Things you can't do/say when in the Armed Forces

1. Not allowed to watch South Park when I’m supposed to be working.
2. My proper military title is ‘Specialist Schwarz’ not ‘Princess Anastasia’.
3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
4. Not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
6. Not allowed to play ‘Pulp Fiction’ with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.
7. Not allowed to add ‘In accordance with the prophesy’ to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don’t like to War Criminal posters.
9. Not allowed to title any product ‘Get Over it’.
10. Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on Government time.
11. Not allowed to join the communist party.
12. Not allowed to join any militia.
13. Not allowed to form any militia.
14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to ‘Sic Brass!’
16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my ‘Sampson like powers’.
17. God may not contradict any of my orders.
18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous ‘Barbie Girl Dance’ while on duty.
19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I’m right.
20. Must not taunt the French any more.
21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.
23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack.
24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it’s true.
25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.
26. Never tell a German soldier that ‘We kicked your butt in World War II!’
27. Don’t tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).
28. Don’t take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).
29. The Irish MPs are not after ‘Me frosted lucky charms’.
30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
35. Not allowed to sing ‘High Speed Dirt’ by Megadeth during airborne operations. (’See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I’m off to meet my maker’)
36. Can’t have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn’t over).
37. Our medic is called ‘Sgt Larwasa’, not ‘Dr. Feelgood’.
38. Our supply Sgt is ‘Sgt Watkins’ not ‘Sugar Daddy’.
39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
40. I do not have super-powers.
41. ‘Keep on Trucking’ is *not* a psychological warfare message.
42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind’s baser instincts in recruitment posters.
43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
44. I am not the atheist chaplain.
45. I am not allowed to ‘Go to Bragg boulevard and *due to popular demand…removed….*
46. I am not authorized to fire officers.
47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.
48. I may not use *BLEEEP* as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for ‘magic beans’.
50. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.
51. Not allowed to quote ‘Dr Seuss’ on military operations.
52. Not allowed to yell ‘Take that Cobra’ at the rifle range.
53. Not allowed to quote ‘Full Metal Jacket ‘ at the rifle range.
54. ‘Napalm sticks to kids’ is *not* a motivational phrase.
55. An order to ‘Put Kiwi on my boots’ does *not* involve fruit.
56. An order to ‘Make my Boots black and shiny’ does not involve electrical tape.
57. The proper response to a lawful order is not ‘Why?’
58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, * umm….*, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Eskimo Nell, we’ve all got jackboots now, *some dirty vietnam thing* , or any references to squid.
59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.
60. ‘The Giant Space Ants’ are not at the top of my chain of command.
61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean ‘I have been promoted three more times than you’.
62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.
63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.
64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay.
65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed.
66. There is no ‘Anti-Mime’ campaign in Bosnia.
67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.
68. I may not line my helmet with tin foil to ‘Block out the space mind control lasers’.
69. May not pretend to be a facist stormtrooper, while on duty.
70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.
71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command.
72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty.
73. No military functions are to be performed ‘Skyclad’. This one is still funny…
75. May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.
76. "Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around" is *not* a cadence.
77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don’t need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."
78. I may not call block my chain of command.
79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.
80. Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions.
82. May not form any press gangs.
83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with "I recently had an experience I just had to write you about…."
84. Must not use military vehicles to ‘Squish’ things.
85. Not allowed to make any Psychological Warfare products depicting the infamous Ft. Bragg sniper incident.
86. May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the ‘field of honor’.
87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
88. Must not refer to 1st Sgt as ‘Mom’.
89. Must not refer to the Commander as ‘Dad’.
90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection. This one’s still funny because it’s makin' fun of all them rednecks. I love makin fun of rednecks. Speakin of…I’ll post a little story from Basic that was pretty funny…
91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.
92. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony ‘Romper Bomper Stomper Boo’ is probably not appropriate.
93. Nerve gas is not funny.
94. Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that.
95. I am not in need of a more suitable host body.
96. ‘Redneck Zombies’ is not a military training aid.97. Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator.
98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not ‘Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.’
99. A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.
100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.
101. I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.
102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war".
103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did.
104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a ‘Cool Mint’ Listerine® bottle is not a good combination.
105. I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve.
106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s.
107. Must not mock command decisions in front of the press.
108. Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI.
109. I am not authorized to change national policy in Eastern Europe.
110. Never, ever, attempt to correct a Green Beret officer about anything.
111. I am not qualified to operate any US, German, Polish, or Russian Armored vehicles.
112. When saluting a ‘leg’ officer, an appropriate greeting is not "Airborne leads the wa- oh…sorry sir".
113. There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from ‘Full Monty’ every time I hear the song "Hot Stuff".
114. I cannot trade my CO to the Russians.
116. Crucifying mice - bad idea.
117. Must not use government equipment to bootleg pornography.
118. Burn pits for classified material are not revel fires - therefore it is wrong to dance naked around them.
119. I cannot arrest children for being rude.
120. An EO briefing is probably not the best place to unveil my newest off color joke.
121. I should not use government resources to ‘waterproof’ dirty magazines.
122. Radioactive material should not be stored in the barracks.
123. I should not teach other soldiers to say offensive and crude things in Albanian, under the guise of teaching them how to say potentially useful phrases.
124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last.125. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.
126. Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.
127. ‘No Drinking Of Alcoholic Beverages’ does not imply that a Jack Daniel’s® IV is acceptable.
128. "Shpadoinkle" is not a real word.
129. The Microsoft® ‘Dancing Paperclip’ is not authorized to countermand any orders.
130. ‘I’m drunk’ is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.
131. No dancing in the turret. This especially applies in conjunction with rule #113.
132. The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas.
133. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to replace the radio.
135. An order to put polish on my boots means the whole boot.
136. Shouting ‘Let’s do the village! Let’s do the whole village!’ while out on a mission is bad.
137. Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.
138. Even if my commander did it.
139. Must not teach interpreters how to make "MRE" bombs.
140. I am not authorized to sell mineral rights.
141. Not allowed to use a broadsword to disprove ‘The Pen is Mightier than the sword’.
142. ‘Calvin-Ball’ is not authorized PT.
143. I do not need to keep a ‘range card’ by my window.
144. ‘K-Pot, LBE, and a thin coat of Break-free’ is not an authorized uniform.
145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.
147. I should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke®.
148. Putting red ‘Mike and Ike’s’® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all in a formation is not funny.
149. Must not create new DOD forms, then insist they be filled out.
150. On Sports Day PT, a wedgie is not considered a legal tackle.
151. The proper way to report to my Commander is ‘Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir’ not ‘You can’t prove a thing!’
152. The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light® batteries.
153. I should not assign new privates to ‘guard the flight line’.
154. Shouldn’t treat ‘bottles’ with extra-strength icy hot.
155. Teaching Albanian children to taunt other soldiers is not nice.*Just innappropriate…*
158. The revolution is not now.
159. When detained by MP’s, I do not have a right to a strip search.
160. No part of the military uniform is edible.
161. Bodychecking General officers is not a good idea.
162. Past lives have absolutely no effect on the chain of command.
163. Take that hat off.
165. I do not get ‘that time of month’.
166. No, the pants are not optional.
167. Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks.
168. Especially not a pornographic movie studio.
169. Not even if they *are* ‘especially patriotic films’.
170. Not allowed to ‘defect’ to OPFOR during training missions.
171. On training missions, try not to shoot down the General’s helicopter.
172. ‘A full magazine(.45 GAP of course) and some privacy’ is not the way to help a potential suicide.
173. I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.
174. Furby ® is not allowed into classified areas. (I swear, I did not make that up, it’s actually DOD policy).
175. We do not ‘charge into battle, naked, like the Celts’.
176. **Due to popular demand…removed as well….man, where do you get this stuff?
177. I am not to refer to a formation as ‘the boxy rectangle thingie’.
179. On Army documents, my race is not ‘Other’.
180. Nor is it ‘Secretariat, in the third’
.181. Pokémon® trainer is not an MOS.
182. There is no FM for ‘wall-to-wall counseling’.
183. My chain of command has neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups®.
184. When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something ‘I saw in a cartoon’.185. My name is not a killing word.
186. I am not the Emperor of anything.
187. Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.
188. May not challenge officers to ‘Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn’. (repeat)
189. Do not dare SERE graduates to eat bugs. They will always do it.
190. Must not make s’mores while on guard duty.
191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.
192. The proper response to a briefing is not ‘That’s what you think’.
193. The Masons, and Gray Aliens are not in our chain of command.
194. Shouldn’t take incriminating photos of my chain of command.
195. Shouldn’t use Photoshop® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command.
196. I am not allowed to give tattoos.
197. I am not allowed to sing ‘Henry the VIII I am’ until verse 68 ever again.
198. Not allowed to lead a ‘Coup’ during training missions.
199. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.
200. My chain of command is not interested in why I ‘just happen’ to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car….heheh… still funny, Mom can ground me on leave when I get home.
201. Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.
202. Despite the confusing similarity in the names, the "Safety Dance" and the "Safety Briefing" are never to be combined.
203. ‘To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is a bad long term goal to give the re-enlistment NCO.
204. NEVER nail a stuffed bunny to a cross and put it up in front of the Battalion Headquarters sign as an "Easter Desecration." ( Hmmm…this one’s close…)205.
Don’t write up false gigs on a HMMWV PMCS. ("Broken clutch pedal", "Number three turbine has frequent flame-outs", "flux capacitor emits loud whine when engaged")
206. Not allowed to get shot.* More Innappropriatenicities….wait…is that spelt right?*
208. Not allowed to play into the deluded fantasies of the civilians who are "hearing conversations" from the NSA, FBI, CIA and KGB due to the microchip the aliens implanted in their brain.
209. An airsickness bag is to be used for airsickness *only*
.210. Must not make T-shirts up depicting a pig with the writing "Eat Pork or Die" in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country.
211. Don’t ask LTC Steele to sign my copy of Blackhawk Down.
212. Must not go on nine deployments in six years that require a security clearance that I don’t have, even if the Army tells me repeatedly that I have one and I have no reason to question them.
213. Do not convince NCO’s that their razorbumps are the result of microscopic parasites.

