Cooking for Real Blokes

We don't need no stinkin' microwaves!

An E-Book Review 'Which Art In Hope' Francis W. Porretto

This work stands out as a gem on Smashwords- where unfortunately there is an abundance of cringe-inducing dreck! Such is the price of freeing us all from the gatekeepers of the publishing houses- and one man's dreck is another's romantic fiction!

Heinlien's anarchist/libertarian societies with Julian May's mental adepts!

The tale, set 1200 years into the future, is on a world now home to refugees from earth, who have fled earth's oppressive governments. (If anyone has spare places on such a trip, please contact me!)

The author explore the conflicts between lovers of freedom and those who deliberately or unwittingly impose obligations and duties on others using the 'justification' of the insidious 'for the greater good'

I won't say too much more as I hate to give away a story!

Once I got started, I was stuck to the screen and damned if there wasn't a tear in my eye at the end of the story. Not many manage that!

Francis Porretto is an author destined to go far!

Nowhere else but at Smashwords are such quality tales available so cheaply, so spend up!

Available Here at Smashwords

Two Pathetic Sentences

The victim loses a leg, the perp gets home detention.

The one here gets two years for killing someone driving pissed.

I don't hear a lot of outrage at these pitiful sentences.

But shoot a delicious plump-breasted pigeon...

Perspective. Where is it?

OK, shooting 'protected' wildlife is a no-no.

But hell, perhaps the 'righteously outraged' try hunting down nonces who travel overseas to practice their vile perversions with such vigour!

UN dicklickers

"The Police Association says the United Nations Human Rights Committee is out of touch, after it criticised police adoption of Tasers.

The committee has suggested he Government "should consider relinquishing the use of electro-muscular disruption devices", and ensure officers only use stun guns on people in incidents where they would otherwise need to shoot to kill..."

Now exactly how many votes did the UN get in our last general election?

Oh- thats right- NONE.

Which is exactly how much say you get in how we run our affairs.

Amusing

...Site on office life and why I don't do that shit anymore

Stuff you won't find in my safe

Above the call of duty.

Shopping for clothing is one step above a tip to the dentist. I'm not talking a quick scrape & polish here, either. I'm talking difficult extraction that involves sutures, antibiotics and a hefty bill.

Having to follow along while somebody else shops is worse.

Especially when it is in a shop like this one.

OK, the wife likes to go and cherry-pick the labels. So do a host of people who on-sell on trademe, so the bargins are few and far between- which involves frequent visits.

I can imaging few worse ways of spending a few hours of a day off. The rows of musty, ugly clothing produce a great lowness of spirit and sense of hopelesness as one strolls along second-hand junk from the warehouse. Invariably when a superior garment is found, it is of a size that only an anorexic in the final stages of their illness could fit.

Gloomy lines of shiney suits that you know used to belong to now dead men stretch off into the distance. They weren't good enough to be buried in, or were purchased for a thinner man forty years ago.

Shirts in red, orange and yellow beckon forth, looking to my eyes like the flames of hell. I'm fairly sure none were ever actually worn. I want to believe that!

Off to the side, near the entrance, are shelves of what is optimisticlly called bric-a-brac. Tat so dreadful that the $2 shop would be embarrased to sell it. It obviously sells, or it wouldn't be there. While poor people may have little choice when purchasing essentials like oven trays for reheating chips and Irvines Pies, none of this stuff is what you might call essential. Chipped wooden bowls, old sauce bottles and crap that is to tasteless to even be considered retro.

The used book section occasionaly has some gems, but not yesterday- just a heap of management style books for wannabe self-improving Amway salesmen.

By now I could smell sulphur and was waiting for the floor to crack and a pit open up, but I think that was just the staff having morning tea. If I had to work in such a place, I would throw myself into the rag baler!

The Keeper of the Gate stood watch from one of those quaint old counters that puts the Guardian of the Registar and minions well above the level of the Unwashed. For good reason, from what I saw prowling about. I would be the sort of workplace where knowing how to use your fists would to your advantage in the area of customer relations.

