Desperate times

Down to the 1988 elderberry wine.

It's Toilet Duck next...

The Stranglers

Out of bandwidth and reduced to dial-up speed, which makes the modern interweb practically unusable.

Up yours Xtra, for reneging on the 'unlimited downloading' deal I signed up to some years ago!

Wrong approach

"Opposition politicians were today urging the producers of The Hobbit to start talks with an actors' union to ensure the movie gets made in New Zealand.

The movie's executive producer Sir Peter Jackson has threatened to move the shooting to eastern Europe after NZ Actors Equity said it wanted a collective contract for New Zealand actors appearing in the movie..."

My preferred response is "We have met with the union and now that they have been shot, the movie will go ahead."

No, it ISN'T Confusing

Changing the rules is what is confusing!

Changing the give way rules is going to be great for panel beaters and police management, who will be eying up lots of easy careless driving prosecutions.

For the rest of us, we will be plagued by the permanently baffled brigade:

• Giving way to everything.

• Not giving way by the new rule

Let the games commence...

Cost-benefit fail

Walk BACK to the hut I stayed at in the weekend to retrieve a $12.99 pair of kids shoes...

Hoist with his own petard

"A British businessman who last year bought the company that makes the two-wheeled Segway personal transporter has died in an accident on one of the vehicles.

Police in West Yorkshire said Monday that 62-year-old James Heselden and a Segway were found in the River Wharfe near Boston Spa, in northern England..."

Fresh fruit for rotting vegetables

"Removing GST from fresh fruit and vegetables is the first of Labour's election policies aimed at reducing the cost of living for low income families, leader Phil Goff says..."

Now where do I start on this one?

Nine years in power and your mob refused to touch this one. It's on the table now as you know you don't have a prayer of bumping off the other socialist mob.

Now I see there is a not-so-cunning plan to gouge the tax back elsewhere:

"...Labour estimated the loss of tax revenue at around $250 million which could be met by increasing tax on tobacco...."

Of course 'the poor' are so good at putting the need for fresh fruit for their offspring ahead of their desire for fags [insert Tui ad here]

All this overlooks the fact that:

• Fresh fruit and veg are dirt cheap in NZ - especially the basics like apples and cabbage.
• Vegetables are very easy to grow.
• Many of 'The poor' can't be arsed shopping around, don't eat fruit and veg outside of a pie and probably wouldn't eat them if they were free now.

Enduring pain for your kids

My tramping days were over three knee operations ago.

But I never listen to so-called 'experts' so I'm still (trying to) doing it.

This weekend's effort was an interesting one. For once, the wife came along (the planets lined up) as we got respite care AND the grandparents were willing to do standby duty (two seizures the day we were due to depart!)

The trip was good, the weather held- at least for the trip in and while the hut was totally overcrowded, we got there in time to claim bunks- and more importantly- the mattresses!

The folks that arrived later took the fact that they would be sleeping outdoors or on the floor in good grace- even the young lads who decided to walk out in the dark. that all goes with the territory- good onya!

There was one po-faced git who despite arriving early and securing a bunk- was in a state of mortification at the fact that the hut was taken over by unruly kids, teenagers and other people in general.

He spent the entire time whinging like a bus-load of pommie tourists about open doors (it was WARM) kids running about and all & sundry.

I think (the wife agreed) he had the child that weekend on one of those custody deals and resented the presence of others into their time.

Should have gone to the Orongorongos where they rent out the huts to private parties!

The other 30+ of us had a great time.

BTW- there ARE such things as well-behaved teenagers!

Those kids out qualifying for the Hillary Challenge were a great bunch and I hope they all do well. Great to see a group of well-mannered young people out living it up without setting off the noise control/111 finger!

Gone away

Back Sunday

Dark Forces in ACT

Trapped in a Chilean Mine

Hat tip: Theo Spark (who else!)

Its a DEAD possum, FFS

"The SPCA plans to talk to a rural Manawatu school after receiving complaints about a possum throwing contest.

Last week, the Manawatu Standard ran pictures of the children at Colyton School participating in the contest, in which pupils grabbed possum carcasses by the tail and lobbed them through the air to see how far they could toss them..."