Wannabe Hobby Farmers!

I have just finished dropping a block of 'firewood trees' The trick with a firewood block is you cut the trees down when they are relatively young ESPECIALLY then they are fricken Gums!

You don't leave them in until the bastards are 600mm across! When they are 150-250 mm in diameter, they are easy to cut up into two metre lengths and put through a firewood saw.

When they are the same size as the main guns on the friggin Bismark, they have to be cut up with a chainsaw and split. This is much harder work and cuts into my drinking time.

It wasn't so bad in the days when I had two working hands.

These bloody townies that come out here buying lifestyle blocks are creating a lot of local work- that is the up-side. Fixing their damn fool mistakes usually.

Generally thay aren't too bad, just green as grass. After a very short time, they discover that a ride-on mower doesn't last long topping 10 hectares, small flocks of sheep(and most animals) cost more than they are worth and that the fences that looked fine when they brought the place are, in fact, crap.

Then there are the other type. They complian about cow shit on the road- a gravel road FFS!, rabbit shooting, milkshed lights and noise, the smell of silage...

Fuckwits!

Arse

fecking upgrades always do this!

Buggrit!

Test

Site makeover

A big Hat-Tip to the good people from GenerationXY for this makeover, especially Townie Fella who cleaned up my template and did the Header Graphics!

They are worth their weight in poteen!

Slonshal!

My new 'Reality' TV Concept

A mention of 'The Running Man on kiwiblog reminded me of an old MSN post:

Welcome to.... Degradation Island!

Today all clothing was removed overnight and replaced with sackcloth. A 'fountain' has appeared in the kitchen area. This life-size replica of Benito Mussolini will dispense a reasonable chardonnay when it's genitalia are manipulated correctly.

10 cubic metres of well-matured rubbish form the local tip as arrived in the yard and must be hand-sorted and bagged for recycling before the showers will be turned on. Hidden in this pile are cans of food, with the labels removed.

The toilet paper has disappeared and has been replaced with newspaper..

tomorrow we bring you "Grovelling for Dollars"!

The game: Plastic bones must be taken from a dog's bowl one one side of the mud wallow, to a dog's kennel on the other side of the wallow. Each bone retrieved gains $20 bucks to the contestants account!

Now the conditions: 1-Bone must be carried in the mouth. 2- the torso must remain in contact with the mud. 3- the legs are tied at the ankles. Game lasts four hours- will their greed go the distance?

Otherwise, to enhance voyeuristic interest in sordid public displays of affection, oil of ylang-ylang has been added to the air conditioning and ginseng and royal jelly supplements have been provided, along with paperback copies of "The Story of O". Ravel's "Bolero" is played subliminally......

tomorrow:
Alternative protein sources save money.


Eating Invertebrates for dollars!

The stakes are high- $1 per gram!

A choice smorgasboard of honeyed Locusts, chocolate cicada, stir-fried worms, Huhu grubs au natural, candied starfish, braised limpits, sea cucumbers and all the other delights our chef Mr Arigato Banzi Deathstar can concoct....

In keeping with this theme, out 'Boss of the week" will dine on Lobster, oysters and Whitebait.
Those wishing to to forgo this delightful repast may grovel before the webcams. Highest polling victim, errr, contestant gets a Happy Meal.


Several contestant have been talking about who to vote out IN BREACH OF THE RULES .

Here on degradation Island, when ONE screws up, we punish EVERYONE!

Overalls with a target between the shoulderblades have been issued. Also, everyone gets a paintball gun with 20 rounds! I guess you can guess that the one who gets the most points(scored on the target) gets Da Boot!

You are exempt being shot at when you are naked...



You get the concept?

Feel free to add on.

The rights are available at a very reasonable price!

The Problem with Drugs

Prohibition.

The price goes through the roof, you have to deal with unsavoury types to get them and often as not wind up stealing to pay for them.

OK, so take away prohibition and sell them as we do alcohol, tobacco and OTC medicine. The price plummets and there is no need to deal with the lowlife that currently supply most of today's market.

The criminal element has just lost it's major source of income- with it their power.

The police are now freed to get on with pursuing crimes against victims. This includes those still stealing to buy their now legal drugs. This will also make it harder for them to directly exchange stolen goods for drugs.

Sounds too simple, doesn't it.

There are other issues.

The naysayers point out the problems we currently have with alcohol abuse and drink-related problems we have now, particularly in youth.

They have a very valid point.

What has been understated by those of us who support the legalising of all drugs is that with an ADULT'S RIGHT to put what you want into their body, They must totally accept the RESPONSIBILITY for that action.

They will pay more for health and life insurance, or be excluded.

They will collect harder penalties for crimes committed under the influence.

Also, they must be protection for minor children. Selling/ supplying drugs to them will attract stiff penalties.

Off-beat movie of the week

Zardoz- 1974- starring Sean Connery


A huge flying stone head that spits out guns and such lines as 'The Gun is good, The Penis is bad'

This one is a doozy!

I recommend the cosumption of mind-altering substances before viewing. (That being what makes a lot of 70's movies work!)

If you have seen it, a humourous recap can be found here:

http://www.agonybooth.com/zardoz/default.asp?Page=1

Copyright for my material

I have recently been asked for permission to quote/post material from my blog.

The answer is YES, as long as there is a link or acknowledgement somewhere on the site.

I write this stuff to be read and entertain and the further it spreads, the better- provided my ego is suitably inflated by being given credit for my work.

Go for it!

"If there is anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now!"- Zaphod Beeblebrox.

Ron Mark strikes the right note

I like Ron Mark, for all that I disagree with a lot of what his party touts- he is the worker of the party and in my opinion, the backbone. I knew him personally before he got into politics- he was the lieutenant least likely to be shot in the back by his own troops!

Today he gets stuck into deadbeat parents and feral children:

WairarapaTimes Age
I'm not impressed with the bit about extra funding for Maori Wardens. I'm against anything being run on racial lines. Give the funding to the police, who may want to open specialist roles for kiddy policing- a sort of social worker with some police powers. The current Maori wardens should apply for these positions. They sound like they should do well in the role.

But here is credit for proposing something- anything- to deal with a rising problem. Out of control dirtbag kids, backed up by bleeding heart lawyers. All rights with no responsibilities.

Most of the 122 seat warmers are too craven to so much as make a suggestion...

Website of the week

'If men have all the power, how come women make the rules"

This site is priceless! You won't find a copy of this book in a library near you. It's too hot for the shops to handle, as well.

Jack Kammer dissects the sisterhood's propaganda brilliantly! Best of all, all he asks in payment for downloading a copy of his book, is that you write a bit of feedback for his work- Just a one-liner is fine. He happily accepts money, too!

http://www.rulymob.com/

Democracy is like gun ownership

It's a real good idea, but should not be available to all and sundry.

As with poteen, democracy is best watered down!
And like gun ownership, it should be the privilege (and the right) of those citizens of good standing in the community. Not for all-comers.

There needs to be a criteria meet, to be a voter.

To own a gun, a citizen needs to be of good character- someone who has never been convicted of a serious crime.

To have a vote, a citizen should also have never been convicted of a serious offence. Furthermore, the citizen should have a vested interest in society. They should own or share title in a property.

On the subject of the criteria for becoming a voting citizen, I would also like to see them having doing time in a public service. As an aside, this could be an option to wiping a student loan debt. Armed forces, civil defense, ambulance, fire service- there are many options.

The criteria could well take other forms, but a screening process to eliminate the non-productive
is needed. The vote for all leads to 'Bread and Circuses'

Know anywhere this is happening?

Crime & Punishment

Reposted:

Apart from a few pre-election posturing sessions, I have seen little policy on addressing crime in NZ.

There is a bit of huffing and puffing about more police and longer sentences- that's about it.

If readers that belong to the political parties take exception, I would point out that if you DO have such policies, you have failed to promote them effectively.

OK, so how about some ideas- I have been freely criticizing, but I also have some solutions for your consideration.

