Topical

Been Shopping

The things you find on the internet

After watching 'Zulu' and 'Zulu Dawn', I decided that one of those stabbing spears would be a great wall ornament- yes- a wall ornament- not a burglar-sticker (take note all you dairy owners- these are only for opening bundles of newpapers)!

A quick google and I find that Cold Steel make such an item!

Now to find one of these decorative spears in NZ!

A dead duck

...would seem to be where NZ First is now, as Ron Mark looks towards local government.

First he has to shake of the stigma of associating with Bad Company...

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!

I was checking cruise lines because I heard the rates are very cheap right now.

I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan ) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania ).

The cost is a bit high @ 800 per person double occupancy but I didn’t find that offensive. What I found encouraging and enlightened is that the cruise is encouraging people to bring their 'High powered weapons' along on the cruise. If you don’t have weapons you can rent them right there on the boat. They claim to have a master blacksmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon. The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200 per person double occupancy (4 days). All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package.

$800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing)

M-16 full auto rental $ 25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armor piercing ammo at $15.95

Ak-47 riffle @ No charge. ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball ammo at $14.95

Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper riffle rental 55.00/day ammo at 25 rounds 50 cal armor piercing at $9.95

Crew members can double as spotters for $30.00 per hour ( spotting scope included).

Jesus Christ---- they even offer RPG's at 75 bucks and 200 dollars for 3 standard loads


"Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am."


Meals are not included but seem reasonable.

Most cruises offer a mini-bar... these gung ho entrepreneurs offer......... get this.....

"MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ 450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire"


Sign my ass up!


They advertise group rates and corporate discounts...... and even claim "FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY"
They even offer a partial money back if not satisfied....here’s some text from the ad.


"We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money back including gun rental charges and any unused ammo ( mini gun charges not included).. How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 kno ts within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia . If an attempted Hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots. We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia . At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before Feb 29 and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice."

As if all that isn’t enough to whet your appetite, there were a few testimonials


“I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'LL never hunt big game in Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!”---- Lars , Hamburg Germany


"Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and my 12yr old son sank two rowboats with the minigun. PIRATES 0 -PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English"
Ned, Salt Lake city , Utah USA

"I haven’t had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM . Don’t worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those weapons they use and their shitty aim--reminds me of a drunken 'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam" --"chopper'
Dan ----Toledo USA.

"Like ducks in a barrel. They turned the ship around=2 0and we saw them bleed and cry in the water like little girls. Saw one wounded pirate eaten by sharks--what a laugh riot!! This is a must do.--- Zeke-Minnahaw Springs Kentucky USA

Hat tip- Theo Spark

Arseholes on the road

Today its the twat with the horse float.

For some reason these dog tucker transporters seem totally unable to PULL OVER AND LET THE FASTER TRAFFIC PASS!

It's also interesting how the large 4WD's (devoid of any dirt or sign of EVER being off the sealed roads) pulling these trailers are meticulous about obeying the speed limit for a vehicle with a trailer.

Without the trailer, the Karori tractors seem blissfully unaware of speed limits.

So it's a big 'Up Yours' to you and your horse!

Lest we forget

England

Honourary Doctorates

They have about as much merit as the titles and decorations of- His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, CBE.

As phony as a $20 dollar Rolex.

Democracy in Local Government

There is much wailing and gnashing off teeth over the the 'SuperCouncil' being anti-democratic.

Sorry to piss on your fish & Chips, but the whole system of voting in a Mayor, Councilors and community board is but window dressing.

Their input is minimal and they are resented and as often as not obstructed by the grey-shoe wearers who are quite safe from the wroth of the ratepayers.

It's just like the anonymous snivel-servants that carry on celebrating mediocrity, incompetence and the toxic personality cult as their 'masters' change.

Mention the local council staff and what images immediately come to mind:

• The inept third-rate 'engineer' who would be out of his depth in a kindergarten sand pit.

• The myopic building inspector who couldn't build a dog kennel that stays dry, but knows all the building regulations that will stop you doing something with your own property.

• The Parking Warden. Enough said.

• The bloated chocolate-addict behind the counter that scowls at you when you go to pay the rates demand. Probably kicked out of Quantas for a poor customer service attitude.

• The gin-addled old fart who can't be pushed out the door now that there is no retirement age. Nobody actually know what he does

We all know them, regardless of where we live. South Wairarapa has the bloody lot-- but they are a joke even to other councils.

I have personally heard them state that the Mayor & councilors should stay out of their affairs and stick to opening school fairs and sporting events. Safe behind bomb-proof employment contracts- you can bet they do all they can to keep the elected officials at a distance!

If you think we REALLY have a say- you are deluded.

We need ALL council functions minimised and put out to facilities management contracts. These can be overseen by elected officials.

Bogans not welcome in the suicide capital

They must have been short of news yesterday.

Firstly- Do people from Wainuiomata travel? Apart from in vehicles that belong to Police or Corrections, that is.

Secondly- Palmerston North? If I was staying there, it would only be because I had been arrested.

Thirdly- Doesn't Mallard have something useful to do, like scraping bubble gum from underneath office desks.

For whom the bell tolls

"...The next in line is tipped to be the Inland Revenue Department, with several hundred jobs nationwide affected by restructuring. It has 6000 staff..."

