Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Fourth Circle of Hell- liars, cowards, fornicators and the French...

Another fine post swiped from one of my MSN groups!

After Sponsoring a Ceasefire in Lebanon France Has Volunteered ... 200 troops! Here are some valid comments on that Brave Nation

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."--Mark Twain------------------------------

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."--General George S. Patton------------------------------

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." --General Norman Schwartzkopf------------------------------

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."--Marge Simpson------------------------------

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."--Jacques Chirac, President of France"As far as France is concerned, you're right."--Rush Limbaugh------------------------------

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."--Regis Philbin------------------------------

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." --John McCain , U.S. Senator from Arizona------------------------------

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."--David Letterman ------------------------------

"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada."--Ted Nugent------------------------------

"War without France would be like ... World War II." --Unknown------------------------------

"The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says 'First Iraq, then France.'"--Tom Brokaw------------------------------

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"--Dennis Miller------------------------------

"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."--Alan Kent-----------------------------

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." --Argus Hamilton------------------------------

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day --the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'" --Rep. Roy Blunt, MO-----------------------------

"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq "--Dennis Miller------------------------------ Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?-----------------------------

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."--Rep. R. Blount, MO------------------------------

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining." --John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv------------------------------

The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.------------------------------

French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney(AP), Paris, August 23, 2006The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

23 comments:

Murray said...

The French must be SO pleased they helped the American colonies get their own country.

That gratitude has been never ending... never actually having begun.

KG said...

so you're not a big fan of the French then?

Mark said...

OUCH!

Murray, we are grateful.

But what the hell happened after that?

Alors, nous avons vous aide cette fois, nous sommes fini pour l'eterneite.

Brian Smaller said...

My fav is "Why ar ethere so many tree lined roads in France? So the german Army can march in the shade"

Murray said...

Just a thought Mark but the world might have needed a shit lot less saving if the rest of us hadn't spent four and half years fighting in two world wars while America sat on its hands.

You want to know what happened after that? Well lets see, a lot of
Frenchmen got to leave their country occupied by nazis and continued to fight - America was sitting it out while they flying with the RAF. Still sitting it out while the Free French were slogging out with the 2nd NZEF against Rommel in North Africa. They were fighting without uniforms and getting shot for it at home as well. America - sitting it out.

America comes to the resuce oh yay. Why? Becuae it was the right thing to do? Because it was needed? No because it was forced into war by the Japanese.

Then you just had one cluster after another because you asumed that all those British and Commonwealth troops who had three years of fighting under their belts didn't have anything you could learn. smooth move. You pulled the same stunt in Viet Nam where you had kiwi and Aussie vets of Malaya who had just WON that sort of war and you ignored them. Slick work. BTW you're wlecome and every man we sent was a volunteer.

BTW thanks for the masacre your generals gave us at Cassino, my uncle made it but not so many of his mates. Thank god you didn't get throw us away at Keserine and Anzio as well.

Thanks also for Clark (well theres a name to make a kiwi shiver) trying to pin the bombing of the monestry on Freyberg. Back stabbing hack who couldn't follw orders with a gun held to his head.

No a lot better than the Brits in terms of leadership as far as we're concerned.

You still seem to think you ocupy a god given moral high ground in the world though. Very odd.

What four year old came up with "freedom fries"?

So you see Mark if someone really wanted to give the US the same treatment it seems to think is so clever to dole out to France it wouldn't be all that hard.

A little balance never hurt anyone. Chirac doesn't represent a lot of French in the same way that Helen clark (uggh theres that name again) doesn't represent me.

France was old when you were new, they arrived from the most violent times in world history, they didn't come out this side of that time by being the total soft cocks you people like to paint them as.

If a world of poetry the Statue of Liberty would get off her island and go home... to France.

Mark said...

You done, Murray? You must be bored. And I sure hit a fucking nerve, didn't I? BTW, thanks for sitting on the beaches at Normandy drinking tea while we got our asses shot off a couple beachheads down. I could go on, like you, but, unlike you, I have better things to do.

KG said...

Murray, give the war-history America bashing thing a rest, eh?

ALL countries had both incompetent and competent generals. All countries had both cowards and heroes.
To listen to you sometimes, only Kiwis were blameless, perfectly led and invariably heroic.
Get fucking real.

