 'Olds'

The public service is supposed to be 'politically neutral'. If it's OK for most of them to have their tongues firmly lodged up Liarbour's arse, it must be OK for others to despise them- that's called 'Balance' ...

lesson for today