Sunday, December 24, 2006

Mr Brain is not at home...

I have been often asked what I'm doing for Christmas, lately.

When I reply that I'm working, I have been getting all sorts of inane comments about how 'Nobody should have to work on Christmas Day!'

My usual reply to that is 'Can you get through the day without flushing the crapper once?"

How the hell do these morons think all the 'essential services' are provided? Do the friggin' Elves make electricity, supply water, and pump sewerage?

I hear the same nonsense about seven days of the week services. Plenty cry that people shouldn't have to work on weekends, but I notice these twits are quick to use the shops seven days of the week.

Yesterday I had to face the lunacy prevelant in NZ's shops & stores. Friggin' unbelievable! With the invention of the refrigerator and the deep freeze, I would have thought that most of us were free from the dangers of imminent starvation.

I mean, we may consume more than double the normal amount of calories for a couple of days, but why does that require at least three times the usual number of visits to the shops?

Lack of bloody organisation, I would have to guess!

Then we descend to the lowest level of The Pit-

The Warehouse- abandon hope all ye who enter here!

I missed (probably fortunatly) the big drama of the day, namely some woman hitting one of my kids, who had grabbed at her handbag (he's autistic and has a bit of a thing for handbags, knowing they contain such items as banannas and muesli bars)

The wife ripped her to peices in front of a huge crowd of onlookers in the best way one can- coldly, calmly and without hysterics- with just enough volume to ensure everyone in sight knows what is happening. Her husband apologised profusely- probably understanding the legal predicament his foolish wife had placed herself in! (something I would have been very quick to point out)

While I was on the other side of the store, covertly buying more Hot Wheels models, I aslo was thinking that many of the satanic spawn present could use a good flogging- I wouldn't be stupid enough to do it!

With all than nonsesne out of the way, I can soon get down to the serious business of cutting down trees, going for a bit of a shoot, then attacking the two kegs (Montieth's Orginal and Montieth's Dark)


Cactus Kate said...

I sympathise with the woman who took to your kid. I blame the youth of today.

Most kids these days are so badly behaved Oswald that it is now completely impossible for the untrained eye to distinguish between genuine autism and a kid that needs his arse severely kicked.

I propose all children with no disability wear a tag "No medical condition, criminal in training" to assist those of us in this problem.

Anonymous said...


Lindsay Mitchell said...

Could arm him with a banana and muesli bar ... self-protection of sorts

Oswald Bastable said...

I could certainly sympathise if a person who had had their bag grabed blindly lashed out.

This was not the case.

On futher digging, I found that she looked around, sized up what had happend, then hit him.

Then got huffy when the wife explained the circumstances (something she has had to do more than a few times- people have always ben really understanding in the past)

She was friggin' lucky I wasn't me there!

Unknown said...

Considering that the intalekshul elite think it's criminal to smack your own kids this would have to be a clear cut case of assault without any mitigating factor.

Anonymous said...

Hitting any child for touching a handbag is assult.
Words work much better, even with most autistic kids. Words will also alert any nearby parent. Most parents will react with the usual disciplinary messures the child is familiar with (yeah ok, that is a whole other subject).

Lucia Maria said...

If that had been my autistic, he would have just started laughing. Might have even hit the woman back, and then laughed even more.