What sort of clowns...

...spend their free time (something they must have far too much of) complaining about pizza ads

I suspect it is a small group responsible for most of these complaints to the TV Nannying Body.

"...5. Charlie's Old Fashioned Lemon Soda, television ad. Children spy on a neighbour topless sunbathing, then they squeeze lemons to make a drink (23). Upheld, not socially responsible..."

I mean- really- I think these types would need a cup of tea and a lie-down after an episode of Coro St!

If my life was so pathetic, I would be begging to be put down!

Missing the point here

So Lotto will soon be available via the internet. Welcome to the 21st century.

So now the wowsers are whinging about how it will hurt the weak-willed who just can't help themselves.

"What the Government is proposing is to allow people who are very poor and beneficiaries to buy lottery products on their credit cards online in the dark," foundation chief executive John Stansfield told TV3..."

The point they should be really looking at is HOW THE HELL DO THE VERY POOR AND BENEFICIARIES GET CREDIT CARDS IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Politics, politics, politics

While on her morning walk, Helen Clark falls over, has a heart attack and dies because the accident and emergency dept at her nearest hospital is too understaffed to treat her in time.

So her soul arrives in Heaven and he is met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Welcome to Heaven," says Saint Peter, "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a Socialist around these parts, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in; I'm a good Christian; I'm a believer," says the PM.

"I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from God Himself. He says that since the implementation of his new HEAVEN CHOICES policy, you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you'll live for eternity."

"But I've already made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," replies Clark.

"I'm sorry .. But we have our rules," Peter interjects. And, with that, St. Peter escorts her to an elevator and he goes down, down, down
...all the way to Hell.

The doors open and he finds herself in the middle of a lush golf course.
The sun is shining in a cloudless sky. The temperature is a perfect 22C degrees. In the distance is a beautiful club-house. Standing in front of it is Norm Kirk and thousands of other Socialist luminaries who had helped her out over the years --- All of the Labour Party leaders were there .. Everyone laughing, happy, and casually but expensively dressed.

They run to greet her, to hug her and to reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the expense of 'suckers and peasants.'

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.
The Devil himself comes up to Clark with a frosty drink, "Have a tequila and relax, Helen!"

"Uh, I can't drink anymore, I took a pledge," says Clark, dejectedly.

"This is Hell, girl. You can drink and eat all you want and not worry and it just gets better from there!"

Clark takes the drink and finds herself liking the Devil, who she thinks is a really very friendly bloke who tells funny jokes like herself and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like the ones the Labour Party pulled with the Bill Of Rights Act and the Education, Immigration, Tough on Crime promises.

They are having such a great time that, before she realises it, it's time to go. Everyone gives her a big hug and waves as she steps on the elevator and heads upward.

When the elevator door reopens, she is in Heaven again and Saint Peter is waiting for her. "Now it's time to visit Heaven," the old man says, opening the gate.

So for 24 hours Clark is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good-natured people who enjoy each other's company, talk about things other than money and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or short-arse joke among them. No fancy country clubs here and, while the food tastes great, it's not caviar or lobster. And these people are all poor. She doesn't see anybody she knows and she isn't even treated like anyone special!
"Whoa," she says uncomfortably to herself. "Geoffry Palmer never prepared me for this!"

The day done, Saint Peter returns and says, "Well, you've spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for Eternity."

With the 'Deal or No Deal' theme playing softly in the background, Clark reflects for a minute ... Then answers: "Well, I would never have thought I'd say this -- I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all -- but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends."

So Saint Peter escorts her to the elevator and she goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell.

The doors of the elevator open and she is in the middle of a barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial wasteland, looking a bit like the eroded, rabbit and fox affected Australian outback, but worse and more desolate.

She is horrified to see all of her friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the roadside rubbish and putting it into black plastic bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with grime.

The Devil comes over to Clark and puts an arm around her shoulder." I don't understand," stammers a shocked Clark, "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a club-house and we ate lobster and caviar and drank tequila. We lazed around and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable!"

The Devil looks at her, smiles slyly and purrs, "Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us!"

Here endth the lesson...

Resource Management Act [Tui ad here]

"Greytown people are either in the happy situation where money is no object or they just can't get the message when it comes to saving water. The town's water usage is way out of whack with other towns in South Wairarapa and with metered water now a reality the financial cost of wasting it will soon hit home. "...Latest figures show that Greytown soaked up 73,353 cubic metres in February more than 12,000cu m more than Martinborough, and 20,000cu m more than Featherston. Over the last year Greytown has consistently used far more reticulated water each month than either of the other two towns and in winter uses double the amount used in Martinborough despite having only fractionally more connections to the water mains..." Link: These people are the highest per capita water users in NZ. The RMA does diddly squat about their water use/abuse. Water meter mean they will have to pay. This will be a big fat 'so what' When you have spent 20k on landscaping for your quaint little cottage, you don't give a shit about another grand a year in water charges. Nor does the RMA stop farmers pumping aquifers dry to keep their cows producing milk, in the same area. So what does the RMA do- jack squat. Scrap the fricking waste of time RMA!. All it does is add costs to projects that will happen regardless. The SWDC don't have the balls to enforce their minimal restrictions- as all the locals know. So the locals will continue to hose down their fences & driveways during the middle of summer without fear of penalty. To the locals- don't bother to call your local councilors. It ain't entirely their fault. The non-elected 'officials' are the ones running out of control. Think about that last point...