It's a DEAD POSSUM. In NZ this creature has the same status as the common Rat.

And it's ALREADY DEAD.

it's an EX-POSSUM.

You can't be cruel to a DEAD critter.

The SPCA need to stick to going after people beating dogs and kicking kittens. Like it used to before the greenie faction took over...

The worms crawl in...

You have to wonder how low thieves will sink.

My kids school has a worm farm, which is fed with lunch scraps.

For those unacquainted with the workings of a worm farm, they produce a liquid waste which is collected in a tray underneath and is a very nutrient rich fertilizer.

Some thieving asshole is stealing the 'worm tea'- no doubt for their own garden.

I wonder what species of plant is being fed...

Choices

Same planet, different world

"Every child should have a dictionary as young people are suffering from a vocabulary deficit, literacy and child development specialist Professor Tom Nicholson says..."

My eight year old son asks "Doesn't every family have a dictionary?'

He thought I was having him on when I said that many families don't have any books. A house without books is inconceivable to him...

Interesting weather

You know it's been raining when hillsides start to move.

Quite disconcerting when you are driving along a back country track and out of the corner of your eye, you see a hill coming at you!

It missed- just.

The lightning was equally interesting. That was the worst I have been near, since a navigation exercise on the West Coast- about 1981. The sort when the lightning is hitting things all around you and the roof panel of my ute was reverberating with the thunder.

Spare a thought for the poor bloody linesmen out working in that!

Hypocrites, tall poppy hackers and sanctimonious assholes

I was going to write a longer piece on the David Garrett witch-hunt, but as others have done such a good job, I am saved the bother of pointing out the obvious lairbore shortcomings!

From the start I said that I considered Lindsay Mitchell a better candidate- mostly because welfare reform is the place to start with building a better NZ- and the place to break the funding cycle that enables so many of our criminal class.

But Garrett was selected and has been doing a good job. He has been making steady progress in making this a safer and better place to live- a thankless task, IF you followed the criminal-kissing liberal media and their masters (who, after all, provide the media with easy material and the liberals with voters) They have done nothing but oppose him and others like Sensible Sentencing who call for reform.

Reform- the task of keeping the good people of NZ safe from the criminal classes which was mandated by referendum. Remember that?- when 92% of NZ said- 'get tough on recidivist crims.

IMNSHO, in this he has found redemption for long past transgressions.

He has been found guilty of not being snow-white. Who in politics or the legal profession is?- and I don't mean who is simply without conviction in a court of law.

ACT has been found guilty of underestimating the staggering hypocrisy of the unwashed masses when egged on by the media. They should have seen that a law and order spokesman had to be a candidate for sainthood. They should have seen that their fair-weather supporters would turn on them in an instant. They should have realized that the standards applied to others would not be applied to them in socialist New Zealand.

Weather forecasting fail

I would quite like a job where you are allowed to consistently fail to get it right.

While a storm was forecast, all we have been warned of is strong winds and SHOWERS.

So we got some of the heaviest rain in years and a friggin' great electrical storm.

Which is not good when your work depends on second-guessing the weather.

For this crap forecasting, we pay millions in taxs.

I may as well rely on MkI eyeball and my dickey knee...

Village of the Damned

...is not just a movie about a bunch of creepy cuckoos!

It's a name that fits my experiences of life in Christchurch.

As the old line goes-'it was the best of times and the worst of times'

On the plus side- it is a nice city and has almost everything one would want in a small area. A fantastic central park area, a huge variety of great dining and bars. I got by for years without the need for a car as everything was so close, as I lived on the edge of the four avenues. I had some great times with some damned fine folks, but it seemed to be a town of extremes.

Life is the suburbs was not so great and all the flats I had there were nasty, cold uninsulated and damp. The weather is raved about, mostly by the locals who are indeed raving.

The winter is cold and damp, with freezing fogs, frosts, smog and howling southerlies.

The summer is hot, with the howling north-west wind that sucks the life out of you and drives everyone mad (madder would be more accurate) with it's extremely low humidity.

The denizens have the gall to go on abut 'Windy Wellington', which actually has a far more even climate!