Murray said...

Fuck off kg, whats really old is this bloody childish French bashing crap we get from Americans who a real short memory about their own screw ups.

It's ok for the US to do to the French but its off limits to toss right back at them? Get a big black dog up ya.

They've certainly put the boot into us for not jumping in with them in the WOT from the get go but forgot we were neck deep in it for years before they jumped in the rest of the world.

Mark bad news, there were no kiwi units in Normandy. And the clusterfuck at Omaha resulted from the Americans turning their noses up at the specialist vehicals that the Commonwealth units had and the gutless navy prick who launched the Sherman DD's from half way out in the channel.

Where did you pluck this drinking tea fantasy from because thats what the Brits were doing at Suvla while my regiment was taking 99% casualties taking thr top of the Sari Bair range. In Normandy they fought ashore and took their objectives as did their paras without the mess that the 101st and 82nd got into.

The New Zealand divisions were in Italy and island hopping about the Pacific at the Time. I'm not ture sure exactly how much help they were suposed to provide to operations in Normandy. What are you channeling Nacy Astor now?

Again you don't see anything outside what the US has done. Crack a book once in a while or better yet actually talk to someone who was there. There's plenty left, this was the most mobilised country in the anglo world. The US was the least.

KG said...

yaaaawn......you don't suppose the French do the same to the Americans?
It's allied troops who form the near-endless rows of graves at Normandy and other places in France, not French.
It's America (among others) who liberated France twice, not Frenchmen.
"They've certainly put the boot into us for not jumping in with them in the WOT from the get go .."
I don't recall them putting the boot into NZ when some muslims were found in the PM's electorate (Mt. Albert) with plans of the Lucas Heights nuclear reactor and street plans of Sydney in their possession--and the NZ police decided that there was no terrorist connection, nossir, nothing to see here..this just before the Sydney Olympics.
And they didn't put the boot in when Helen cosied up to the mullahs in Tehran.
Or Phil Goff held hands with Arafat.
Or hundreds of NZ fake passports were found in Thailand......
glasshouses. stones etc.

Brian Smaller said...

You have heard about what Julius Ceasar said "Veni, vedi, vici - I cam, I saw, I conquored" How about "Veni, Vidi, Vichy - I came, I saw, I Concurred"

LTB said...

Gotta go with Murray.
Love America.
Love the bulk of people there, friendly and polite.
Shame shes led by incompetents.

Where has she triumphed in recent times, for all her power and might?
She got fought to a standstill in Korea. Thrown out of Vietnam, sent packing from Somalia, practically abandoned the fight in Afghanistan, is getting a snotting in Iraq, has alienated half of South America, plus many other countries round the world.

Pretty poor record actually.................

Anonymous said...

So the US gets blamed for not fighting and for fighting in the same comments thread.

You can't get around the fact that the US was required to bring a successful outcome to both WWI and WWII.

Murray said...

I see my practical demonstration is demonisation was very effective. Certainly got you lot snapping like sharks.

Don't go with me ltb.

We were right to fight in Viet Nam and the result was communists getting the message the US and some countries in west have the WILL to fight even if they don't win. They did not expect this. It also lead to the US army undergoing a transformation from being a sldgehammer of a oversized conscript army to being a highly professional citizen army.

Number of US conscripts in Iraq - ZERO. Even Casy Sheehan was a volunteer.

There are also very few armies that take as much care to avoid non-combatant casulaties. Including to point of taking hits themselves becuase they haven't engaged when they should have.

Somalia - remind me who was president there.

Afgahanistan has not been "abandoned". What are you just making this up as you go along?

The rebuilding of Iraq is progressing one hell of a lot faster and better than the reconstruction of Germany. Not to mention that according to "experts" like Fisk (god it's so hard to even say his name without craking up) the US is not even going to be able to win the offensive and will never reach Bhagdad.

The only thing you've presented here is common run of the mill anti-Americanism which is spoon fed to the New Zealand population by it's socalist government becuae so much of it's policies require an irrational fear/hate of the US.

How many people thing that of our anti nuke policies as keeping the Royal Navy out of our harbors? No one, they all focus on american ships, not nuke ships, just American ones.