On divorce

Every now and again I see something saying that yet another person I know has seperated/divorced.

As often as not I know that these are good people.

Not some feckless twats that have just played the French card after a few months.

I can't help but wonder why I have remained married. Apparently, the odds of remaining married ( with an Autistic child) are less than 20% in the 5 year period.

Like Han Solo in SW4- NEVER tell me the odds!

Perhaps I took the vows literally...

No future- for you

I was sent a link to this story by Crusader Rabbit.

Bloody depressing stuff- well, it would be if it didn't make my friggin' blood boil! I would like to put them out of their misery with one through the back of the head!

"Known as the "Shameless" family among horrified neighbours, the McFaddens "boast" three generations of adults who are not working.

All ten members of the clan share a council house and live off benefits amounting to around £32,000 a year. And very happy they are, too..."

This sorry shower of shite are in the UK- I wish the local spineless media would do a few stories on our home-grown variety of leech. Of course, there is a high probability of them being brown or brindle, so the gods of PC would be offended. There are a bunch of them up the road- every sunny day they are out front drinking beer and RTD's all day long. Work is something that happens to somebody else!

They are a classic case of the belief in 'Entitlement' that is becoming more and more entrenched here- we are just 1-2 generations behind the Brit's- and these sorts have a far shorter period between those generation, breeding to a 16-year cycle!

This one in particular bugs the crap out of me:

"Steven left school 23 years ago and has worked for only five years in that time. It's 12 years since he last had a job. Steven lives in Swansea with partner Donna, 24, who's never worked, and their daughter Celsea, three. His eldest daughter from a previous partner, 17-year-old Jessica, is also on benefits.

Steven says: "Mum never really made us think about work. I did do a plumbing YTS scheme after school. They paid £27 a week, but it was so boring looking at pipes and sinks all day. When I told my dad I was bored, he said I should never stick with a job I didn't like.

"So, eventually, in my 20s, I thought: "I've tried security work and plumbing and I've even been a taxi driver for six months, but I just don't like working". My mates all left school and became mechanics, sweating it out in stinking, dirty garages for a couple of hundred quid a week.

"I'm much better off than any of them. The highlight of their day is going to the bakery to get a pasty for lunch and they've aged 20 years from the stress of working for a pittance and being stuck indoors all day. It's my right to claim benefits. We're all entitled to do what we want in life.

"I could have trained as a fireman or something, but I didn't want the responsibility. All I've ever wanted is to chill out and have easy money. All my family and friends live in council houses - my parents included..."

Yeah, I would like to spend the rest of my life under a shady tree drinking beer- I have to settle for doing it in the weekend after my chores here are done. There is a convenient branch on my shady apple tree that is just right to hang that idle fucker from!

Public 'Holidays'

There has been a lot of fuss about shops opening- or wanting to open- 365 days a year.

I can't see what the fuss is all about. There are already a hell of a lot of us working 365 (366 days this year)

It doesn't matter how 'special' the day may be to some- they still expect essential workers to turn out. Hear a Cop or a fireman moaning about working Christmas and they will soon be told that they must have known that this would be part of the job. We all know that- and there are a lot of us for whom the job never stops. We well know it 'goes with the job'

Why are shop workers different? They know that modern retailing is as near as to a 365 p/a job- so don't cry about them 'being forced' to work.

Coming back to the sacredness of some days- they sure ain't so precious that *EVERYONE* HAS to take a day off!

Although it may be interesting to have an 'Essential Workers' day off.

Going without us for a day may make some appreciate what you have- and who makes it happen!

Home D for a Pervert

"Three teenage girls who were indecently assaulted by their Auckland teacher say their education and confidence were severely dented by the offending.

A jury last month found Smith guilty of four charges of indecent assault and two of sexual conduct against a girl under 16.

The charges related to three girls between the ages of 12 and 16 and happened between 2002 and 2006..."

Link:

IMNSHO, a person who abuses a position of trust should get the book thrown at them, not a slapping with a wet bus ticket!

I've seen guys locked up for a lot less!

There is a hell of an outcry when a cop is tried for being a dirty sleaze and they are vilified by the media. Why should a schoolteacher get any less?

SNAFU ahoy!