But it's the parochial peasants that earned the city it's sobriquet.

Tight-fisted employers

Two-faced backstabbing snakes

Brain-dead shit-kicking wannabees

Pretentious assholes

Provincial putzes

Lying, evil bitches

and the freeloading, mooching lowlives that thrive in this town.

I know they are everywhere, but DAMN!- I met and had to work with a LOT of them down there!

David Garrett

Should have stuck with Lindsay!

Told you...

So beautiful, so dangerous...

Handmade .50BMG rifle- got US $20k?

Hat Tip: The Firearms Blog

Heritage in the Village of the Damned- so fake it

Rip down the brick crap and forget about wasting money (ours) restoring it. If you want a brick lookalike- fake it with modern materials.

Nine days

...and six nights to go.

Then its two weeks off!

Wandering through life with brains at half-mast

"...New community preparedness survey results, to be presented to Greater Wellington regional council's regional sustainability committee tomorrow, show only 39 per cent of people have a household plan for what to do in an emergency, and where they would meet if it struck while people were at work or away from home....

...More than 70 per cent of householders say they have emergency food, water and other supplies and equipment intended for use in a major emergency.

These figures are similar to the 2007 results. But the average number of supplies has risen to 9.2 items from 8.9 in 2007."

Don't come around here looking for help.

There has been more than enough warning that something like what hit the Village of the Damned would happen.

My supplies are considerably more than the 9.2 items in the above clip.

Especially those supplies pertaining to keeping moochers and looters out...

Don't give in to temper-tantrums

"...Jail guards have been threatened they'll be "bashed" or "stabbed" by prisoners over cigarettes, correspondence released to Sunday News under the Official Information Act reveals..."

News flash- threats in a prison are as common as 'good mornings' outside.

The smoking ban is just another excuse to behave badly and if the crims want to riot, they should be dealt with as rioters should- water cannon, tear gas, short rations and an increase in their sentence- plus no chance of parole.

A bit of buckshot would not be amiss, also!

Bludging, stinking leeches

"Christchurch Mayor Bob Parker says he feels "repulsed" by members of a family evicted from a welfare centre.

The people were members of a family group of about 30 at the Addington welfare centre, some of whom were behaving unacceptably.

The group took advantage of the centre, intimidated others, created a nuisance and then refused to leave, Superintendent Dave Cliff said.

Checks found they had not told the truth about the damage they had suffered..."

Name and shame the scum!

Not that lowlife who would try this on would have any sense of shame.

UPDATE:

"A Christchurch family evicted from an earthquake welfare centre say they more traumatised at being unfairly singled out as bludgers than by the earthquake that sent them fleeing their homes.

The 30-strong Martin family from Shirley, who have links to the Mongrel Mob gang, were called "repulsive" by Mayor Bob Parker after they were trespassed from the Addington Welfare centre..."

Enough said...

Jihad anyone?

Burn in hell

Our book, our book, our book is on fire...

We don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn- burn motherfucker, burn...

Two out of three of life's pleasures covered

All that is missing is a very large drink!

For bonus points, the pic got right up the nose of PETA (people Eating Tasty Animals)

Hang the scum

"...When Jacki Morris arrived at Ferndale School this morning to inspect the site's serious earthquake damage, what she found was far more distressing than the 15cm gash in the lawn.

The Merivale school for special needs children was burgled on Wednesday night. Windows were jimmied open, sheds and filing cabinets ransacked, and thousands of dollars worth of digital equipment taken..."

Anyone that low needs to be hung high. Preferable left in a iron cage to starve and rot.

I mean, a person (and I use that term very loosely) who is capable of such a callous act is capable of anything and needs removing from the face of the earth.

Like a mad dog, they are too dangerous to let live.

Fuck you, ya Jaffa fag

"North Shore Mayor Andrew Williams' late-night text tirades have reached Christchurch, with complaints about the city's nightlife and "Third World" service.

Prime Minister John Key said yesterday that he had deleted "obnoxious and aggressive" text messages sent to him by Williams, some as late as 3.30am.

Key said he had not bothered to keep any of the messages.

