Sunday, December 10, 2006

An Essential NZ Experience

Yeah, Right!
I visited the Tui HQ for the brewery tour on Saturday.
Like the beer, it was lacking in substance and appeal, to all but those new to the world of beer.
It probably caters very well to busloads of pisshead wannabes from Massey, but I found the 'experience' wanting.
It has a well-appointed shop and a nicely rustic bar- however, I'm no fan of paying exorbitant rates to were somebody else's advertising. If you want me to wear clothing covered in your brand- give it to me and I will.
The bar looked promising, done out as a woodshed minus the smell of sheep- for all that it was full of punters waiting to be fleeced. The bar had everything you could ever want to drink- as long as it was Tui- understandable, I suppose. At least the Mangitinoka Dark was quite drinkable.
For an outfit catering to bus tours, the toilets were woefully inadequate- urinal room for ONE (1), without getting intimate. They were uncommonly clean, mind and the beer keg urinal and handbasin was a clever touch. The girls had a similar problem, compounded by their personal plumbing.
Bar food would have been good- certainly a warmer of pies wouldn't compromise their image and a few bowls of nuts & nibble would not go astray.
The tour probably served the purpose of allowing lads and ladettes to say they had actually set foot in a real brewery. I've been in a few and would have liked a little more than a 15 minute look at an empty fermenter and a silent bottling line. OK, so I'm one of those people who finds miles of pipework, valves, tanks and pumps actually interesting.
It would have been nice to get to look about the old historic building, but this too, was not to happen.
The talk was interesting. On a blown-up picture of the 'Tui Girls" ad, you could see that one of them was of Mediterranean origins and for all her looks had arm hair to envy my more macho limbs. The tour guide also took pleasure in pointing out which other dolly had cellulite which was kept out of sight for the shot! Girls will be girls- meow!
Next time I'm driving past and thirsty- I'll stop for a coke at Pahiatua!

1 comment:

Dave said...

Been past the brewery a few times but never called in. Like their beer though. Used to drink it when we lived in Hastings. Prefered it to the Hastings-made Leopard beer any time! - Dave.