6000 staff!

I had no idea there were so many involved in the state-sanctioned theft of other people's property!

If a cow was bloated that bad, it would be dog tucker- which the more I think about it- would be the answer to IRD too...

The UN can kiss my arse

When the usual rimjaws start crying foul, you know you have done the right thing!

"...Labour and the Greens are at odds with the Government over its decision to boycott this week's United Nations conference on racism..."

The UN would be the most, corrupt, self-serving and morally bankrupt collection of leeches on the planet. Their hypocrisy defines the word.

I applaud the governments decision to shun their loathsome company.

I'm just surprised that the US camel-jockey hasn't insisting on turning up...

Kicking a woman in the back

Well- up the arse was more the thought of the time.

That happens when you overhear a couple of DPB bludgers bitching to each other about 'Having no time to themselves or money for a babysitter so they can go out and party and how they should get more cash (of course).'

That does not sit well as one is about to start another 12 day shift with seven days on-call 24hrs.

The four-figure tax loss in the next pay is going- where?

This whole sense of entitlement is really giving me the shits of late. These slappers want US to pay for the upbringing their illegitimate spawn and now they want us to pay more so they can get out and copulate in some nightclub toilets!

Time to stop feeding the pigeons!

Take the Black Capsule

On the subject of suicide, it is an observation that women will ATTEMPT suicide or threaten to do so far more often than they will consummate the act.

It's a cry for attention and/or help.

Men on the other hand, just go out and do it out of the blue.

It's not hard to destroy yourself, once one decides to do so.

There are obvious exceptions to every rule of thumb.

Draw your own conclusions...

A Thought for today

Never has this quote been more true...

"The America of my time line is a laboratory example of what can happen to democracies, what has eventually happened to all perfect democracies throughout all histories. A perfect democracy, a ‘warm body’ democracy in which every adult may vote and all votes count equally, has no internal feedback for self-correction. It depends solely on the wisdom and self-restraint of citizens… which is opposed by the folly and lack of self-restraint of other citizens. What is supposed to happen in a democracy is that each sovereign citizen will always vote in the public interest for the safety and welfare of all. But what does happen is that he votes his own self-interest as he sees it… which for the majority translates as ‘Bread and Circuses.’

‘Bread and Circuses’ is the cancer of democracy, the fatal disease for which there is no cure. Democracy often works beautifully at first. But once a state extends the franchise to every warm body, be he producer or parasite, that day marks the beginning of the end of the state. For when the plebs discover that they can vote themselves bread and circuses without limit and that the productive members of the body politic cannot stop them, they will do so, until the state bleeds to death, or in its weakened condition the state succumbs to an invader—the barbarians enter Rome."
— Robert A. Heinlein (To Sail Beyond the Sunset)

Nyaaa!

Another time-wasting internet quiz!

Back to drugs in the workplace

A while back I got an email on my 'drug testing employees' post

"Most, I suspect are the functioning potheads that, while they dont vote on the issue, know all to well that 'a little pot' has no measurable effect on personal responsibility, safety or duty of care. There are likely on anyone day, to be more than 150,000 New Zealanders that would fail the 'metabolites' test while absent any proof of impairment. It is the logical equivalent of licking someones exhaust pipe to see if they have been speeding in the last month."

I put this aside as I was rather busy at the time, but thought it was worth commenting on.

Firstly, my position on drugs is that using them should not be a criminal act- but (and it's a big but) users need to be made responsible for for their actions relating to the use of drugs- such as any medical treatment resulting from their use or criminal acts 'under the influence'

I believe that association with the drug-dealing criminal fraternity is probably more harmful than the act of using the substances.

Secondly, while I support decriminalization, I believe that employers have every right to contract that employees may not use whatever substances they see fit or to set conditions on their use.

Now to the email above, I would reply that since more information has come to light- the conclusions are quite wrong.

With the benefit of hindsight, it has turned out that those who tested positive had a significantly higher rate of absenteeism, accidents and breakage of equipment. Perhaps they would not be impaired in some jobs but these people were operating heavy machinery and power tools.

If they were smoking on the job, we will never really know, although there is anecdotal evidence to suggest this was the case. I sure as hell don't want anyone pissed, stoned, high or just plain stupid working around me! I have worked in such places in the past and seen a few idiot stoners maimed for life- better them than me, thankfully. These retard thought it was their right to smoke up during a break. The least of it was that you always wound up carrying their deadweight.

It is worth mentioning that I can recall at least four that have been fired for drinking on the job, over the last couple of years.

Blogging Lite

The Parable of the Plum Tree

I remember years ago being out picking plums from a large tree overhanging the footpath at a friends flat. This tree was absolutely loaded with those plums with the tasty, sweet yellow flesh.

A couple of bludgers (as we found) came past and asked if they could have some plums. We said 'Sure, pick as many as you want' We had a big bucket full that got turned into plum wine- but that's another story.

They then shrugged and walked off- what they actually wanted were the plums that we had already picked.

Now this is an attitude often seen in food banks. Many want food that needs no more than a quick zap in the microwave. Stuff like pasta, rice and flour are discarded or at best, returned.

Like picking the plums themselves, that sort of food is too hard to prepare.

What they really want from the food banks are KFC/McD's or Pizza vouchers.