1- Get police policing, not paper-filing and entering data for national office.

2- Get police out of traffic enforcement and regain some respect from the public.

3- Go after crimes with victims. Forget about possession/cultivating cannabis. The lib's have got this right! Go hard on those selling drugs to minors, though.

4- Arm all police with lethal and non-lethal alternatives. Regarding non-lethal- don't try to re- invent the wheel, this stuff has been used for decades overseas.

5- The Judiciary to take direction from their masters. The citizens of NZ, via government.

6- The position of Judge should be a profession in itself, not a lawyers perk.

7- Offenders and punishment- there are steps needed short of imprisonment. Young and first time minor offenders should take their punishment in the full public eye.

Dayglo overalls and chains- being clearly seen by the public do be paying for what they have done. And hopefully shamed by it!

Learn from this!

8- Imprisonment

The reality is that prison (as we have now) is a soul-destroying, harsh and Spartan place. To decent, well-adjusted person, that is. To the revolving door inmate, it's no big deal- the drugs just cost more and the sex is...Different. To modify their behavior, prison has to be a less attractive alternative to the outside. Thus a stricter (not harsher, there is a difference) routine, the minimal privileges earned by hard work and good behavior, not 'as a right.' Privileges, for example, being a job that is out of the weather, a monthly phone call or 'visit', via video link.

Hard?

You bet!

As the old line goes "If you can't do the time, don't do the crime"



9- Confirmed recidivists

The End Of The Road.
A containment facility for confirmed recidivist offenders.

Sited on a bleak off-shore island, this facility is generally reserved for those who have been sentenced to a third term of imprisonment or those convicted of an offense which could currently warrant preventitive detention. A jury must unanimously vote to approve this sentence.

The few buildings are concrete ablution facilities, bunkhouses and guardtowers.
The perimeter is patrolled and secured. Inside the electrified razor wire, the inmates are left to their own devices. Basic subsistence supplies are delivered to the compound. There is no electricity, Water goes in, sewerage goes out.

Selected video footage is displayed at the first offenders facility.
The only way out is to opt for voluntary euthanasia.

10- Why- What we are doing now just isn't working well enough. Rehabilitation is a crock of shit. Maybe it works in the same way a thousand monkeys banging on typewriters will occasionaly produce the odd word.

When is a crim rehabilitated?- when he decides he doesn't want to do the prison thing anymore. Simple as that.

The bleeding hearts have been experimenting and spouting psychobabble for years to no avail. The old hard routine at least had a bit more deterrent value.

These aren't theories just dreamed up, but observations from my time as a Prison Officer. Trust me, the crims are laughing on the way to their rehab. programs about how this is only for the parole board. They are laughing at you weak people- the prey. That is what they call you.

But really the bottom line is not rehab. That must come from within. The bottom line is the public must be protected. It's expensive, for sure, but the cost of having a recidivist criminal on the loose is higher. Take a look at the figures here:

http://www.safe-nz.org.nz/Articles/lock.htm

Finally- The Death Penalty.

I say yes, for the worst types of murderer- the US would say first-degree murderer. Then only when the evidence is hard physical evidence. DNA match, multiple eye-witnesses or video capture. Then only after a set period of imprisonment, say-five years to allow for appeal (and time to contemplate their actions and the consequences)

This is a quick glimpse into my world of Crime and Punishment- there is plenty more...

Weird Blog of the Week

The other day I said blogging represents the whole human condition. Here's one from the edge of the bell-shaped curve!

http://horsehater.blogspot.com/

It's quite possible he has issues with horses. Tons of material for those who follow Freud.

Deborah Coddington's Ranting

If the discussions on New Zealand political blogsites indicate the quality of political debate in this country our intelligentsia is in a parlous state.

More:

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/search/story.cfm?storyid=00090745-C39E-13C8-8ACA83027AF1010F

I don't have the luxury of a proof reader to pick up my typos. I don't get paid (this costs me money) for writing either. I would have put a comma between 'country' and 'our', mind.

I am flattered to find myself in the intelligentsia, though. Not too flattered, as most of the great unwashed make Mr Blobby look like Oscar Wilde.

She may have been unfortunate in striking Millsy, but I thought she would have met far worse in parliament. I have personally heard MP's come out with some fairly foul personal abuse!

It's useful to know the caliber of some of these extremist nutbars out there- If I hadn't meet them here and on previous forums, I would have doubted they existed in real life. Deborah Coddington may do well to spend more time in here and see what type of people make up the big wide world outside of her circle. In the same way all lawmakers should spend time working in a prison- as a lowly Corrections Officer...

As I see it, blogging is a reflection on society- there are all types out there from Saints to Sphincters- and all the shades in between. What she chose to focus on- personal abuse- this goes on in real life. Does she also wish for our private conversations to be moderated, because I'm hearing the same stuff there? One would hope not...

Or are these speculations just side issues. Could the real issue be that journo's hate us taking attention from the card-carrying union members- are we a threat- I'm seeing more attacks on bloggers, while they simultaneously try to say we are irrelevant?- I wonder...

Thought for today

Some people are like a Slinky...

Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

'Sensitive' Special Forces Sniper

December 9, 2005 (CNN)

While interviewing an anonymous US Special Forces soldier on his sniper skills, a Reuters News agent asked the soldier what he felt when shooting members of Al Qaeda in Afghanistan. The soldier shrugged and replied, "Recoil."

An Asset Wasted

GOOSE hunters in Wairarapa are outraged at what they believe is a secret plan by New Zealand Fish and Game to cull 800 Canada geese at Lake Wairarapa this week.
Neil Hayes, of Carterton, said yesterday he had got wind of the plan, which he said proved to hunters that Fish and Game could only manage bird populations "by default".
"If a cull is necessary – and we don't believe it is – it should be done in a sporting manner with all gamlicensece holders given the opportunity to participate."

More:

http://www.times-age.co.nz/localnews/storydisplay.cfm?storyid=3668040&thesection=localnews&thesubsection=&thesecondsubsection=

Some cretins couldn't organise a piss-up in the proverbial brewery! Can they perhaps not see that people would be willing to pay money to shoot the damn things? (Which are like eating a boiled gumboot, BTW)

As said later in the article, people from the states pay big money to come out here and shoot stuff- it's not just geese but deer, thar and an assortment of other animals that our taxes are used to destroy as pests.

Sure, they are pests but why not make a dollar out of getting rid of them?

The only thing that got deer really under control, was when they became worth money to shoot and capture. People making money got the job done.

My summer project

Just about finished framing up another very similar, except that one is a farm shed.

This one is hidden away out the back of nowhere, far from the eyes of building inspectors and other busybodies.

So far, I have cleared the gorse and marked out the site- I have to finish the jobs I have already started before building this!

Pot belly stove, solar powered lights, a stream big enough to get wet in one minute away- and plenty of empty whiskey bottles to put candles in!

Feckin' template

My bloody sidebar is buried under the main body of the blog and I can't get it back!

Can anyone please help someone who is greatly ignorant on these matters!

Much appreciated!

Dang Internet Tests!

Asses WildRaw score: 44% Big Breasts, 54% Big Ass, and 36% Cute!

Thanks for taking the T and A and C test! Based on your selections, the results are clear: you show an attraction to smaller breasts, larger asses, and sexier composure than others who've taken the test.

Note that because you scored small on breasts but large on ass size, it might appear you like girls bottom heavy. That's probably not the case. What's more likely is that you notice curvy, voluptuous asses, and they turn you on. Breasts are hit or miss, though, and besides, extremely large ones are just saggy and gross, in your opinion.

My third variable, "cuteness" is a mostly objective measure of how innocent a given model looked. It's determined by a combination of a lot of factors: lack of dark eye makeup, facial expression, posture, etc. If you scored high on that variable, you are either really nice OR you're into deflowering teens. If you scored low, you are attracted to raunchier, sexier, women. In your case, your lower than average score suggests you appreciate a sluttier look. Kudos!



Recommended Celebrity: J-Lo, when she's looking extra sexy. Probably not when she's acting.
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:


You scored higher than 37% on tit-size


You scored higher than 62% on ass-size


You scored higher than 10% on cuteness

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=15912893200295081418

Light Entertainment

I'm moving my first book to this address:

http://medlersintime.blogspot.com/

I will be putting a thousand or so words on each day ( I have to do a little editing for this format, so it will appear as a serial)

Don't expect some kind of literary masterpiece- my thing is 'Boy's Own Adventure' for modern boys and my demographic is teens to late twenties.
Lots of lawlessness, guns, drinking, shooting natives, piracy, big trucks and equipment, a smattering of futuristic technology and a tiny bit of sex, here and there!

The story unravels as it goes, with many questions the reader may have being answered towards the end. The book is stand-alone, but a sequel is currently underway (58k words)

Anyway, it's there, it's free to read- enjoy!

On lighting fires

One the above subject, I recently heard a story typifying this country's slow suffocation under the ever increasing weight of red tape.

It appears that a local lawnmower/gardener type person wanted to have a small bonfire, to burn off a pile of trimmings from some trees he had been working on. Being a community-minded type of chap, he applied for the appropriate permit and received it.