The US has shown the will to back up diplomacy where the UN has failed. Repeatedly. This means now when the US says you will adhere to a UN resolution that there WILL be consequences. not just some big game of marco-polo with Hans Blik and his seeing eye dog while UN fat cats scim the cream.

If having a president who is good to his word makes you afraid then be asured we are not on the same side.

Anonymous - The US was not needed in WWI. None of the rest of us should have been there either. Same with the Boer War.

As for WWII you were needed in 1939, not when forced into action at the end of 1941. If you make a detailed study of the times you'll find that the anti war movement in the US was even stronger then than it is now. The nazis were certainly popular with a lot of people. Particularly Hollywood types.

Well there's some history repeating isn't there.

The very harsh reality is that the Soiets won the war in Eurpoe while the rest of us annoyed the axis forces.

Mark, there are entire cemetaries of Commonwealth soldiers in Normandy. Also in Greece, Crete and Africa. Not so many American cemetaries in those places. Also thoughout the Pacific there are Commonwealth only cemetaries. Although many - like Kranji in Singapore - consist mainly of names on walls becuase the japanese didn't care about dead enemy. I'm sure the Chinese would have been thrilled if the rest of us had jumped in when they needed it. Say about 1926 for example.

If you want to go for statistics New Zealand has declined to provide combat troops to the US once. And that is under Helen Clark who has still managed to put more kiwis into combat than any other PM since WWII.

There's not a lot of sense in claiming you do it yourself then bitching that people are not queing up to join in when it suits you.

Anonymous said...

I'll leave you with the floor Murray.
Really, I just havn't sufficient interest to type that much in rebuttal

Mark said...

Wow, you sure set off a MERDE storm with this post, Oswald!!!!

Brian Smaller said...

"How many people thing that of our anti nuke policies as keeping the Royal Navy out of our harbors? No one, they all focus on american ships, not nuke ships, just American ones. "

There was an Indian Navy Ship, the Guided Missile destroyer INS Mumbai, here in wellington a year or so back. India has nukes and I didn't see the peaceniks protesting that vessel's presence either.

Back to France in WWII. Nowdays, everyone in France seems to have a grandfather who was a Maquis and noone had a grandfather who was one of the over 200,000 Frenchmen who volunteered to fight in German army units such as 33. Waffen-Grenadier-Division der SS Charlemagne (französische Nr. 1).

Mark said...

Mais bien sur, Brian, and toutes de ces accusations de l'anti-Semitisme sont en erreur. Si tu ne me crois pas, il faut simplement demande a Emile Zola.

Uh oh, here comes Murray again!

Oswald Bastable said...

I once had a French girlfriend (a Morticia Addams clone)

Gal could suck a golfball through a garden hose!

We parted company amicably unlike most of her contemporaries.

SO they ain't all bad!(especially those involved in viticulture, cheesemaking and making Calvadoes!)

BTW, France got well & truely paid back in 1917!

Mark said...

Man, I always wanted to bang Morticia Addams! Lucky bastard!

Anonymous said...

To be fair.

The French held the line in Vietnam from 1946 to 1953. And did it on a shoestring as a financially bankrupt nation. Read Bernard Fall, Jules Roy and Martin Windrow. If you have any practical knowledge of soldiering and have heard shots fired in anger, these authors will bring tears to your eyes.

And no sooner was Vietnam now Eisenhower's problem then the French were up to their necks in the Algerian War. At all times the French forces did their very best - despite their yellow-bellied politicians and being stabbed in the back by the own country's marxist communists.

The French combat soldier who served in WW2, then Vietnam and then Algeria was not a pussy.

Lest we forget.

Mark said...

If I am not mistaken, the French were not fighting in Indochina.

How so?

The French Legion Etyrangere was the main figting force in Indochina, if memeory serves.

Oh, yeah, minor detail: French citizens are prohibited from serving inthe Legion Etrangere. It was begun as a means of deploying troopps to hotspots without endangering the lives of French soldiers.

Anonymous said...

French Army regular units most definitely served in Vietnam.

Conscript ones did not.

But they did in Algeria.

Air Force and Naval units likewise.

The Foreign Legion was a notable unit in that theatre, but small in size relative to the total numbers engaged.

Brian Smaller said...

"The French combat soldier who served in WW2, then Vietnam and then Algeria was not a pussy. "

No bad soldiers, just bad officers.