Williams has denied the messages were aggressive, and said politicians had to have thick skins.

On July 27, Williams sent a cellphone email to Christchurch Mayor Bob Parker just after midnight after dining with friends in the city. In the email, Williams said he and his party were "most disappointed with Christchurch tonight".,,"

Taking the piss out of the Village of the Damed is the domain of us that have actually had to live there! The mostly excellent Christchurch restaurant scene is the one reason for this carbuncle of a town existing*.

*(apart for their extremely skilled courtesans)

No, the pits of hell have not opened-yet.

"A strong smell of sulphur spreading across Christchurch's eastern suburbs is unlikely to be gas and there was no cause for concern, Civil Defence says..."

I can answer this one.

I worked doing drain laying in the Village of the Damned some years ago.

The gas lines from the old coal gas plant leaked and the smell of this gas permeated the soil throughout the city. When you dig, you release the smell.

I'm picking that the subterranean disturbances have released this rater foul but harmless odor.

"A Northland couple and some police officers are being investigated after the couple allegedly forced two men they believed tagged their fence to dance in front of a camera.

A video was made after the couple's house was tagged last Thursday in Otaika, south of Whangarei, police said..."

I would prefer to 'make them dance' in a more piratical sort of way.

From a yard-arm, although a tree or lamp-post would suffice in these modern times.

And then they had a REAL disaster

Essential supplies run out- city in crisis.

Apathetic bloody species!

It's New Zealand.

We have earthquakes on a regular basis-every supposed adult has know a sizable one somewhere in NZ during their lifetime.

And still people have no radio, torch or even the most basic supplies for an emergency.

They deserve whatever shit happens to them!

Extremely nasty scene- you have been warned!

Colonizing a country near YOU!

Hat Tip: Barking Spider

Yes, well...

At a school working bee yesterday.

All the others there were mostly the sorts who work 6 (or more) day weeks- some had come along between milkings to do a couple of hours, some had brought their own machinery- trucks, diggers, chainsaws, mowers.

All had given up a fine Saturday afternoon to do the annual school yard cleanup, and it was a good turnout.

I DID notice that none of the non-working families were represented there. Not one of them could give up a few hours to splash a bit of paint about or rake up leaves.

I guess Saturday afternoons are too precious to them who only have seven days a week off...

Incoming!

That should be here at midnight tonight.

Bad news when your roof is busted...

A thousand reasons to stay in

And not go pillaging in the CBD of the Village of the Damned tonight.

Village of the Damned get whacked

7.4 quake hit Christchurch at 0435

I like to give that town shit, but I do have a few friends down there. Good news is no reported casualties so far.

Damage looks really bad- a lot of the old brick buildings have come down.

You can't get good help...

"The Arms Act should be reviewed because only honest people obey it, the coroner investigating the death of Napier constable Len Snee says..."

Let me explain this using small words, as I know Coroners can be a bit retarded.

This is what happens with ALL laws.

Only the law-abiding comply with them.

If you CHANGE the law, those same folk that broke them before will continue to do so- just as those who obeyed them will continue to obey them.

So just have a big cup of STFU.

Pointed sticks are special

"A man has been jailed for four years ten months for striking a woman with a taiaha, a long-handled club, he was carving - a blow that caused a 13cm-deep gash...

...Judge Jane Farish ordered destruction of the weapon after checking with Te Rupe that it had no special significance for him or his family. He said he had been making it himself and had not yet finished the carving but did not want it kept..."

(Bold mine)

What the bloody hell is with considering his feelings, regarding the weapon?

Would I get the same consideration if I used by home-made Bowie knife or my antique Webley? (Yes- it is the one on the book cover, on the sidebar)

I somehow doubt it!

Where the hell do they find these judges?

Oh- thats right- out of the pool of lawyers who couldn't make it in the corporate world...

Dietary Discipline

Nutraloaf

The Workhouse had gruel

The Army had K-rations

Now- Corrections have Nutraloaf- the complete food that is as much fun to eat as a wool blanket- or possibly a Happy Meal.

I think this is a wonderful idea and should be extended to all those on a benefit- a measured weekly ration of nutraloaf- in lieu of money of course!