On the due day, with the weather right and the wing low, he set fire to the pile. Shortly after, the fire brigade arrived and put it out. Somebody had complained about the fire.

'No problem', said the firemen, when the permit was produced- 'you can light it again as soon as we leave, but if we are called out again, we have to come and put it out. You can keep doing that as often as you like, as you have done the right thing and obtained a permit- because you have done that, there will be no charge.'

And to think we make jokes about the Irish...

An Observation on Blogging

I follow predominantly right-wing and libertarian blogs. The lefty ones tend to be full of stuff I have no interest in or believe to be bullshit, so I avoid them. Occasionally, I follow a link to an amusing piece of hypocrisy or bullshit. I very rarely bother with comments, then only with bloggers I have known from way back in MSN days.

They have their blogs to spout their stuff in and I have no need to point out the errors of their ways, as I see them. Like teaching a pig to whistle, it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Why is it they feel an need- no compulsion, to attack the right wing blogs continally. I could understand them doing that on their own blogs- that's what they are for, but why the need to flood the comments section?

The posts are either:

1- personal attacks
2- long-winded cut& pastes
3- almost never an intelligent debate of the issue- just a 'you are wrong' based on moral issues.
4- devoid of any humour.

The word compulsion probably is the key to it- the left are fascinated with it.

One thing I have learned- reasoned debate is a waste of time- just kick them in their vestigial balls!

A Night at the Opera

No, not really- just drunk to hell and listening to The Pouges!

A Day at the Races

Race day at Tauherenikau tommorrow. I'm probably in the ambulance that chases the horses around the track, which is better than dealing with heat prostration compounded by alcohol.

We usually have some drama, someone either falls off or gets squashed by a horse and there is always a suspected (or actual) cardiac problem.

Having already figured out that one horse can run faster than another, I have no need to spend money finding this out, so I'm safe there.

Watch this space and tommorrow I will post the most stupid questions we get asked. For some reason, a person in uniform is meant to know EVERYTHING about what's going on at the event.

'No, I have no idea how to fill out a trifecta coupon, but you could just give me the money instead' (I'm sure the shoulder patch says 'Ambulance Officer, not 'Race Official')

'No, we don't sell sunscreen' (in your case,Pinky-too late!)

'No, we don't sell paracetamol' (just keep drinking!)

'No, we don't sell knee supports, sunglasses, crutches, walking sticks or wheelchairs'

But on the positive side, one person did stick $50 in the donation tin after we treated a child for some minor sprain!

The weather forecast isn't that great, which is good for us. A scorcher means lots of work!

2006 and all that bullshit

Yep, first to blog for the year- thank you Stella Artois....

Who indeed!

Who would be blogging on new years eve?

Obviously, me.

I have always found that organized events suck. The only really great ones occur spontaneously.

The contrived new year's bullshit doesn't cut it with me, any more than that fake xmas 'good will to all mankind' crapola. It sits like a silage-fed cow's turd on your chest.

I'm having a few quiet drinks at home and watching Peter Jackson's 'Frighteners'

The unfortunate thing is that my CO2 cylinder has finally run out of gas after 3 years!

I can't get the cider out!

Maybe just as well, as I'm shooting moving target in the morning!

9mm or .357- decisions, decisions!

Wasting time on New Year's Eve

It's all generationxy's fault for linking those quiz's!

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=17675020579094199926

Der KommandantAchtung!

You are 30% brainwashworthy, 59% antitolerant, and 80% blindly patriotic

Opportunistic, patriotic to a fault, and not so fond of people who aren't just like you, you are like a Nazi General. Back in Germany in the 1940's, you would have been at the top of the asshole list. Not for Nazism, necessarily, but for your own sick, twisted values. Then, out of superior intelligence (relative to other Nazis, that is), you would've climbed to the top.Conclusion: you would have been a Nazi, and most likely would have served them well.

General suits me fine, you get to sleep in a bed, have a driver and get lots of perks! Why not, in real life, I held the same rank as Adolph!

Tits, ass & cuteness didn't work too well, a quite a few of the images wouldn't open, but I like slim women with smaller tits, based on what I could answer (actually, any women that would look out of place at a Labour/Greens convention is in!)


Another pint of cider...

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=3828635434782670283

The Debutante56%
Cute, neither Dark nor Light, and Stylish, you'll find the Debutante at high-class New York parties, making the rounds. She'll have a glass of champagne in one gloved hand, her hair perfectly coifed, her makeup exactingly applied. Her slinky, perfect little black dress keeps many an eye firmly on her, wondering what lies beneath.

Yep, I like them high class bitches! Like gals from Catholic schools, they are the naughtiest ones of them all , behind closed doors and still hold onto their class!- never will they say "Juss chuck it in, bro!"


Masculine/Feminine Test...
http://www.mysticgames.com/mysticgames_cfmfiles/tests/showtest.cfm?TestID=29

90.77%
You are definitely more Masculine than Feminine in your tastes, habits, and style. You aren't very sentimental, and you don't like wasting much time on petty things. You know how to be straightforward without getting bogged down with trivialities. You also are generally comfortable with your surroundings.

Tell me something it didn't know, not sure where the other 9% went- the question about a sink full of dishes must have got me. I don't like looking at a sink full of dishes, because your woman should have put them into the dishwasher!...

More cider needed...

The friggin' death quiz has locked up, but I already knew I was going to die.

Time to go and clean my Luger, prior to having mit the shag with mine slim debutant wife!

Seig Heil!

A J Chesswas

Who I believe is a demented troll(s) taking the piss- but just in case you are 'for real'...

Normality has been restored

That particular nonsense is over for another year. No more trifle for lunch and the cold meat has finally run out.

The boy's toys still all work (!) and I have my new toy now. The longer barrel spoils the look, but that's the NZ laws for you. The original is 11mm too short- bugger! Still, for a compact pistol, it shoots real straight!

I have discovered that the average section has few suitable places to hang a hammock or a shade sail, and I have a lot of large trees. I wonder how many of these things wind up gathering dust in the garage.

All the in-laws have buggered of up north, leaving me with all the remaining cider to finish. Now if only the wife and kids had followed...

Humbug!

Well, the Roboraptor lasted almost five minutes before becoming extinct.

First repair job of the day- no, the roboraptor is OK- the 'new' batteries were fubar-feckin' warehouse! He actually shuffles along at a reasonable speed, now!

Setting him to attack Thomas, Percy and Toby was not a move guaranteed to keep the peace.

Now that the road set has been added to Thomas's domain, I have lost almost half the lounge. At least he doesn't need batteries.

4 1/2 hours until lunch with the outlaws, then it's cider time!

Holiday fun!

Chasing pussy in the holiday season:

http://www.buckstix.com/CoehornMortarHunt.htm

On dealing with pesky Reindeer:

http://www.buckstix.com/howitzer.htm

For the man who has everything

A jet-powered beer cooler!

No- really!

http://www.asciimation.co.nz/beer/







Already having a refrigerator, I'm going to get another pistol!

Retail Hell

Today was my annual descent into the uttermost depths of Hell.

Christmas shopping.

A torment the wife finds necessary to inflict upon the rest of us. Unlike her, I didn't grow up with the fuckin' Waltons. My family has a tacit agreement to buy for our own spawn and not inflict the obligation to reciprocate. A very sensible arrangement!

As the maw of the pit opened, I fell into the first levels of my torment. The Warehouse. A seething mass of semi-evolved simians pawed shelves full of cheap and not so cheap goods. Few wore deodorant and all had children, most behaving badly.

After five minutes, Mr Three demanded the toilet. It was out of order.

The descent continued as I attempted to find a viewable DVD in the uder $10 bin, while the wife did a speed dash to the nearest service station, in search of a (working) toilet. My autistic 5 year old amused himself by snatching at passing handbags.

Departing with $90 worth of junk, to swap for other junk, it was time to buy food.

Express elevator to the Ninth Circle, going down!

WritePrice, Masterton- Vittuls fer Hillbilly's.

The demon lord of that plane had decreed his minions must push overladen trolleys full of beans, making progress on one of the busiest days of the year, near impossible. Especially when one of the lumbering she-mountains spilled into the same aisle.

Lured by the $3.98/kg pork special, the toothless unwashed had flocked from near and far and a forklift was kept busy resupplying pallets of Tui.

Mr Three again demands the toilet and again I'm left with a trolley full of pork and sausages- and the handbag-snatcher, who can reach the shelves in the narrow isles.

With the list near complete, I rush for the shortest checkout line. The trolley in front had been loaded by Mrs Creosote. Mr Five shits his pants- probably thought she was going to eat him!

The stench is great. And it's a thirty-five minute drive home.

I finished the shopping via the internet...

I don't like Christmas!

Glenn Baxter sums up Christmas, as only he can!

Big Boy's Toys!

Forget Roboraptor- this much more fun!

1 1/8" lead ball

+

200 grains FG powder

=

Very big bang!

Bloody Spoilers!