I left in such a fit of dark depression that could only otherwise be achieved by a trip to Pak&Save or the Warehouse in December...

MERDE!

Hat Tip- Sean Linnane

and I bet there was!

Tell the hippies to go die

and light up your life on Saturday at 2030!

That's eight-thirty at night for you uneducated types.

Let's celebrate mans conquest of the dark and cold- bugger this shivering in a dark mud hut that the greenies would have us do (apart from the chose few faithfull, of course)

Turn on the 50" plasma, the outdoor floodlights, the electric blanket and crank the heat pump up!

ANYTHING that pisses a hippy off is good. Whn a hippy is pissed off, I am a happy camper!

And hippy scum- remember that water and sewerage need electricity to move about town. Don't drink, pee or crap in that hour! Also feel free to remove yourself from the drain on the earth- cut ALONG the veins, not across!

Too much realism

"A 4D cinema, complete with moving seats and spraying water, hopes to top the blue aliens of Avatar with the white ice of Antarctica when it opens in Christchurch.

The four-dimensional theatre will open at the International Antarctic Centre in November with a movie about Antarctica filmed especially for the cinema..."

Ain't it clever what they can do nowadays!

Although they want to leave the SMELL of the penguins out.

The little bastards stink to the high heavens!

Poor bloody beneficiaries

So:

You will have to report in to a case manager more often.

I have to report in every day. That is called turning up to work.

You will have to prove you are making an effort to find work.

I have to make an effort to stay employed every day.

You will have to stay drug-free to hold a job.

Welcome to the world of workplace piss-testing- which I have no problem with!

You will have to find after school child care.

Yep, welcome to that too!

You will have your pay docked to pay for those who don't/won't work.

Schadenfreude!

Idlers and wasters up front NOW

"The Government is taking aim at 43,000 solo parents who it says should go back to work.

Prime Minister John Key and Social Development Minister Paula Bennett have this afternoon unveiled a major package of welfare reforms.

Ms Bennett said that for some beneficiaries "the dream is over".

There were 43,000 single parents on the domestic purposes benefit whose children were of a school age and who were ready to transition back to work..."

I will believe it when I see it.

Get real and start talking limited time on a benefit.

No more money for additional spawning.

Compulsory contraception/sterilization for beneficiaries (and yes, I include males too!)

I don't want to hear of another repackaging effort!

Roll 'em!

As long is there is a restoration plan, go for it!

Rip those minerals out and grind the greenies under your tracks!

The trouble with new toys

Pioneers:

They are the silly bastards with arrows sticking out of their backs!

Maybe I will wait until the new Ipad has been on the market for a while.

Same goes for 3D tv, but more so...

Not so far from being cavemen

I say this often, but it bears repeating.

Folks just DO NOT realize how fragile is the infrastructure that makes modern life possible.

Or that there are many thousands of people out there around the clock and in every kind of weather keeping it going.

They have no idea of how long the food stocks in a town will last (about a day) without constant replenishment.

How often they are minutes from running out of water, having sewers flow down the street or the one service station (you do get actual real SERVICE at our one) in town runs out of fuel.

But let the trains be a few minutes late or facebook go down for a few hours... world coming to a frickin' end, you would think

This week has been one of those interesting ones.

One where potential problems were identified decades ago, yet nothing was done.

Until AFTER the big SNAFU...

Bad Goldstein!

"A former ASB banker who stole $18 million from customers and blew $3.4 million of it on prostitutes has been sentenced to six years in jail..."

3.4 megabucks! That is a LOT of dirty gals!

Has anyone else noted that the more an outfit advertises, the more likely they are to have skeletons in the closet?

Or a frickin' ossuary!

Homework

A load of unnecessary bollocks given to kids in order to piss their parents off!

Those that need the extra work probably won't get any help at home, as often as not and the others are probably reading and doing educational activities anyway.

I find the chore of ticking off checklists and badgering a reluctant kid to work a pain in the bum. Too much like working for corrections.

I prefer reading a book together or watching Discovery and talking about what is on a better way to learn- or games like scrabble, trivial pursuits or suchlike.