"The Government is proposing a new national environmental standard for freshwater resources which it says will be like a regulation on its use."

Great- another regulation and following the usual trend- one that will make the situation worse than it already is!

This is yet another blatant admission that the POS Resource Management Act DOESN'T BLOODY WORK! THIS act is meant to manage water take.

The only thing all these loads of bollocks do is RAISE THE BLOODY PRICE OF THE RESOURCES. Correction- and increase the power and cost of of local government.

It's called 'Passion Fingers Syndrome'- everything they touch, they.... well you can figure out the rest!

Reason #478849 not to like local (or the other) government

They get dumbass ideas like this:

A painting- what the hell are you 'thinking'!

This is not why we pay rates aka TAX.

WE want water, sewers, roads and a few parks. That's IT!

What they are talking about amounts to the tax on TWENTY properties. Twenty Ratepayers have to cough up $1300 (the going rate here) apiece for a bloody painting!

Hold a friggin' raffle- have a cake stall.

Or dare I say it- if you think it is a good idea- dig deep into YOUR OWN pockets.

Heads up!

Nightline TV3- 10:30PM Thursday 20th for a look at Trail's End 2008!

Update:

Video here

Masterton Hospital

Some members of the public service have a useful-indeed valuable- place in our world.

My heartfelt thanks for making an unpleasant experience no more unpleasant than it needed to be!

When I'm clobbering the public service- some are excluded unless specifically mentioned- you are one of those groups!

Unwilling compromise

The powers that be don't like us protecting ourselves and the police head shed don't like the idea of us outgunning them (not hard)

Heres an idea from out of the box:

Cap & ball pistols are OK for self-defense and public carry- with the proviso that you must pass a qualification similar to that of the police to carry in public.

These firearms are not something that can be easily used without a fair bit of dedication and practice. Some wanker finding one and trying to make it go bang is most likely to lose a hand. Hell, most of them couldn't pick up a correctly loaded piece and make it go bang!

Fat friggin' chance in a nanny state that doesn't even approve of citizens having pepper spray....

A new pleasure!

4 1/2 pounds of steel and wood. 60 grains of FFFG pushing a 147 grain lead ball rather fast and with lots of smoke, flame and noise!

No doubt this has a HUGE carbon footprint!

The Walker Colt was the worlds most powerful handgun until the .357 came along in the 1930's

And now I have one!

Update:

I fired up that hog-leg today and it's as good as they said. Being such a big smoker, the recoil is negligible- it has the power of a .357, but shoots like a .38 S&W!

Next step is to try it on paper, then to try and find a holster for it- A couple of local wits have suggested a carbine bag!

Up yours asshole!

"This drought is a regional event and your region has been hit hard but you're likely to cope  it's not the end of the world," Agriculture Minister Jim Anderton said yesterday at the drought committee meeting in Masterton.

He was visiting drought-stricken areas of Wairarapa, including Pahiatua and Greytown, before returning to the Beehive last night..."

Not the end of the world to you-ya wanker.

YOUR income is secure you arsewipe parasite. Take a look at how many farmers have topped themselves.

DO you know how that feels? To know how people are driven to total desperation and kill themselves because nobody appear to be helping or wants to know.

You are as useless a minister as you were a parent!

Cleanout day

Today I'm sitting at home drinking Klean-Prep (It doesn't say I CAN'T flavor it with Tequila!)

Not eating is a drag and that continues until Friday night.

The nasty part of colonic cleaning hasn't started yet, but that can't be too far away.

Tomorrow it's time to meet the Anal Intruder. I hope the medication is good- I want total sensory deprivation AND backup drugs!

Franchise chains

Take a good store and fill it with wage slaves who know feck all about the products they make little attempt to sell.

Hunting and Fishing would be the latest example I have struck.

Today we went there, as the wife was interested in a particular rifle advertised in their advertiser magazine.

"Have you got one to look at?"

"No"

"when are they coming?"

"If someone orders one"

"I don't buy stuff I haven't seen"

"Oh"

Kiss at least a grand good-buy wage slave.

We need to clean out the public service, so they can fill the jobs fruit picking, the fruit-pickers can replace the dung-gatherers- WHO CAN THEN STAFF THE FRICKIN SHOPS!

More PC twittery

Godwins 'Law'

The PC set love this- the idea that anyone who makes comparison to Hitler or the Nazis in general has automatically 'lost' the argument.

Some annoying little twat (who is not worthy of linking) pulled this card over at Whaleoils blog the other day, confirming MY theory that anyone that invokes Godwins Law has no penis.

Originally, this 'Law' was referring to hyperbole and has been adopted by the shirt-lifters of the left, irked at the inconvenient comparisons of their heroes to the swastika-wearing socialists. (It's OK to make reference to Bushchimphitler, mind.

