Monday, May 24, 2010

Tui Madness

"Two Wanaka teenagers were taken to Dunstan Hospital on Friday night and treated for alcohol poisoning after going to a school function drunk.

Senior Constable Ian Henderson, of Wanaka, said a 15-year-old male and a female whose age was unknown had been at the Mount Aspiring College "Macstock" music concert in the Lake Wanaka Centre when they became seriously ill about 8pm..."

More MSM hysteria.

The condition is (or was) known as 'Pissed'

The best cure is to be left in the recovery position in a cold, damp and uncomfortable cell with other sufferers in a similar condition. A nice policeman will hose off the vomit and urine at about 0600 and bring a nutritious breakfast of warm lard and Tripe. Then he will repeat the cleansing process.

He will check that the patient(s) hearing is not impaired by addressing them in a loud voice.

A brisk walk home will then warm the body and clear the mind.

On the next working day, a magistrate will relieve the patient of surplus money, preventing a re-occurrence.

Note: This treatment will not ameliorate any perceived suffering, but will have a prophylactic effect and minimize future relapses.

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