I don't have photoshop- Generation XY could do this but I can't, so:
The scene is a fairground, A&P show- that sort of place.
A prominant stall is the "Labour Party Fundraiser' There is a sign, as is often seen at schools, of a stylized thermometer with $800,000 at the top.
MPs are dressed as clowns and strapped to heavy chairs. Objects to throw at them are at the counter for sale.
A scale of prices reads:
Wet sponges $1
Tennis balls $10
Cricket balls $100
Petanque balls $1000
Viking throwing axe $10000
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
How to raise money WITHOUT ransacking the consolidated fund...
Where do you find $800k, when you can't dip into the public trough and tax some mug?
One thing is sure- Liarbour won't bloody earn it! The culture of doing things with other people's money is too deeply ingrained.
How about hitting up all the union members for a few bucks?
Selling kidneys?
Auctioning Winston on TradeMe?
Tithing/taxing the party faithful? (like they want anything paid for with THEIR money!)
Pay it back like reparations- a dollar a day forever with no interest or penalties.
See what it's like when it's YOUR money you have to front up with, dirtbags!
One thing is sure- Liarbour won't bloody earn it! The culture of doing things with other people's money is too deeply ingrained.
How about hitting up all the union members for a few bucks?
Selling kidneys?
Auctioning Winston on TradeMe?
Tithing/taxing the party faithful? (like they want anything paid for with THEIR money!)
Pay it back like reparations- a dollar a day forever with no interest or penalties.
See what it's like when it's YOUR money you have to front up with, dirtbags!
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Beta Blogger blows goats!
I fucked up.
I changed to the all-new bigger better beta blogger.
What a mistaka to maka!
Whoever designed this sucks the sweat of a dead man's balls!!!
Now I have to sign on three times when I want to do anything. Where did you hire your staff- Microsoft?
SORT YOUR SHIT OUT!
I changed to the all-new bigger better beta blogger.
What a mistaka to maka!
Whoever designed this sucks the sweat of a dead man's balls!!!
Now I have to sign on three times when I want to do anything. Where did you hire your staff- Microsoft?
SORT YOUR SHIT OUT!
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Mad cows
For the last week I have been playing 'dodge the cows' on the road to work.
This road isn't the unsealed road out the back of nowhere. It's the road the the local railway station and very well used.
Yet the local hicks let their stock wander on it with no control or warning signs as are required. Damned animals are worse than rabbits for suddenly dashing in front of your vehicle- but MUCH heavier!
It's to be expected, as a cow is not a clever animal- nor are many of those who work with them.
Today I found another king of mad cow. This one drove an Audi right up the middle of the road, refusing to move to the correct side.
Tommorow I'm just going to stop and let her go round!
This road isn't the unsealed road out the back of nowhere. It's the road the the local railway station and very well used.
Yet the local hicks let their stock wander on it with no control or warning signs as are required. Damned animals are worse than rabbits for suddenly dashing in front of your vehicle- but MUCH heavier!
It's to be expected, as a cow is not a clever animal- nor are many of those who work with them.
Today I found another king of mad cow. This one drove an Audi right up the middle of the road, refusing to move to the correct side.
Tommorow I'm just going to stop and let her go round!
Monday, October 09, 2006
Crystal Ball Gazing
What's North Korea's future going to hold?
I think two options that can ruled out are:
1- A nuclear strike
2- A ground attack
Sanctions don't seem to work and all the money spent bribing these nutbars has been wasted.
I'm picking an attack by stealth aircraft on nuclear facilities.
Seen any Buffaler?
Just the thing for buffalo or going right through a boy racer dorkmobile!
So many toys, so little money!
Saturday, October 07, 2006
From the 'Tough Shit' files...
Families Claim Prisoners Being Starved
"...The Corrections Department is defending itself against allegations it is starving prisoners. Prisoners' families are saying their relatives behind bars are not being looked after properly, and are overcharged for standard grocery items..."
