Saturday, June 09, 2007

And it did come to pass...

Many moons ago (1989) I did predict that music would come upon a plug-in RAM chip and the unbelievers did gnash their teeth and say that I was full of it!

And the MP3 player did come forth and I did say 'that's bloody close enough' and bade the unbelivers to do an unspeakable act.

And the cellular telephone did appear and I sayth that one day they would be in every hand and be pay as you speak and not on a plan.

And the unbelivers did roll about in a palsy and sayth that I knew not what I spoke off.

And the Prepaid did issue forth and humble the worshipers of GOATSEE.

Then the video phone was sent amongst us and the shallow ones did say 'This will fly like a lead zeppelin' and I said 'Bollocks- I can think of five applications off the top of my head'

And again I did smite the evil ones with the TRUTH

And they did say that 'nobody likes a smart-arse'

And they did utter that I should get what god did to the sodomites.

And I did state that it could not be worse than what the Sodomites did to each other. And bade them return to their Betamax and Teletext machines.

Here endth the lesson...

11 comments:

KG said...

Thou ranteth in the wilderness among Philistines and it profiteth you not.

Leonidas said...

Oh, Holy seer, thou cometh un-looked for!. Pray tell, we who humbly beseech thou guidance, what portents of the sacrificial entrails doth reveal?. Will the harvest be good this year?. Will the Black Plague of Socialism end?. or will the sky fall on our heads?.

Oswald Bastable said...

I predict that more pain is needed yet...

KG said...

pessimistic bloody seer we've got here, Leonidas,
Better check his employment contract...
Either that or sacrifice another goat.

Oswald Bastable said...

They shall cast down the evil red god and take up the banner of the SMURF.

His outer rainment shall be of blue, but it shall come to pass that his nether regions are clad in PINK.

And the evil ones works shall live on and the taxman shall still taketh, as he knows not how to stay his hand.

And there shall be a great wailing and gnashing of teeth across the land and both side will cry out in anguish.

Thats about the best we have to look forward too.

Here endth the lesson...

KG said...

Gawd! give the seer a stiff scotch. He's getting to close to the Truth That Cannot Be Admitted!

KG said...

"too" close, that is.Too many stiff scotches here already.

Leonidas said...

Tis' not the taxman I fear, for his arm is long and sodomizes everyone with his weapon "G.S.T.". Tis' the Dark Lord of Mordor (A.K.A. Reserve Bank)whose torturous extraction of ones will to live, with his weapon of cruel malice, and his desire to bend inflationary spending to his will, punishing homeowners until they become broken things, ghastly wraiths, mere imitations of their glorious creation

julie said...

Does the seer knoweth weekends lotto numbers?

Oswald Bastable said...

Yes, there will be seven of them and thay shall be between one and Forty

Caprox said...

And from amidst the people that did wail and gnasheth their teeth a man did come forth. And he spaketh words to the people, and he said: "Do not practice the gnashing of the teeth, for it shall breaketh thy enamel, and causeth thou to have damage to thy teeth, and the affliction of cavities and tooth decay, and premature tooth loss, and verily shall it costheth thou to have thy teeth repaired, and it shall burden you greatly".
And the people cryed out to the man, "How doth thouest know of such things"?
And the man speaketh again "For I am a Dental Health Specialist, and I come to warn you of visions I have, and if thou do not turn from your gnashing ways, and if thouest fails to keep thy Medical Insurance Premiums paid, then thouest shall be cast into a pit of endless medical bills that shall be like a plague upon you" ;)