Saturday, September 29, 2007

The Warehouse, the Warehouse- where everyone gets a Chinese puzzle!

Today I brought a new barbeque. The wife has a theory that if everything is cooked outside, the kitchen won't need as much cleaning.

That sounded fair enough, so I brought one of these new-fangled gas flame-pits (not that any such thing will ever REPLACE my Weber!) Of course it came in pieces- and they all do this- not just the Red Shed.

As with everything needing assembling, I anticipated trouble and was not dissappointed. Having done all this before I gathered sufficent tools to strip a small aircraft and began to study the Chenglish instructions. This was not helped by my failing eyesight and the 1-point print.

Having divined the mystery, I started assembly with frequent exhortations to the son of the Creator.

Black screws, a black frame and a 23 year-old pair of glasses are not a happy combination. i might as well have been trying to piece the damned thing together down a coal mine at midnight! Like so many of these kits, the alignment of the parts had to be perfect or it wouldn't fit together.

At least it WOULD go together when all was aligned- unlike with other kits the drill, file or sledgehammer sat unused. Also, it had the correct parts- no more, no less. The screws & nuts in a blister pack was a great idea.

What I can't help but wonder is exactly how many of these kits sit in garages unassembled or partially so? I'm reasonably handy at this sort of thing, having spent a lifetime pulling stuff apart and putting it back together- usually in a working condition.

Not everybody out there can rebuild a teleprinter, so I wonder how they get on? Is there a future for a knock-down kit assembler? One who pops around discreetly when the wife is out so hubby doesn't have to be seen conceding defeat!


KG said...

Give up and give it to a 12 year-old is the go, Oswald.
If they can program mobile phones and DVD recorders, they should find a kitset a breeze!

Anonymous said...

Hey Oswald - I assembled one of those gas BBQs last October. My kids, and the neighbours come to think of it, learned more than a few new words that should not be used in polite company. Once I discovered that half the fiddly pieces were not in fact missing, but were already preassembled, life got a lot easier.

Enjoy the eating of seared flesh over the coming months.

Brian Smaller

Oswald Bastable said...

We are just about to consume vast quantities of charred mammal-flesh!

Anonymous said...

We don't care if you are a half a man who can't assemble it. What the hell are you doing buying Chinese junk Oz?

Oswald Bastable said...

I did friggin' assemble it- Im wondering how many can't.

Every bloody thing is made in China these days!

MathewK said...

You're right about that, heck some of the souvenirs here in Australia are made in China.

Anonymous said...

My one from the barbeque factory came assembled, IIRC. (Well, at most, I had to attach the gas box to the trolley)

sweetpea said...

I have often wondered if I should start a business assembling flat packs.

Anonymous said...

"Every bloody thing is made in China these days!"

I was in the supermarket today and had peanut butter on the list. Pak N Slave Lower Hutt did not have a single brand that was not made in China (Pams, Kraft, Sanitarium or Delish).

Brian Smaller

Anonymous said...

Aha! That could be why the kitchen mouse wont touch the stuff in the trap anymore despite rumours its irresistable. Back to Mainland cheese then. Expensive tastes this mouse.

Unknown said...

Good thing it wasn't shack n' slave Upper Hutt.

Its byo flack jacket.