More:
The meals are nutritionally adequate and not particularly appealing, which is as it should be. You certainly won't starve on them, nor will you put on weight.
They are quite like hospital food, but without dessert.
They can buy through the canteen system, but most of course spend their allocation on smokes.
There are a hell of a lot of people in NZ, especially our old folks that don't get three balanced meals a day.
Sympathy- It's in the dictionary between 'Shit' and 'Syphylis'
"...The Corrections Department is defending itself against allegations it is starving prisoners. Prisoners' families are saying their relatives behind bars are not being looked after properly, and are overcharged for standard grocery items..."
More:
The meals are nutritionally adequate and not particularly appealing, which is as it should be. You certainly won't starve on them, nor will you put on weight.
They are quite like hospital food, but without dessert.
They can buy through the canteen system, but most of course spend their allocation on smokes.
There are a hell of a lot of people in NZ, especially our old folks that don't get three balanced meals a day.
Sympathy- It's in the dictionary between 'Shit' and 'Syphylis'
Friday, October 06, 2006
Another cost-cutter!
'Diet' Cocktails Get You Drunker
Having your alcohol with a sugar-free artificially sweetened mixer may cut calories, but it will also make you drunker, a study suggests. The problem, Australian researchers found, is that drinks made with "diet" mixers pass through the stomach more rapidly and, therefore, make blood alcohol levels spike particularly high.
More:
Of course you could just forgo the mixers and drink the spirits.
Unless you too drink Poteen, which really needs a bit of Zero coke to cut it back!
I wish they would bring the diet vanilla coke back...
Having your alcohol with a sugar-free artificially sweetened mixer may cut calories, but it will also make you drunker, a study suggests. The problem, Australian researchers found, is that drinks made with "diet" mixers pass through the stomach more rapidly and, therefore, make blood alcohol levels spike particularly high.
More:
Of course you could just forgo the mixers and drink the spirits.
Unless you too drink Poteen, which really needs a bit of Zero coke to cut it back!
I wish they would bring the diet vanilla coke back...
Thursday, October 05, 2006
I got Hate Mail!
This arrived in the comments section:
Its not that you're macho, you just come across as a wanker, thats all - sort of inbred and boorish, perhaps due to the miserable location you live in.
You are a country hick, rather than a country gent, Oswald.
And dont whinge about this being anonymous, I just be ashamed to admit I read your drivel, thats all.
Fairly typically, it comes from an Anonymouse. I think someone has a bit of a love-hate thing going here!
Do you have a secret collection of Mills & Boon under the bed too?
You never know with an Anonymouse. They can't stand the thought of anyone knowing anything about them. Nor do they dare to publish their own thoughts- that's why they usually don't have there own blog. Someone might critisize them!
They are even too timid to take a 'stage name' and use the faceless communication here on the internet!
None of the simpering little girl-boys would ever dare spout their usual rantings to another face to face!
Amusing, really!
Anyone care to take a guess as to who it was?
Its not that you're macho, you just come across as a wanker, thats all - sort of inbred and boorish, perhaps due to the miserable location you live in.
You are a country hick, rather than a country gent, Oswald.
And dont whinge about this being anonymous, I just be ashamed to admit I read your drivel, thats all.
Fairly typically, it comes from an Anonymouse. I think someone has a bit of a love-hate thing going here!
Do you have a secret collection of Mills & Boon under the bed too?
You never know with an Anonymouse. They can't stand the thought of anyone knowing anything about them. Nor do they dare to publish their own thoughts- that's why they usually don't have there own blog. Someone might critisize them!
They are even too timid to take a 'stage name' and use the faceless communication here on the internet!
None of the simpering little girl-boys would ever dare spout their usual rantings to another face to face!
Amusing, really!
Anyone care to take a guess as to who it was?
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Reparations
Reparation payments.
I'm one of the 'lucky' few that actually get them.
Not that it's really thanks to luck. I just made a nusiance of myself with the Ministry of 'Justice' (in the nicest possible way, of course!)