I think what stings most is that these comparisons are getting frighteningly close to truth and are no longer hyperbole. The obsession with erosion of rights, suppression of freedom of speech- need I go on!

This has become another insidious bit of PC- the attempt to shut down discussion the moment someone is labeled a brown shirt wearer.

The PC set take the view that anyone who criticizes or labels a practice PC is uninformed, ignorant and uneducated.

BULLSHIT. The average Trev on the street has a pretty fair idea what PC is and he doesn't like it- even if he can't describe it.

He probably hasn't heard of Godwins law but could clearly and concisely tell you where to stick it!

Not PC

There has been a lot of waffle about PC on kiwiblog.

Some twat says that those who use this term use it when talking about stuff they don't understand.

I understand throwing a 68 year old woman off a bridge is bad. Saying I would like to open a can of whoop-ass on the black prick that threw her off is probably defined as not PC and probably redneck vigilante hate-speech.

So be it. I would still like to play king of the bridge with Mr Sambo Darkie Coon.

I know I'm being offensive. Throwing a pensioner of a bridge is more so.

If you don't like that- please feel free to go fuck yourself.

Cretins at play

A call from a tramper in the Tararua Range who claimed his friend had been stabbed has left police stumped.

The 111 call, made from a cellphone at 5.20am on Thursday, first went through to the ambulance service.

The caller said that he was in the Tararuas between One Tree Hill in the Featherston area and Jumbo Hut in the Carterton area.

Link:

That is just slightly better than giving their LOC as 'Directly over the center of the Earth'

Let's hope a fat bill for wasting police time(AKA taxpayers money) and a good kick up the arse is forthcoming!

But I'm not hopeful...

Bugger!

Missed!

Coming up soon..

Cry me a friggin' river...

This scrote thinks his eight year sentence was too harsh for stealing 3.48 million.

Bollocks!

For a start- he won't do eight years.

Second- you don't get rewarded because the loot you nicked was recovered, you pleaded guilty or cooperated with the police. That should just save you from more time.

Third- some of that friggin' money was mine!


This prick likes to live off the taxpayer, so now he gets what he wanted. Rent & board provided for the next couple of years!

I believe that he should be spending his sentence at very hard labour so he can learn what work is, have 'Thief' branded on his forehead and be NEVER given another benefit for ANY reason.

And now for something completely different!

Having done a deep and meaningful post elsewhere, I'm out of time so here is some eye-candy!

The bottom of the barrel

We are well and truly there when it comes to employment.

This is why my last post details the slovenliness of the staff hired by the previous establishment.

So often now those hiring don't even do cursory checks of new staff- because they know they will get nobody else- the best they can hope for is that a decent worker is currently between jobs.

Locally, I know of one who was fired for thieving and is now in another job handling money. No checks made there- not even a phone call to the last employer.

The next time you are at a supermarket and wonder why there are long lines and unmanned checkouts- it's because they can't get staff- at least those who turn up every day.

Fruit rots on tree and vine because nobody is there to pick it ($12.50/hr doesn't exactly help here, mind)

The shonkey cleaners on 'Target' are only going to get worse!

Then there is the attitude that 'entry- point' positions are beneath them. Once they were considered opportunities...

Fast food disapointments- BK Paraparaumu

Usually Burger King are reliable- the burgers are the best mass-produced fast food out there- and in this case they were of the usual acceptable standard for factory fodder.

HOWEVER- the Paraparaumu BK itself proved to be a poorly run example of why we have Council lackeys inspecting such places (without any effect, of course)

This place had low standards, which they failed to achieve. The floor looked like they were experimenting with using soft drink residue to increase traction and reduce slip hazards. It reminded me of the Trentham Camp Baggies Bar, where years of coagulated beer prevented one slipping over when wearing Nomads and one walked with a squelching sound.

Normally a BK is sparking and a model of cleanliness. This one was grimy- the buildup of filth on the window frames gave evidence that this was an on-going problem. The aged piece of lettuce on the back of my seat had obviously been there for some time, going by it's advance state of decomposition. (it was grey)

We arrived at noon. During the extended wait while they stuffed up a simple order, a slattern arrived to clear the tables of debris and spread the bacteria evenly with a sponge that had not been recently acquainted with hot water or disinfectants.

The children's play area had been overrun with feral kiddies who gave indications of having passed puberty, even if they had never hit the median score on an IQ test.

The soft drink station was awash with spilled crud and scattered straws. An endless precession of the mindless continued to fill assorted containers- non purchased on the premises with the sugared stimulant of choice. The staff seemed oblivious to this.

As is not uncommon, I had to badger the minimum wage workers for the remainder of our order that they had previously agreed to deliver [insert Tui ad here]

Now all the other BK's I have patronized have been good- clean and efficient and this is not to say I recommend avoiding them- just that hole of pestilence at Paraparaumu!