My opinions on matters of the day that, generally, have pissed me off. Being described as a 'Surly Curmudgeon', by those who meet me on a good day, I have a poor regard for the human species. This is my place for my free speech- not bloody yours. Crap under your own rock.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Thats enough serious stuff for now!
Watching National Geographic channel and they had a bit on the Dragon Rapide.
That set off the memory and after a quick Google:
(I think it was from the Rutland Dirty Weekend Book)
Hello you chaps! You know pranging around over the Baltic in a twin-engined Dragon Rapide can be a bally lonely business, even with chums like Algy and Ginger prancing around, and it's at times like these that a bloke needs the zany, whacky, kooky, oddball humour of Monty Python to keep his hands on the joystick, and his mind off chums like Algy and Ginger. Take this book for instance . . . Ginger get off. As you know it folds into a small coffee table, it can be used as a shower, or burns with a bright blue flame to provide twenty hours cooking, or up to thirty hours heating. If you chew the colour pages you can take in enough nutriment to keep alive in the desert for up to sixteen days, and if you simply add the cover to water it folds into an exquisite Japanese flower arrangement. The book may be used as a defensive weapon, it can be inserted as a plug for internal hemorrhaging, chopped into segments and simmered to provide a decent curry, pulped and chewed as a mild halllucinogen, or mashed and sprayed on exposed parts of the skin to make recalcitrant agents talk. If creamed with milk it can be rolled out and frozen to form a tasty ice lolly, combined with lighter fluid in an empty bottle it makes a passable bomb, and rolled up, smeared with KY and sat on, it makes a perfectly acceptable . . . Algy will you put that down, I haven't finished reading it. Well use the vibrator in the forward storage hold. Yes of course Ginger's cleaned it. No I haven't seen the contoured condoms. As you can see it's a pretty useful type of a book and I for one am jolly pleased to recommend it. It's a deuced clever little number, and I'm keen to say a nice word about the backroom boys behind it. So, here goes . . . bombs away . . . no, no Algy love . . . Algy! . . . I meant it metaphorically . . . Algy! . . . Al . . . oh well, teach the Swedes to be neutral.
Posted by Oswald Bastable at 20:30
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