Saturday, July 14, 2007

Nobody knows who farted

...in Rotorua.

Certainly not anywhere I was- it never got quiet enough to hear the offender. But I came to appreciate the sulphur. It overpowers the noxious smell children make! (Mostly!)

Holiday and children should never be used in the same sentence. Not once did I get to do anything exciting in a hot pool, nor did I get through the amount of liquid refreshment that one should- were one REALLY holidaying!

Mornings would start at 0500, as the child storage facility was insecure and hotel management take a dim view on DIY locksmithing. There was no cartoon network either, but that only appealed to one of the children, in any case.

Any outings would usually appeal to one but not the other child. This would end in howling, followed by more howling, as I discreetly ignored the Child Thrashing Act 2007 and covertly applied torsion to an earlobe.

The one activity that everyone enjoyed was swimming/soaking, so a daily pilgrimage to a hot pool was made.

All the Rotorua ones fell short, being overpriced, overchlorinated or overcrowded- but I found a delightful pool at Waikite (Link) (37km away) that was untreated mineral water, had a passable urine/water ratio, served beer and was $25 per family.

The DUCK tour was also a crowd-pleaser at $116 for the family. The appeal of touring around in a WII amphibious vehicle was too much for me to resist and a soft-top truck with a big diesel engine drowns out the demands of children most effectively!

For vittles, I had heard the tongue of good report spoken in favour of The Pig and Whistle. They were right!

For serious carnivores- the Barbe ques Ribs ($17.50) came as they should- as many as can be heaped on a plate and without carbohydrate or foliage clutter. Stella on tap is another drawcard I find hard to resist.

The kids meals were about the size of average adult pub meals- take a hint and just buy them the pigtail chips.

Bugger the flax pinnies and stick-waving- an attraction that also found favour with me, and to a lesser degree the kids ,was the Caterpillar Experience ($40). I would have spend all day in that shed and will have to go back without the ball & chain. Who could be possibly bored in a shed full of bulldozers? (Apart from those with a testosterone deficiency)

At first I thought the town to be expensive, but I had been comparing wildlife parks and pools with those run by councils and funded by the poor bloody ratepayers. What would the TRUE cost of going to Wellington Zoo or Te Papa be, if one paid the true cost?

And would anyone bother to go to the second!

Then I went into Retail Hell (Pak & Save) and found that the beer was cheaper there than here!

(To be continued...)

6 comments:

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

One can put up with the most extremely unpleasant vicissitudes (sp) of life, just so long as the beer is cheaper here than it is there.

sweetpea said...

Rotorua is expensive - unless you happen to know a local with a discount card. Not that I did anything exciting this time we were down for the day. The weather was crap so all we aquired was an out of shape tyre courteousy of a pot hole in the Mamakus.

Whaleoil said...

You don't need a discount card, simply say you are a local, quote a convenient address and name and tell them to look it up in the phone book. Get all indignant, when they query you...works a treat.

Oh and the best mud-pools on a cost to interest ratio is Kuirau Park. a) It free, b)it free, c) the mud and water steams and bubbles quite satisfactorily.

Pommiekiw said...

I quite enjoyed a mud bath at Hells gate a couple of years ago.
Either way, Rotorua always seems at its best in the winter, what with the crisp air and all that.
Taupo is a favorite too.

DarrenG

Lindsay said...

You are going to tell us about the Luge aren't you.....

Oswald Bastable said...

I saw it, didn't bother trying it as it was raining that day.