Before sentencing the scrote who owes me, the judge asked me for some info. on costs. I supplied several spreadsheets of actual and estimated costs, along with explanations running to about two thousand words. (the court people were quite impressed!)
My conservative estimate (strictly based on financial facts, not suffering, blah, blah, blah) was damages of $50-60k
The judge (probably realisticly) said that dickwad would have to be reincarnated to pay that amount of money and awarded $10k.
That's been trickling in as the deadbeat drifts in and out of jobs. When he is on the dole, I get a check for fifty bucks every couple of months. Currently, the Warehouse needs shelves filled and I get fifty per week.
So you ask what am I on about?
Right- WHERE IS THE FUCKIN' INTEREST???!!!
I'm one of the 'lucky' few that actually get them.
Not that it's really thanks to luck. I just made a nusiance of myself with the Ministry of 'Justice' (in the nicest possible way, of course!)
Before sentencing the scrote who owes me, the judge asked me for some info. on costs. I supplied several spreadsheets of actual and estimated costs, along with explanations running to about two thousand words. (the court people were quite impressed!)
My conservative estimate (strictly based on financial facts, not suffering, blah, blah, blah) was damages of $50-60k
The judge (probably realisticly) said that dickwad would have to be reincarnated to pay that amount of money and awarded $10k.
That's been trickling in as the deadbeat drifts in and out of jobs. When he is on the dole, I get a check for fifty bucks every couple of months. Currently, the Warehouse needs shelves filled and I get fifty per week.
So you ask what am I on about?
Right- WHERE IS THE FUCKIN' INTEREST???!!!
Monday, October 02, 2006
Protection?
Over on Sir Humphries, I made a quip to the effect that Dear Leader deserved the same level of protection that all the citizens of our land deserve.
While spoken light-heartedly at the time, I feel that this is a valid point.
Yes, the leaders of our country need an efficent diplomatic protection service.
The citizens should also have an efficent police force and armed forces resourced to defend OUR shores.
This to me, is the main point of having a government- to provide these core functions.
It looks like Dear Leader has the same run down level of ineptness tha tthe rest of us have to put up with. Failure to spot a PI tailing them?
Come on- at best the PI's have had the same training as they have.
Or are they not particularly interested in protecting Dear Leader?
Given the way she inspires loyalty within the police ranks, I could well belive that!
We DO need our top-level politicians well guarded, as we need our country
well policed.
We also need a few leaders worthy of the name.
While spoken light-heartedly at the time, I feel that this is a valid point.
Yes, the leaders of our country need an efficent diplomatic protection service.
The citizens should also have an efficent police force and armed forces resourced to defend OUR shores.
This to me, is the main point of having a government- to provide these core functions.
It looks like Dear Leader has the same run down level of ineptness tha tthe rest of us have to put up with. Failure to spot a PI tailing them?
Come on- at best the PI's have had the same training as they have.
Or are they not particularly interested in protecting Dear Leader?
Given the way she inspires loyalty within the police ranks, I could well belive that!
We DO need our top-level politicians well guarded, as we need our country
well policed.
We also need a few leaders worthy of the name.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
It's great to be Macho!
Over on Sir Humphries , a grotty little Herbert (no blog or link itself, of course) has taken exception to a few comments on chickens.
Murry and myself and have been accused of spouting 'Macho BS'
Well, I beg your miniscule pardon! What the fuck is wrong with being Macho, anyway!
I 'yams what I 'yams!
We get all the fun toys- we get to drive bigger cars & trucks, tanks, jet aircraft, huge earthmovers and loud motorbikes.
There is no anguish over what to eat- cut the hooves & horns off & char the outside- all other food is 'side orders'
We can drink beer & red wine with whatever food we like.
Getting dressed is never a drama.
We know what we enjoy and aren't afraid to say so.
We know what we don't like and aren't afraid to say so.
We call a shovel a fucking spade and 'bullshit has more than two letters.
We know that women do some things better and men do other things better. Knowing that, we and our women work as a team to do what Man and Women have always done. Raise healthy, happy kids.