The house was a cube-like structure, built into the side of a hill. The whole site was on top of a ridge line, overlooking the ocean, the top two levels being above the ridge. Windows were occasional long slits, running horizontal in an otherwise plain wall.

I entered the building through a door on the lowest level at the rear of the house, the front being the side of the cube facing the sea. The entrance way was small for the size of the building, an area about 3 metres square, leading to a steep stairway, carpeted in grey wool. The walls were painted in a tan colour, with burgundy detailing.

The stairs went straight up about three stories and lead to a kitchen area. The kitchen was modern- industrial design, with glass fronted fridges and counter tops paneled in Tawa. The kitchen area took up one quarter of an open plan area, which made up a dining room. In this dining area, another stairwell lead below to a guest apartment. From the kitchen, looking to the front of the building, a wide bi-fold door(open) lead to a large lounge areas. This in turn opened though another such door into another lounge, the far side being the ceiling to floor glass of the front wall.

The whole area was in neutral white and beige and apart from the kitchen, a recent renovation, seem outdated and a bit shabby.

Heading down into the guest apartment, the colour scheme and decor changed dramatically, to an Art Deco theme. The colour being predominantly in pale greens. The stud was considerably lower here and the ceiling had the unusual decoration of a ornate molding in mirrored glass! The carpet was a sixties blue-green colour. The paint was flaking and spotted with mould. The bathroom had a green free-standing batch and the walls were tiled in pale green and trimmed with chromed steel.

The guest apartments lead to a utility space containing a walk-in safe and another smaller safe. From here we move to what looked like teenagers apartments. A kitchenette had a bar fridge still containing a few miniature bottles of spirits and a bourbon bottle with a few nips in it lay on its side on the bench. In a cupboard I found a half bottle of Absinthe!

The rooms here were painted in an off-white and were spacious and plentifully supplied with built-in shelving, now empty.

This apartment opened out into a patio. To the left was an outbuilding, which looked like an old laundry. It contained five old refrigerators, of 1950’s design, one containing a few loose cans of beer, the rest mould. A large, flat area was paved in concrete squares, the concrete being old, but uncracked and level, with aggregate exposed. Further over was a modern-looking outbuilding, about the size of a small cottage. It looked in good repair and condition.

The area had clear potential. It was tidy but was currently devoid of any form of furniture, decoration, colour or plantings.

The view towards the sea was, to say the least, spectacular, looking out towards the Tasman sea. We were 800 feet above the sea level, with a steep drop-off from the front of the house, to the rocky shore.

I will never forget this house. It was run down, parts were in terrible taste, but I had to have it! Beyond the wear & tear I could see a unique home- the sort that rarely comes your way. With money and a lot of work, it could be spectacular.

As I headed back to the house, to continue the tour, my wife woke me at 5.45am, with some totally unnecessary question about toast bread- the rest of the house was lost forever.

The Death penalty- they don't do it again.

I have been following the debate on the death penalty, sparked by the termination of another oxygen-thief.

I didn't always support the death penalty, but within a week of working in a prison, I had re-examined this point of view!

Firstly, this is how I believe it should work.

1- The evidence must be incontrovertible- DNA match, video , multiple eye-witnesses- 'smoking gun' scenarios.

2- It should only be for premeditated murder, or murder in the commission of another crime

3- There should be a mandatory jail term, to allow for the appeal process or new evidence to surface- say five years. Time to pray that there is an all-forgiving God out there.

Back to the 'why's'

My experience is that those who fit this category have seldom lead a life of virtue. They generally have at least a couple of pages of convictions for lesser wrongdoings, before doing the big one. Of interest, I often would see 'theft of a bicycle' as the start to a career in crime.

The sort of murderer who has lead a useful life, then snapped one day and took the tomahawk to the mother in law doesn't fit the criteria for a hemp necktie. Nor the lad who at 18 and no dealings with the police, got into a brawl in the pub and hit someone a bit too hard. They are due serious punishment, but not death.

One comment that surfaces is that 'No person (or the state) has the right to take another's life'

That would be their opinion, as mine is to hand the bastards. I don't see it engraved on a mysterious prehistoric black obelisk. Even the line in the other mysterious object 'Thou shall not kill' is accepted to mean 'thou shall not murder'.

I suspect many of the 'no executions' camp have little experience in crime or criminals, outside of books.

The 'rough men that keep you safe, at night' have a different outlook. A much more pragmatic one. Dead crims don't cost money or reoffend. And justice is served to the victim.
Something not happening now, where the concern is for the 'rights' of the criminal. Something that should have been severely curtailed when the judge said "Guilty!"

I would love to see some of the 'crims are humans too' crowd spend a few day behind bars, in a high security unit. They may find their objectivity shifts, as the go from theorizer to prey.

The pros and cons of Christmas

Pro's.
I sold of a trailerload of worthless thinnings from the firewood block for an outrageous amount of money.
Cooking a whole ham on the Weber.
Eating a whole ham cooked on the Weber.
60 litres of Cider awaiting consumption.

Con's.
Plastic trees shed crap on the carpet, too.
Spending money on non-firearm related purchases.
Not receiving firearms related gifts. (Where's my friggin' Weatherby, Santa?)
3 year-old waking at 5.45am to check if it is xmas yet.
Prospects of sex, because of the above.
Wife's expectations. (why bother, I'm not getting sex!)
Christmas Carols.
Sunday IPSC shoot cancelled due to it being xmas day! (what??)
Sugared children.
60 litres of Cider awaiting consumption.

The Death of an Era

A MAN whose business acumen sparked Wairarapa's most hotly contested grocery and liquor price wars died yesterday in Wellington Hospital.
John Chung, owner of Chungs Supermarket in Featherston, had been ill in hospital for several weeks.
Mr Chung virtually pioneered grocery price wars in Wairarapa in the mid-1960s by going head-to-head with several rival grocers, determined to offer goods at the lowest possible price.




Most reading this would have no idea who this person was. Mr Chung was one of the last true independent supermarket operators. He wouldn't have a bar of franchises and refused to follow the trend of continually tarting up the shop. He ran on a shoestring budget, doing his own signwriting and even building extensions to the store himself.

He was a hard nut- he wouldn't take cheques, took a hard line on thieves and the under-age could never buy a bottle from him!

The local trust-run (and very expensive) supermarket claims to be there for the community and it is true that they put profits back through donations to charities. But John Chung sold stuff at way cheaper prices- That is what really helps the community!

The rulers of this land could learn from his example- hard work, thrift, no waste and most of all- what helps us most is hanging onto our money, not paying a lot more to maybe receive some back...

Reparations payments- what a friggin' joke!

18 months ago, I was awarded $10 grand reparations, following being crunched by a dumbfuck drunk driver.

So far I have recieved one payment of $700 and today, almost three months later, another for $50 bucks turns up.

Fifty friggin' dollars- that means he is paying it at five lousy bucks a week!- no doubt the worthless POS is on the dole again.

That will take THIRTY-EIGHT YEARS, TO PAY ME OFF! it will only happen that quick, as I get no sodding interest on the amount owed.

I don't see why these deadbeats can't be sold into indentured service of some kind- scrubcutter or dung-gatherer would be suitable. Get enough of them and they can work a big treadmill and generate electricity.

Bring back the workhouse!

Fair Go, Target.

Why bother with panty-sniffing plumbers, when much bigger fish are stealing form all of us?

"What about ACC? Gungho Fraud investigator want ed the product, Womble perpetual ass-kissig manager says cost too much……how big was the problem at ACC?
They told us $100 million estimated by individuals, $100 million by medical providers and $50 million by staff!!!! Yep $250 million. - hat tip- http://www.whaleoil.co.nz/

Surely this beats the hell out of dodgy washing-machine fixers or cleaners that use the same cloth?

Or are the program producers employers not on the target list- no matter how bent they may be?

More objective journalism in NZ...

Life in the Septic Tank (Job Hunting)

I decided, of my own free will and without prompting, to remove last night's vodka-fueled dissertation on the personal habits of HR goons.

Although I still consider them shit-eaters on the bottom of the pond. The pond being the type found on dairy farms.

When being interviewed, I have found honesty to be the best policy, given that porkies easily trip you up. That is why I find it particularly annoying when the interviewing panel start with the BS. I have spent a lot of time interviewing, myself and are quite good at spotting a player of games. Often it's not one thing, but a series of small slips, that gives the game away.

The other one is that NZ is a small town. This is how I KNOW that a job is going in-house and that the interviews are just a matter of form as "HR says we have to follow the 'process'"

They know damn well who they are going to hire, the others that have spent the best part of a day filling out their wanky 'self-assessment' forms, then blow a day going to an interview, are just being jerked around. This covers three of the last four jobs I have applied for.

Fucking time wasters- being interviewed by clowns that obviously have not bothered to read my CV, just because HR dictated the must interview 4 (or whatever) candidates.

And I seriously dislike having my time wasted!

Yeah, I know this sounds like sour grapes on my part and there is a component of that. But I bet anyone who has been on the market for a few years has struck this!

