Here's one for Lindsay!

The teacher asks for a show of hands from those who could use the word "lovely" in the same sentence twice. Little Johnny, sitting in back, waves his arm frantically. The teacher ignores him.

She calls on little Suzie, who said, "My father bought my mother a lovely dress and she looked lovely in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.

Next was little Michael. "My mummys an artist, and she painted a lovely painting of a lovely model" The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!"

Then, she reluctantly called on little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Lovely, thats just f*cking lovely!"