Sunday, September 24, 2006

Fate strikes again...

After declaring that I never darken the doors of Pac & Slave here, what has to happen.

I get dragged there several days later. The ball & chain has heard about some damned 'scan as you go' system. So on one of the two day a fortnight I get off, I have to visit retail hell.

It's not that I intensely dislike the actual store. I just hate shopping, unless firearms & accessories or power tools are involved. Even then, I do most of the looking on the internet first.

But there is one thing worse than wasting time in shops.

People who actually seem to like wasting their time in shops. Hordes of the swine, blocking the isles and prolonging my pain. Uneducated oiks who can't do a simple cost per gram calculation in their heads and go into a sort of trance staring at two practically identical products.

My decision algorithm goes: do I care about the brand?

If I do, buy it. (there are no substitutes for HP sauce, for example)
If I don't- is it a brand I have found to be crap?- if it is- keep looking.
Otherwise- buy the cheapest.

This doesn't require a great deal of time. perhaps it could be refined and printed on the frigin' trollies, SO THE FRICKIN' SHE-MOUNTAIN IN FRONT WONT BLOCK THE ISLE FOR FIVE MINUTES EACH TIEM A DESCISION IS REQUIRED.

What is really annoying is that I just know that having just made a life-altering decision over ETA vs Pams peanut butter, they will buy the one they have always brought, in any case.

A cattle prod only costs about $200...


Brian Smaller said...

The trick here is to go shopping at 08:00 on a Saturday morning. The aisles are empty and the deli food is fresh. Also, all the lazy fat arses are not out of bed yet.

Anonymous said...

Every housewife needs to do a course on how marketeers wish to trick you into parting with more money than you need to. A few blockes who haunt the likes of hardware palaces need to as well.

Rule 1. If it is at eyelevel or on the end of an aisle be wary. They want you to look at it so ask your self why.

Brian Smaller said...

We shop off a list. When my wife goes shopping alone she immediately reverts to grab what takes her fancy. Is sticking to a list a bloke thing?

Anonymous said...

I agree with Brian. I go to the market and supermarket(s) on a Saturday morning with the aim of being home by 9. I work off a list that is printed off the computer in the order of the main shop I use, this saves looking up and down the list. The family know if they don't ask by Friday night then it is too late.

Oswald Bastable said...

organisation and planning!

it's not so hard, is it?

Anonymous said...

After spending the last three years of high school working in a Pak and Save, I know just how you feel... It also seems to be the fatter the person, the longer they take to comprehend what each product is. Thus spending a good 20 minutes looking at a packet of rice, comparing it with their list and then realising that its noodles that they want. Its worse when they get to the checkout, especially when you are the person working the checkout.