Whilst on the subject, I must mention 'The Great Skill-Shortage' spin. I believe it is a beat-up by lazy NZ business to import ready-trained immigrants, rather than train up someone, who may have the aptitude, but not the specific training.

(I didn't vote for Winston, BTW!)

Children, aircraft and bloody useless staff

On a flight of any duration, the last thing I would want is to be in the same part of cattle class with small children (including my own)

I would be a bit peeved if I was asked to move, because I may be a perve, mind! Any of the gloried tea-room staff called cabin crew should be able to pacify me easily. An upgrade or a very large and expensive drink would work wonders. My experiences with the offending airline is that the mutton-done-up-as-lamb cabin tarts couldn't keep hungry wolves in a butcher's shop. (this was some years ago, I must admit)

Working in the sex offenders wing of a prison has made me a bit touchy about being thought of as one of these filthy subhumans!

I don't regard the incident as being a great example of PC'ness, just bad management by the airline.

The real PC dicklickers are the ones slamming Mr Worsley for daring to speak out!

ERO Morons (again)- your tax dollars at 'work'

http://xtramsn.co.nz/news/0,,11964-5075413,00.html

27/11/2005
NewstalkZB

Teachers are being ticked off for dishing out lines to teach students a lesson. The Education Review Office has pulled up a west Auckland school for making students write lines for bad behavior. In its latest report the ERO has suggested Westbridge Residential School revisit its use of writing as a disincentive. After completing a standard review of the school it found students sent to time out were required to copy out a sheet of writing. The intention is to help them reflect on their experience. However the Education Review Office suggests this could lead students to regard writing as a form of punishment.

ERO- Anal-Retentive Masters (or should that be gender- neutral!) of PC-ness gone mad, strike another blow for the destruction of the NZ school system.

fortunately, most school kids are balanced enough to avoid being traumatized by writing lines and will go on to lead productive and useful lives. The others will find that the public service uses keyboards, nowadays- so no harm done either way!

It's been a long few days!

It has been, and I haven't written sod-all here!

I have done about 15,000 words on my latest book, in the last week, though. I will be back when the money-making stuff slows down. It's a bit like hay-making- when the ideas come, you write and damn everything else. When the story takes me, sex, food and physical comfort follow behind. It doesn't last that long ;-)

Weally Depwessed Wabbit Wooter

From the Strange, Rare and Peculiar files (Barking Mad section):

http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3485166a11,00.html

SYDNEY: A former Auckland man, charged with animal cruelty and bestiality, failed to meet his bail conditions because he was too depressed to leave his house, a Sydney court has been told.
Brendan Francis McMahon, 37, appeared in Parramatta Local Court on Saturday after failing to report to police as required by the courts on Thursday.
McMahon is on bail on 21 charges, including aggravated cruelty to animals, bestiality and drug possession.
Police alleged when he was arrested in August that 17 dead or dying rabbits and a dead guinea pig were found near his central Sydney office between July and early August.

I would be bloody depressed too, if that was the the only way I could get any action!

Name the Picture!

I found this interesting picture, on my travels (Hat tip to Doderryoldfart )

I like to call it:

'Your Tax Dollars'

Can you think up another name for it?

On Religion, Spirituality and masturbation

It seems I can't go a month without offending someone's deeply felt religious beliefs. It's not really good enough- I should be upsetting them on a weekly basis, at least!

I don't actually have a problem with other people's beliefs. They might be irrational and masochistic, but that is their concern. Like wanking, it is socially acceptable if done in private and without announcing it to the world.

I suppose people who spend hour in prayer, meditation or ritual aren't climbing though windows and removing your property. I used to live out the back of the Hari Krishner temple in Christchurch and I never saw anyone in an orange sheet trying car doors at 3am.

When I do start taking exception with matter religious, is when they go missionary. I want to hear the word of the lord as much as I want to listen to the guy in the next flat wanking like a mad monkey. Hell, I heard enough mattress abuse and onanism to last two lifetimes, when I worked in the prisons!

The REAL problem starts when religion and politics start to mesh together. Look at the basket-case nations of the world, to see the results. (with North Korea, Kim Dim-Sim and the State are the religion)

The Destiny church are a dangerous lot, too and one that is probably not taken seriously enough. It looks like Fascism wrapped up in family values to me and I would trust them about as far as I could comfortably spit a large rat. They quite remind me of the Fosterites in 'Stranger in a Strange land'!

A long time ago I came to the conclusion that debating with the religious is like teaching a pig to whistle, so I don't bother. It's in the same league as talking Libertarian policy, to a Labour party member.

So the most they get from me now is a 'Sod Off!'. You only get so many breaths in a lifetime.

They are as likely to give it away, as a teenage boy is to stop wanking.

The Impending Doom

In the past, I have often made predictions that have come to pass, despite being told by 'experts' that I'm blowing smoke out my arse!

For instance, in reply to my speculations:

"Games will Never be developed for 486 machines- those are for serious business users!"

"Nobody would go to a small bar that served only wine and bottled beer and didn't have a band"

"The Internet will only be used by nerds and academics "

"Wine will never be popular in New Zealand"

"cellphones will only ever be used by businessmen"

OK, these are more a reflection on the myopia of others.

My prediction now:

We will have what amounts to another World War, by about the end of the decade. Riots, such as those in Paris, will be on-going throughout the Western world (and probably most of the rest) Most of the world will be like Northern Ireland was, so recently.

Yes, here, in New Zealand, too!

I also predict a backlash against the whole PC kid-gloves treatment of other cultures. As with backlashes, the pendulum will invariably swing too far, with mass deportations, gulags and all that goes with them. Totalitarian governments will become the norm- look to the US for this, as agencies lobby for legislation to give them more and more power.

We still need to take a lot more pain before this happens, but I feel it coming.

Why is this happening?

Those who despise our way of life have found a major breach in our defenses and are cleverly exploiting it. We cannot speak out against the very cancer that is spreading- that is called 'Hate speech' (gag!) and carries hefty penalties.

It's easier to police than a rioting mob, too...

Some (serious) Politically Incorrect questions

Hat tip to Seawitch, for these questions
http://smpw.blogspot.com/

Some Very Good Questions
Islam is referred to as the Religion of Peace and yet the vast majority of the world's terrorist attacks are perpetrated by Muslims. Jihad Watch has questions asked by Dennis Prager in his LA Times column. Below is the first:

1) Why are you so quiet? Since the first Israelis were targeted for death by Muslim terrorists blowing themselves up in the name of your religion and Palestinian nationalism, I have been praying to see Muslim demonstrations against these atrocities. Last week's protests in Jordan against the bombings, while welcome, were a rarity.

(2) Why are none of the Palestinian terrorists Christian?

(3) Why is only one of the 47 Muslim-majority countries a free country?

(4) Why are so many atrocities committed and threatened by Muslims in the name of Islam?

(5) Why do countries governed by religious Muslims persecute other religions?


I don't think we should hold our breath waiting for a reply...

Judges- a big part of the problem.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3475966a10,00.html


Principal Youth Court Judge Andrew Becroft said yesterday it was the length of time child offenders were being kept in police cells that was scandalous.
"It is a very serious situation when vulnerable young people are locked up for that long.
"It could be argued that a night in a cell might not do a potentially serious young offender any harm, but when it becomes a week in virtual solitary confinement, it is quite scandalous in a civilised community."

These little slime-buckets are already FUBAR. I agree, most of them shouldn't be locked up, they should be humanely put down.

FFS- a week banged up in solitary is nothing. These POS don't live in the civilised community, in any case!

Maybe Judge Bleedingheart can put them up at his house?


Some police officers spoken to say there is growing frustration at the number of youth offenders who are remanded into police custody.
"These aren't your typical children of course; they are obviously hard-core and hard-out, but they should not be with us. They need to be in a secure facility designed for children," said one officer.

See my comments above. I think the police, like many of us are frustrated that we can't just shoot them!

Judge Becroft said extended confinement in police cells was "wholly unacceptable".

Cry me a river- having them at large in the community is 'wholly unacceptable'!

What do these overpaid snivel servants propose to do with this plague of feral children?- other than pontificate on those who actually have to deal with these little scrotes, that is. I'm sure they would be the first to call the same police that they so love to condemn, should they find one of these ferals makinfg free with their property.

Meanwhile, the rest of us- the ones these judges are meant to serve, believe the disgrace is not in locking these swine up- but is THE CRIMES THEY COMMIT and the fact that the namby-pamby laws let them walk free for anything less than murder.

We (the 92% that want the worthless locked up longer) want judges to apply the full penalties of law- to these ferals and those who are blatantly neglectful in raising them.

The worst of them are like mad dogs- one cure for a mad dog and it involves hot lead.

As for Judges, I'm starting to think they ought to be elected officials. A little fear for their gilt-edged jobs might make them more responsive to the community.

Political Correctness in the home

Some things just don't go down well, at home. Here follows a list of things best avoided, left unsaid or done behind locked doors- this may keep YOU out of trouble!