Sometimes that doesn't work out and we move on. We get over it- life goes on.
We are accused of being 'insensitive'- in our words- we don't buy into other people's bullshit!
We don't need support groups, therapists or rounds of applause for doing our jobs. We just get on with it.
Contrary to opinion,the real Macho Man does not beat women, children or gimps. That sort of thing is beneath us- and just wrong.
We say what we think, not what we think the other person wants to hear. You don't like it- tough.
We keep the world going. The world won't grind to a halt without boutiques, lattes, lemon-scented towels, colour co-ordintors, wedding planner or hair stylists.
Without plumbers, farmers, linesman, police, mechanics, road workers and all those other 'blue collars' workers, it will get uncomfortable real quick!
Murry and myself and have been accused of spouting 'Macho BS'
Well, I beg your miniscule pardon! What the fuck is wrong with being Macho, anyway!
I 'yams what I 'yams!
We get all the fun toys- we get to drive bigger cars & trucks, tanks, jet aircraft, huge earthmovers and loud motorbikes.
There is no anguish over what to eat- cut the hooves & horns off & char the outside- all other food is 'side orders'
We can drink beer & red wine with whatever food we like.
Getting dressed is never a drama.
We know what we enjoy and aren't afraid to say so.
We know what we don't like and aren't afraid to say so.
We call a shovel a fucking spade and 'bullshit has more than two letters.
We know that women do some things better and men do other things better. Knowing that, we and our women work as a team to do what Man and Women have always done. Raise healthy, happy kids.
Sometimes that doesn't work out and we move on. We get over it- life goes on.
We are accused of being 'insensitive'- in our words- we don't buy into other people's bullshit!
We don't need support groups, therapists or rounds of applause for doing our jobs. We just get on with it.
Contrary to opinion,the real Macho Man does not beat women, children or gimps. That sort of thing is beneath us- and just wrong.
We say what we think, not what we think the other person wants to hear. You don't like it- tough.
We keep the world going. The world won't grind to a halt without boutiques, lattes, lemon-scented towels, colour co-ordintors, wedding planner or hair stylists.
Without plumbers, farmers, linesman, police, mechanics, road workers and all those other 'blue collars' workers, it will get uncomfortable real quick!
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Death Throes
It's interesting watching the Liarbourites at the moment.
They remind me of a rabbit I shot in the head this afternoon. It was seriously dead (70 grain 6mm slug at about 3,500 feet per second) , but still flapping about trying to run.
The enemy really are losing the plot. When Dear Leader (who is said to be such an astute polly) comes out with lines like 'Cancerous ' you know that all is not well in Helengrad. I mean- it's just SO non-PC that I might have said it!
Chris Trotski, the great red mouthpiece is carrying on in the same vein, as are all the apologists for corruption that are currently frequenting Kiwiblog. (a bigger audience there, no doubt)
I suppose this is to be expected, given that socialists are all herdbeasts at heart.
Now it's onto the truck and off to the works!
They remind me of a rabbit I shot in the head this afternoon. It was seriously dead (70 grain 6mm slug at about 3,500 feet per second) , but still flapping about trying to run.
The enemy really are losing the plot. When Dear Leader (who is said to be such an astute polly) comes out with lines like 'Cancerous ' you know that all is not well in Helengrad. I mean- it's just SO non-PC that I might have said it!
Chris Trotski, the great red mouthpiece is carrying on in the same vein, as are all the apologists for corruption that are currently frequenting Kiwiblog. (a bigger audience there, no doubt)
I suppose this is to be expected, given that socialists are all herdbeasts at heart.
Now it's onto the truck and off to the works!
Thursday, September 28, 2006
From the 'No shit Sherlock!' files...
Country facing a shortage of technology teachers
New Zealand schools are facing a crisis as a lack of new recruits threaten to collapse the technology curriculum, the Post Primary Teachers Association says.
