Friday, September 04, 2009

Do you think this cocksucker likes me?

This author's first effort disappoints.

The chapter opens with an abbreviated, cliched 1970's Mack Bolanesque shoot'em up [including the obligatory "just a scratch" wound to the lead character] and then proceeds to wobble its way through a sequence of thinly scripted scene transitions.

Micron-thin, utterly banal characters (about whom the reader couldn't care less) populate a wordprocessing exercise almost devoid of narrative links, contextual incluing, dialogue, imagery and emotion. The author either does not know how to (or does not care to) give his readers permission to believe. Plot holes abound. Readers are expected to nod their heads to: a deus ex machina/alien space bat time-machine that runs off a hotel wall socket, intergalactic time travellers who could make millions by reading next week's lottery winning numbers but who instead are silly enough to volunteer to settle in Dark Age Derbyshire(of all places!), visiting the 35th Century for drugs but relying on 1980's firearm designs when goblins are on the wire and it's time to unleash some whoop-ass, and having the time team orchestrated by an uncomfortably author-surrogated lead character.

Time travel, seat-edge Chris Ryan/Andy McNab-style action and alternative history offer the imaginative novelist unlimited creative scope, but these are well travelled roads and their thematic patterns are firmly established in the target readers' expectations. And this is ultimately why this low trajectory effort looks set to fail to tick paying customer's boxes.

However for $2.50 Mr Watson's publisher can be said to have got the price point right. A cold soft drink from the machine or a full Meddler's In Time download - what will it be?

MY first shit review- I was getting worried because I hadn't had one and ALL the good sellers have had a shitload of comments like this!

For those that have read it- I would really appreciate you going back and leaving a comment- especially those who have already made positive ones elsewhere!

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