Describing wife's friends as 'Severely Fuckable'
Describing wife's sisters as 'Severely Fuckable'
Describing any of the cast of 'Hi-5' as 'Severely Fuckable'
Teaching boys how to light farts.
Using the dishwasher to clean your pistols .
Making fireworks.
Tampons are not a firearms cleaning aid.
Reprogramming the remote control minus channel two.
Referring to the children as Demon Spawn or Satan's Little Helpers.
Using a bra as a flying helmet, whilst doing Biggles impersonations, no matter how funny the boys find this.
Rum does not go in the goldfish tank.
Ronald MacDonald does not really eat children.
Ronald MacDonald is not the antichrist (he hasn't passed the exam)
I don't eat babies and should not tell small children that.
Baby oil does not contain babies.
The Warehouse is not the place that 'Boys go in, Sausages come out'
Green plants are a food group.
Eggs are not aborted chicken fetuses.
Hot dogs do not contain their namesake.
Insolent children are not placed in a burlap bag and beaten with a reed.
Urine might be good for citrus trees, but not while anyone is watching.
They are breasts, not 'Dirty Pillows'
Cosmetics do not contain Whale blubber.
Sugar is not 'Kiddie P'
Three year-olds do not learn to say "Pull your finger out, women", all by themselves.
The children are not the Spawn of Satan nor the Midwich Cuckoos.
Rest homes are not 'Pre-Death Storage Facilities'.
Other people's children are not 'grounds for post-natal abortion'- at least in front of our kids.
menstruating women are not 'Unclean'
Pre-menstrual women should not have to carry a bell.
Girl children are not 'Duds'
Full Metal Jacket, Saving Private Ryan and Blade Runner are not suitable viewing for under 10's

I will not notice who is wearing g-strings at playcentre or at least not remark on this.
I will not point out to the boys- "look at the enormous elephant knickers!", in department stores.
I will especially not do this in Kirk's
Telling telemarketers to "sod off and die" is considered impolite..
Telling collectors I have their disorder and need some of the collection money now, is embarassing to others.

In Praise of Poteen!

It ranges from good clean alcohol, to stuff that has been used to marinate a long-dead fish. It is as good as it's maker. If they pay attention to detail, don't take shortcuts and use a quality stainless steel reflux still, they can make a very decent product indeed- one that does not require liberal quantities of mixers, to make it drinkable.

I usually produce something like the above, but this time, my product resembles window cleaner. I should have gone to the farm and got some good non-compliant creek water, instead of using town water, which tastes like the swimming pool water, from a school for the incontinent.

Still, that is what Coke is invented for- to make bad booze pleasant, or at least drinkable.

But the real joy of Poteen is not about taste. It's about savoring a drink, knowing that you are not financing the govamint's social agenda's. (aside from the GST, etc. On the Coke- bugger!)

Ok so knowing that I have won a small victory is no big deal- or is it?

We need to keep winning more of these small ones. Most of us will never go on to win the big battles- but it is within us all to keep winning small ones.

Grow your own tobacco, do a deal for cash or trade- teach someone else how to do so.

Don't let the bastards grind you down. It's going to be a painful three years, mark my words.

Get a grip, France!

You know how to sort the rioting rabble out!

















Don't forget to grease the blade- a bit of lard should do nicely!

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Big Deal, So What?

I see a lake of crocodile tears being shed on the blogs and newsgroups, at the demise of Ron Donald.

Hell, it's just one less politician, to me.

I don't know him personally. I certainly can't stand his party or their ideals- they are just a bunch of control freaks with bad hair.

People die everyday. Why get upset about some character you have never broken organic bread with- nor ever would?

Doesn't make sense to me- but that's people for you!

Morons I have met- ERO

Toady an ERO report came back from my son's local school. It contained this little gem:

"Findings also highlight significant areas requiring improvement including the development of an English implementation plan, strengthening assessment and quality assurance processes and addressing poor quality teaching in some classes. Recent valid and reliable data show that many children are achieving at below average levels for their age against national norms."

Now if you have an average, surely that means that in a group, there will be those above and those below the average.

So does the school have to produce kids that are all average or above? That would be a neat trick. Having achieved that, they can move on to developing a peace plan for the middle east, banning ugliness and getting us to all love one another. Big group hug!

Back in the real world, the successful will succeed, the mediocre will go work at the Warehouse and those below average- well, all is not lost. Those way below average can always find employment in the government apparatus...

Ask why, indeed!

I found this story today:

http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3464384a11,00.html

N A T I O N A L N E W S S T O R Y

Police wary of camera phone benefits 02 November 2005
The rapid increase in the public's use of camera cellphones is being viewed as a double-edged sword by police.
Rotorua Constable Darrell Earney was annoyed that members of the public stood by and took pictures with their phones as he struggled to arrest a young man for riding a bicycle without a helmet.
He said at least three or four people were taking photographs instead of helping when an officer was in trouble.

Now the story was about cameras, but note the last sentence. People wouldn't come to the assistance of a police officer.

Why would they? When defending themselves, family, homes and property, they are invariably before the courts for doing so!

What is the continual messages from senior police officers?- don't tackle offenders yourself!

Jump in to help a cop and you happen to do the offender some serious damage (easy to do)- see what happens. You can be fairly confident that a jury will find 'not guilty', but you will lose the family home defending yourself.

Until ALL citizens in good standing have the right to use all means available in defence of self or others, expect to see people stand back and watch bad things happen.

The police are in the same sad situation as the rest of us. The answers are at a political level and while we keep voting in wimps and wowsers - expect more of the same.

A new PC term- 'Intellectually Lazy'

This is the latest piece of politically correct lefty wankstain gobbling that has got right up my nose!

Delivered with the smugness that only a labour voter on a six-figure income can deliver, this is the latest label for the likes of myself who spit on political correctness and those who believe that it is 'just good policy'

It probably originates out of these spineless snivellers believing it is too rude to say 'Redneck' or 'Bigot', in this enlightened age.

I'm well aware of the origins of the term PC (socialist Russia) and I also know that it is now applied to a far wider range of subjects than the original term covered. Like may terms, meanings change with time, the English language being a living, evolving one. The nearest thing to an international language there is. Everyone I know that uses it in conversion knows exactly what it is describing.

Friggin' fascist social engineering, through the creation of taboos!

I have been told that it is intellectually lazy to use the term PC, as by doing so, one dimisses an issue as not being worthy of debate. Now hang on- PC places issues beyond debate, by shouting down all that challenge them as immoral and/or criminal.

Aside from that, I don't have the time to debate issues I consider total donkybollocks, in the first place. Such as the need for a plethora of McMinistries in government.

I suppose I might, if I had acquired the habit during my six years of study to gain a B.A.

preferring action and working to navel-gazing, I was spared that!

I'm bloody glad to move in circles where these limp-wristed WOFTAMS don't exist!

Classic design I

Accepted into service by the USA as model of 1911, designed by John Browning several years earlier. Now, the grunts in Iraq all want one of these on their belts- the new 9mm just doesn't cut it. As the US army found out fighting the Moro's at the turn of last century- .38's just didn't drop the bad guys quick enough.

JB has designed guns that are still in service- they can't be improved on significantly. One of the major manufactures did a study on pistol ergonomics, with the aid of modern technology to discover that the 1911 had got it right- the size and angle of the grip was the optimum, fitting the widest variation of the population!

Of course, the pouges in their air-conditioned offices don't have to bet THEIR worthless lives...

This is my one( the top one- I can't figure out how to move the damn thing!)- A Tanfoglio copy of the original. The same design, but better materials and craftsmenship.

Community's Problem, who's fault?

I have been hearing much waffle about how the community needs to be responsible for youth offending.

Donkeybollocks!

I refuse to accept one iota of responsibility for some crap-head's bad behavior. The offenders must take the heat for their offenses. Most of their parents could use a size 12 up the arse too!

OK, so most of us are not responsible for their anti-social carrying on. Many would LIKE to take some responsibility in dealing with it, regardless.

BUT, the same crowd stating 'we' must take ownership' are the same arseholes that have made it impossible to actively do something tangible about people's anti-social behavior!

All to often, someone when driven to their wit's end by crapheads has thumped one or put a loader into there shitbox racer wannabe car- and it's straight into the dock!

In my town, we have less than a handful of persistent vandals. Their parents won't discipline them, but there are many here ready to dispense some rough justice (the only sort they understand) Of course, they do not- they have too much too lose, when the powers-that be descend upon them, with all the power of the courts- in a way they seem unable to do with these young criminals or their totally useless drug-addled parents.

If the grey shoe wearing, trying to be gay, bleeding heart whale-hugging policy makers hand the power back (yeah, right!), they community WILL deal with the problem. In the way it used to do- with a clip round the ears or a policeman's boot up the arse, at a young enough age for it to matter.

And tar & feathers for those who won't learn!

Dumbfuck of the Week

These words of wisdom from the Wairarapa Times-Age

Candles and petrol: A bad mix25.10.2005
A MASTERTON man accidentally destroyed his girlfriend's car when he was draining the petrol tank – while using a candle to see what he was doing.
The naked flame ignited the petrol vapours and fire quickly engulfed the car.
The incident happened on Friday night and by the time the fire service arrived the car was beyond saving.
Needless to say the girlfriend was quite upset by the unfortunate turn of events.
Station officer Garry Nielsen said the incident illustrates that many people are not aware of the dangers of flammable vapours.
"Naked flames around flammable liquids – just don't.