More:
No shit!And technology teachers would be mainly....Male
And what sex is a leetle reluctant to take employment in today's skools?(Especially hetro, macho tradesman types!- not renouned for a love of leftie kaftan-wearers)
In my day, metalwork & woodwork teachers (come to think of it, probably the cooking & sewing ones too) were somewhat to the right of Genghis Khan.
See the problem with them fitting in today...
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
ARSE! Feak!
Friggin' blogger!
Twice I have tried to post and the bloody thing has just sat there going 'duh' and doing sod-all- just like a public service clerk.
Now will this work...
Twice I have tried to post and the bloody thing has just sat there going 'duh' and doing sod-all- just like a public service clerk.
Now will this work...
Monday, September 25, 2006
Theeeeeeir Heeeeeere....
There are a few problems with the site but it's here!The secret and mysterious forces that rule the universe have a website. Secretive fringe societies- The Alumni, Freemasons, Golfers and Hetrosexuals unite to destroy the Peoples Party!
About bloody time too!
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Fate strikes again...
After declaring that I never darken the doors of Pac & Slave here, what has to happen.
I get dragged there several days later. The ball & chain has heard about some damned 'scan as you go' system. So on one of the two day a fortnight I get off, I have to visit retail hell.
It's not that I intensely dislike the actual store. I just hate shopping, unless firearms & accessories or power tools are involved. Even then, I do most of the looking on the internet first.
But there is one thing worse than wasting time in shops.
People who actually seem to like wasting their time in shops. Hordes of the swine, blocking the isles and prolonging my pain. Uneducated oiks who can't do a simple cost per gram calculation in their heads and go into a sort of trance staring at two practically identical products.
My decision algorithm goes: do I care about the brand?
If I do, buy it. (there are no substitutes for HP sauce, for example)
If I don't- is it a brand I have found to be crap?- if it is- keep looking.
Otherwise- buy the cheapest.
This doesn't require a great deal of time. perhaps it could be refined and printed on the frigin' trollies, SO THE FRICKIN' SHE-MOUNTAIN IN FRONT WONT BLOCK THE ISLE FOR FIVE MINUTES EACH TIEM A DESCISION IS REQUIRED.
What is really annoying is that I just know that having just made a life-altering decision over ETA vs Pams peanut butter, they will buy the one they have always brought, in any case.
A cattle prod only costs about $200...
I get dragged there several days later. The ball & chain has heard about some damned 'scan as you go' system. So on one of the two day a fortnight I get off, I have to visit retail hell.
It's not that I intensely dislike the actual store. I just hate shopping, unless firearms & accessories or power tools are involved. Even then, I do most of the looking on the internet first.
But there is one thing worse than wasting time in shops.
People who actually seem to like wasting their time in shops. Hordes of the swine, blocking the isles and prolonging my pain. Uneducated oiks who can't do a simple cost per gram calculation in their heads and go into a sort of trance staring at two practically identical products.
My decision algorithm goes: do I care about the brand?
If I do, buy it. (there are no substitutes for HP sauce, for example)
If I don't- is it a brand I have found to be crap?- if it is- keep looking.
Otherwise- buy the cheapest.
This doesn't require a great deal of time. perhaps it could be refined and printed on the frigin' trollies, SO THE FRICKIN' SHE-MOUNTAIN IN FRONT WONT BLOCK THE ISLE FOR FIVE MINUTES EACH TIEM A DESCISION IS REQUIRED.
What is really annoying is that I just know that having just made a life-altering decision over ETA vs Pams peanut butter, they will buy the one they have always brought, in any case.
A cattle prod only costs about $200...
Friday, September 22, 2006
The farce is strong with this one...
Seeing as the Young Nats have no scrotes- here it is, by popular demand!
and now- the end is near...
As the impending doom draws near for Dear Leader, I keep thinking of this little number:
http://www.lyricsdomain.com/20/the_sex_pistols/my_way.html
It just seems to fit so nicely...
http://www.lyricsdomain.com/20/the_sex_pistols/my_way.html
It just seems to fit so nicely...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)