Not reading some crap PC schoolbook!

Fund your own bloody sports!

The Nats get my approval for telling the sports nuts to bugger off!

Hosting these major sporting events should be left to those who want to watch and participate, NOT the ever-suffering taxpayers!

Get you friggin' hands out of my pockets!

On the subject of MP's and kids on aircraft.

People are missing the point here.

MP's- who get to dictate how we live- have a duty to conduct themselves in a manner that sets an example.

[yeah, the reality is 'Insert Tui ad here'- but is it too much to expect leaders to lead?]

And then depression set in...

Yes, back to work today.

The one good thing about maintaining plant owned by those pre-disposed to sub-optimal performance, is that one has a certain degree of job security. Even if it is sorting out the aftermath of a visit form Mister Cock-up.

Todays bit of fun was locating valves not seen since last century. 'Workers' used to bury such things and not mark the location, as a form of job security. Then the indispensable ones were dispensed with and the valves and pipes were lost. Of course the plans bear no relation to where the actual bits are. A bit like trying to dig up bits of the London Underground using the map provided for the commuters.

But thanks to a metal detector and a shovel, the absent parts were soon found and more amazingly- still worked!

And people wondered why folks would just agree to disappear off on a time-traveling adventure without a second thought...

Fat bastards

"An American woman who already weighs 273 kilos is on a mission to become the fattest woman in the world.

The Daily Mail reported that Donna Simpson, who already weighs 273 kilograms, wants to reach 450kg in just two years..."

The 'why' is not the issue.

The issue is 'Who Pays?'

The she-mountain better be doing well with her internet sick puppy audience who pay to watch her eat!

But in the real world we know better.

Muggins taxpayer (wherever she is) will wind up footing the bill for what is nothing but a self-inflicted illness.

Hopefully she will choke on a block of lard first!

So many toys, so little cash

I was sooooo tempted...

No place for townies

It was a rugged weekend, with a major storm coming through on Friday night. Trees down everywhere, but no major damage done.

I had a fun couple of hours keeping the tents attached to the ground!

But after a couple of hours storming, the wind dropped and the stars came through- so it was light a fire time, dry out and pass the whiskey bottles around.

The good life!

Gone Shootin'

I'm off for my annual pilgrimage to Trail's End for five days of sixguns, whiskey and howlin' at the moon.

I may return...

Lateness equals rudeness

Had the day off today and took the boys to school.

We got there about five minutes before the bell went, in plenty of time to get bags hung up and orbit the playground a couple of times. When the bell went, they went in and I hung about while the wife did some board of trustees stuff with the principal.

Over the next ten minutes, a steady stream of kids arrived late. Not the whining schoolboy with his satchel and shining morning face, creeping like snail, unwillingly to school. No- they were ALL driven there.

Also notable was the fact that the tardiest were not parent burdened by paid employment.

Lateness, more so the persistant kind (and these offenders were usually late, I have since been informed) is RUDENESS.

It shows a lack of consideration for others, whom they know full well are waiting on them.

One more of the key symptoms of a society in decline.

The lack of MANNERS!

No place for thickos

University SHOULD be hard to get into.

It has become a lifestyle choice for far too many- four years of pissing up and a Mc Degree or just a plain failure (that's DNQ these days)

All at the long-suffering taxpayers expense, in wasted teaching resources and student loans that will never be repaid.

Back in my day, one had to pass hard examinations to be admitted to university.

As it should be now.

Those who are admitted should, with a bit of dilligence, have every expectation of passing their courses. Back then, they even were known to find time for the odd party ;-)

And having a degree actuaslly mean something.

Now it's been watered down to meaning about the same as a good School Certificate pass.

With the exception of the 'REAL' courses- engineering, medicine, law ( yes, I know!)

Of course the problem is not entirely dull & thirsty student wannabbes or the parents of Jimmy Dull who need their little darling dullard to have the prestige of a degree (which they would have got if the system wasn't against them in their day!)

University staff want more bums on seats as that means a bigger empire, thus more funding and pay. Can't blame them for trying, like my kids would live on a diet of icecream and chips, they need their masters to keep them in line. Now its time for a big serving of veges!