"Dealing with any flammable liquid is hazardous. Always take care to make sure they are stored in the proper containers," he said.


Is it any wonder that about 30% of the denizens of Rimutaka Prison give a home address of Masterton? I believe that Insolent Prick has rightfully commented on this, previously ...

Here be the shallow end of the gene pool!

Dumbfuck of the Week

Web posting gets driver arrested

Oct 19, 2005
A Christchurch man has been banned from driving for a year and ordered to do 120 hours community service after posting a video of himself on the internet driving recklessly.
The 21-year-old pleaded guilty in court after the pictures showed him speeding, spinning his car and crashing on a public street.
Police received a number of complaints from people in New Zeland and overseas who saw the video on the internet and were able to indentify the street and the driver.
Inspector Derek Erasmus said the man was the author of his own demise.
Source: RNZ

Lets just hope that when he does manage to kill himself, it's a solo act...

The most fun you can have (in a vertical position)

Took this one out today. One of the things I like about these smoke-sticks is when you fire and "what the fuck was that!" starts coming from the other shooters on the line, as the place lights up with the muzzle flash, then fills with smoke!

Firing it is serious fun- all you see is a ball of orange fire and everything is briefly blotted out by smoke...

Downside- getting it back to looking like the picture above, after firing it. (Black powder residue is very corrosive)

Today's useless piece of information

Liquid nitrogen sprayed under your armpit really hurts!

Vodka makes it better!



here endth the lesson.

While rabbits are in the news...

This is hilarious!

Peter Rabbit- Tank Killer

By

Beatrix Potter & Sven Hassel

http://www.strategypage.com/humor/default.asp?target=peterrabbit.htm

I found the link on http://pc.blogspot.com/

He has some amazing links!

On The Public, Police and Criminals

Found this excellent post on a group a few days ago. It has a US slant, but still runs true.

Part of the work- the rest is at the link below:

By LTC (RET) Dave Grossman, author of "On Killing."
Honor never grows old, and honor rejoices the heart of age. It does so because honor is, finally, about defending those noble and worthy things that deserve defending, even if it comes at a high cost. In our time, that may mean social disapproval, public scorn, hardship, persecution, or as always,even death itself. The question remains: What is worth defending? What is worth dying for? What is worth living for? - William J. Bennett - in a lecture to the United States Naval Academy November 24, 1997
One Vietnam veteran, an old retired colonel, once said this to me:
"Most of the people in our society are sheep. They are kind, gentle, productive creatures who can only hurt one another by accident." This is true. Remember, the murder rate is six per 100,000 per year, and the aggravated assault rate is four per 1,000 per year. What this means is that the vast majority of Americans are not inclined to hurt one another. Some estimates say that two million Americans are victims of violent crimes every year, a tragic, staggering number, perhaps an all-time record rate of violent crime. But there are almost 300 million Americans, which means that the odds of being a victim of violent crime is considerably less than one in a hundred on any given year. Furthermore, since many violent crimes are committed by repeat offenders, the actual number of violent citizens is considerably less than two million.
Thus there is a paradox, and we must grasp both ends of the situation: We may well be in the most violent times in history, but violence is still remarkably rare. This is because most citizens are kind, decent people who are not capable of hurting each other, except by accident or under extreme provocation. They are sheep.
I mean nothing negative by calling them sheep. To me it is like the pretty, blue robin's egg. Inside it is soft and gooey but someday it will grow into something wonderful. But the egg cannot survive without its hard blue shell. Police officers, soldiers, and other warriors are like that shell, and someday the civilization they protect will grow into something wonderful.? For now, though, they need warriors to protect them from the predators.
"Then there are the wolves," the old war veteran said, "and the wolves feed on the sheep without mercy." Do you believe there are wolves out there who will feed on the flock without mercy? You better believe it. There are evil men in this world and they are capable of evil deeds. The moment you forget that or pretend it is not so, you become a sheep. There is no safety in denial.
"Then there are sheepdogs," he went on, "and I'm a sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf."
If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen, a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath, a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? What do you have then? A sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero's path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed

http://hobbes.ncsa.uiuc.edu/onsheepwolvesandsheepdogs.html

Reality TV- 'Degradation Island'

Visit this site for today's episode of "Degradation Island" where 'eye candy' debase themselves for fame, cash and prizes!


Episode one
All clothing was removed overnight and replaced with sackcloth. A 'fountain' has appeared in the kitchen area. This life-size replica of Benito Mussolini will dispense a reasonable chardonnay when it's genitalia are manipulated correctly.

100 cubic metres of well-matured rubbish from the local tip has arrived in the yard and must be hand-sorted and bagged for recycling, before the showers will be turned on. Hidden in this pile are cans of food, with the labels removed.

The toilet paper has disappeared and has been replaced with newspaper...
tomorrow we bring you "groveling for Dollars"!


Episode two
Today our contestants have the opportunity to make money by groveling in mud!
The game: Plastic bones must be taken from a dog's bowl on one one side of the mud wallow, to a dog's kennel on the other side of the wallow. Each bone retrieved gains $200 bucks to the contestants account!
Now the conditions: 1-Bone must be carried in the mouth. 2- the torso must remain in contact with the mud. 3- the legs are tied at the ankles. Game lasts four hours- will their greed go the distance?

Otherwise, to enhance voyeuristic interest in sordid public displays of affection, oil of ylang-ylang has been added to the air conditioning- ginseng and royal jelly supplements have been provided, along with video's of "The Story of O". Ravel's "Bolero" is played subliminally...

tomorrow:
Alternative protein sources save money.


Episode Three

Eating Invertebrates for cash!

The stakes are high- $1 per gram!
A choice smorgasboard of honeyed locusts, chocolate cicada, stir-fried worms, Huhu grubs au natural, candied starfish, braised limpits, sea cucumbers and all the other delights our chef Mr Arigato Banzi Deathstar can concoct...

In keeping with this theme, our 'Boss of the week" will dine on Lobster, Bluff Oysters and Whitebait, washed down with a Cloudy Bay Sav. Blanc.
Those wishing to to forgo this delightful repast may grovel before the webcams. Highest polling victim, errr, contestant gets a Happy Meal.


Several contestants have been talking about those IN BREACH OF THE RULES .

Here on degradation Island, when ONE screws up, we punish EVERYONE!
Overalls with a target between the shoulderblades have been issued. Also, everyone gets a paintball gun with 50 rounds! I guess you can figure out that the one who gets the most points(scored on the target) gets Das Boot!

You are exempt being shot at when you are naked...


(Note:- I forfeit any claim to the above, as my intellectual property, in exchange for a really big plasma screen TV, a new wireless Sony DVD home theater system and a bottle of Jack Daniels)

Why don't kids swim?

Once upon a time, when parents knew what was best for their children, there was a push to get pools in schools, so kids could learn how to swim. They had swimming lessons at school and access tot he pool over summer for a very modest cost.

This worked fine for several generations.

Then along came the compliance-obscessed snivel servants, who decided that pools were cess-pools of bacteria and had to be constantly tested and monitored.

Never mind that the health problems caused by pool water were less than drinking the stuff from the tap!

Now kids are sheltered from bertie germ- the school pools are all closing, due to compliance costs, but that's OK- our kids won't get sick from pool water.

They just drown instead...

And the grey-shoe wearers attention turns to sweet, fatty and salty food in schools...

More Retail Hell

A while back, I wrote on the subject of fugly people and discount stores- red ones and otherwise. Nothing has changed, except they descend to a lower plane of hell, come that affliction, SCHOOL HOLIDAY TIME.

My main object in shopping is to get out, in the least amount of time, with everything I need (except my Wa)

As usual, two of the isles were totally blocked by pods of she-mountains, the next isle had a pallet of soft drink parked right in the middle and in the others, a gaggle of the permanently baffled tried to decipher those lists of contents found on the sides of cans. Why they bother is a mystery, as the stuff is all inedible for human consumption. Ah- yes, now I see why it appeals to them!

Grabbing my packet of firelighters (try cutting kindling with one working hand) I made a dash for the checkout, trying to shut out the sound of the dead-eyed bovines lowing to their missing offspring- the ones orbiting the chupa-chups stand.

To find one organic robot passing stuff over the scanner in slow-motion and a queue of old farts out shopping for recreation. All wearing wet wool.

It was horrible!

Old technology- fun as a hobby, not to live with!

Finally, after several months of playing around, I got my muzzle-loading rifle to fire every time, first time and put a ball about where I want it to go!

You gain a whole new respect for those who had to use these to put food on the table and fend off hostiles. They kept them going without a toolbox full of modern lubricants and rust inhibitors (like I have!)

They probably didn't have the luxury to spend days at the range, learning how to use one, either- or the money to waste on powder, shot and caps.

Now it's time to get out and see what a .50" lead ball does to these damn rabbits that are digging the paddocks up!