Friday, October 07, 2005

Reality TV- 'Degradation Island'

Visit this site for today's episode of "Degradation Island" where 'eye candy' debase themselves for fame, cash and prizes!

Episode one
All clothing was removed overnight and replaced with sackcloth. A 'fountain' has appeared in the kitchen area. This life-size replica of Benito Mussolini will dispense a reasonable chardonnay when it's genitalia are manipulated correctly.

100 cubic metres of well-matured rubbish from the local tip has arrived in the yard and must be hand-sorted and bagged for recycling, before the showers will be turned on. Hidden in this pile are cans of food, with the labels removed.

The toilet paper has disappeared and has been replaced with newspaper...
tomorrow we bring you "groveling for Dollars"!

Episode two
Today our contestants have the opportunity to make money by groveling in mud!
The game: Plastic bones must be taken from a dog's bowl on one one side of the mud wallow, to a dog's kennel on the other side of the wallow. Each bone retrieved gains $200 bucks to the contestants account!
Now the conditions: 1-Bone must be carried in the mouth. 2- the torso must remain in contact with the mud. 3- the legs are tied at the ankles. Game lasts four hours- will their greed go the distance?

Otherwise, to enhance voyeuristic interest in sordid public displays of affection, oil of ylang-ylang has been added to the air conditioning- ginseng and royal jelly supplements have been provided, along with video's of "The Story of O". Ravel's "Bolero" is played subliminally...

Alternative protein sources save money.

Episode Three

Eating Invertebrates for cash!

The stakes are high- $1 per gram!
A choice smorgasboard of honeyed locusts, chocolate cicada, stir-fried worms, Huhu grubs au natural, candied starfish, braised limpits, sea cucumbers and all the other delights our chef Mr Arigato Banzi Deathstar can concoct...

In keeping with this theme, our 'Boss of the week" will dine on Lobster, Bluff Oysters and Whitebait, washed down with a Cloudy Bay Sav. Blanc.
Those wishing to to forgo this delightful repast may grovel before the webcams. Highest polling victim, errr, contestant gets a Happy Meal.

Several contestants have been talking about those IN BREACH OF THE RULES .

Here on degradation Island, when ONE screws up, we punish EVERYONE!
Overalls with a target between the shoulderblades have been issued. Also, everyone gets a paintball gun with 50 rounds! I guess you can figure out that the one who gets the most points(scored on the target) gets Das Boot!

You are exempt being shot at when you are naked...

(Note:- I forfeit any claim to the above, as my intellectual property, in exchange for a really big plasma screen TV, a new wireless Sony DVD home theater system and a bottle of Jack Daniels)


Lippy said...

As this was posted last Thursday, I can't believe some scum-sucking, rapaciously greedy US TV producer hasn't already creamed himself grabbing your idea! What is the world coming to!!!

Ms Vile File said...

Degradation Island, indeed. I think with these 'Reality Shows', they could forgo the monetary prizes - face it. The contenders are in it for the 'fame.' Better to be anonymous with one's dignity intact, I say.