E*A*R*N your entry to higher education!

Sterilization- hell yes!

A few shrills start crying 'Nazi' and that makes an idea bad/

No.

For one, this is not being offered up as a punishment for being poor, mad or brown. EXCEPT and I want to make this crystal-clear- EXCEPT when used as part of a sentence for the heinous crime of child abuse. And I ain't talking a smack on the bum here, Systematic cruelty as seen in so many court cases recently.

For the rest, it is an OPTION- a way to get out of this childbearing that seems so onerous, yet so unavoidable. Heaven knows that cheap (often totally taxpayer-funded, readily available and effective contraception should let them manages this, but it doesn't. A way for the tireless tomcats who spray their seed willy-nilly to do so, with no more concern than catching some fatal illness from one of the local sperm buckets.

On the subject of OPTIONS- conceiving whilst on a benefit should not be one. No more money for having more kids! Better they take a cash incentive to fix the problem for good.

And one point so far overlooked.

A reversal is ENTIRELY at their own expense and the incentive money must be repaid!

Tell a big lie in return

"Iran's hard-line President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Saturday called the official version of the Sept. 11 attacks a "big lie" used by the US as an excuse for the war on terror, state media reported.."

So send them a correction notice.

Write it on the side of a couple of Polaris missiles.

Tell the world it was them blowing their dozen largest cities up, by way of trying to incite Jihad!

Non-news

"Drivers could be forced to have compulsory screening for alcohol if they are involved in a car accident.

Officials have suggested the Government consider requiring all drivers involved in crashes to be subject to a compulsory breath or blood alcohol test..."

New flash for the 'Officials'- this has been happening for years!

I have been in two injury 'accidents' in the past-1991 and 2002- and in both occasions was breath-tested.

I might add that there was NEVER any doubt that the other driver was totally at fault.

One ran a red light and the other was pissed and on the wrong side of the road.

They don't make them like this anymore!

Video quality is crap, but this one set the standard for music videos way back early eighties!

UPDATE:
OK- found a better clip!

Neutering Numpties

Much as I am not in favour of taxpayers money being flung about, I believe that the neutering of those who deem five grand more important than offspring money well-spent.

Now I'm not just talking about crap parents- all comers here.

For those on welfare- sterilization or a contraceptive implant must be a condition of feeding at the taxpayer-funded trough. Set a qualifying period for sterilization, say- of one year out of work before this is invoked.

The cost benefits of neutering are huge.

No more brood sows popping cash-producing pups.
Sperm-spraying deadbeat drop-kicks,who couldn't care one way or the other grab at the cash- and remove their flawed seed from the shallow end of the gene pool.
Less funds lost applying band-aid solutions to lifes rejects and failures and the drain on the education, health, policing and corrections resources.

I mean, why do folk talk about eugenics like it is a bad thing?

Why should leeches have human rights!

For WHAT!

"Thieves caused about $20,000 worth of damage in a ram raid at a Hamilton dairy early this morning – all for a box a beer..."

It's worse that, Jim- they stole a box of LION RED!

Hang them- they are dead from the neck up already!

Changes to the give way rules

I need a new vehicle!

Hell, the rules were changed in 1977 and STILL people don't understand them!

Changing back will cause twice the confusion amongst the permanently baffled.

Good news for panel-beaters

Health Nazis in the UK

IMPRISONED for not stopping people smoking in his pub (actually, for not paying the health nazi's whopping fine)!

"...Nick was actually jailed for non-payment of the fine originally imposed for a 'mass smoke-in' on the day the ban came into force in 2007 in his pub, the 'Swan and Barristers' in Bolton. He no longer has that pub. He was fined again when council inspectors walked into his present pub and discovered a group of customers smoking - Nick wasn't even on the premises..."

Hat Tip Old Holoborn

How long before this happens here?

The ASH busy-bodies will be getting a semi over this news, I'm sure!

Coming to a country near YOU soon!

If you can spare a quid, that would be appreciated- otherwise show your support by punching a council apparatchik!