Friday Funnies

The good stuff here. Not for the sensitive.

A writing project- yes- a writing project...

A have been kicking around a project involving resistance to an unpopular totalitarian government.

This is not about the rock- throwing, car burning rioting or armed resistance, but about the more subtle methods used by those unable or unwilling to take up arms.

Even in the vilest regimes, there have been those who found a way to fight back- the slave workers of WWII, who managed to leave a bit of cotton waste in a fuel system, or grit in a gearbox.

In my story, we have a less overt  form of fascism (slightly). People find ways of making the government's apparatus job more difficult- misinformation, over-reporting of 'suspicious activity', casting aspersions towards minor officials. Neighbors who start having parties and making noise to disturb the sleep of a local official. The farmers who leave supplies out, where the armed revolutionaries can readily find them. Contractors who are always a day late delivering or repairing goods and services to the government- and never do as good a job as they could.

Then there are those within the system who would fight back. The policeman who turns a blind eye. The storeman who makes supplies 'vanish'. The soldiers that break irreplaceable equipment.

Any ideas of subtle or passive resistance would be appreciated!

Who knows?- we may need to try them out one day...

Village of the Damned- Village of little thinking

Unfortunately, the Christchuch CDB is FUBAR. Even more unfortunate is the council/government meddling. They do not understand that the city WILL AND CAN NOT be build in the form it is in now.

The one thing that might salvage the crock of shit, is that so many are taking the money and bailing. Acre for acre, the land in that area is going to be worth less than a bit of stony bare land out the back of Springfield. As it is, the land is worthless, as high-rise is looking to be uninsurable- and there goes the business sector.

So, I say let it return to park with cheap land for those that will take the risk of building there. Maybe the cheap land will attract what the run-down semi-derelict old rentals used to. The bars, cafes and restaurants that were all done on a shoestring budget.

They were the appeal of the CBD- retail was dying well before the shakeup, as the shops relocated to the outlying malls- as they have been doing worldwide.

Bars, food outlets, boutiques and brothels can all be build in quake-resistant steel and timber and don't need to be more than two stories high.

Likewise, low-rise apartments catering to those who like that sort of lifestyle.

Think outside of the concrete box!

UPDATE:

Looks like I'm not the only one thinking this.

And the colour of the sky on YOUR planet is?

"Parliament is an "old boys' club" and is often out of touch with the modern world, Green MP Sue Kedgely said in her valedictory speech this evening..."


That's rich!


Who could be more out of touch with heartland New Zealand, than a friggin' 'ban everything' greenie? 

Dealing with dope

Yep, make dope legal.

BUT- employers will test for it, as they do now. Just as turning up with alcohol in the system will get you the boot, so will dope.

ALSO- Given that beneficiaries are meant to be work- ready- they should be subject to random testing, too. Fail the test, no dole.

If you drive a vehicle on the road- expect to get tested, just like for alcohol.

Easy.

One law for us- another for those who would rule

It may seem a small thing- putting up party propaganda before the date it is permitted to do so.

It would be- but for the fact that the ones playing loose with the law are those that would make the laws that the rest of us mere mortals are required to comply with.

Is anybody surprised at such blatant hypocrisy?

Thought not...

Buggerizing around with time

Feckin' daylight 'saving'!
I hate it- as does every other person I know with: small children, older children, livestock, early starts, shiftwork- or is otherwise a slave to other peoples timetables.

The unemployed and the retired don't give a damn- so who actually wants it- and why?

It's not like we magically get more hours in the day.

I suspect it's those in the civil service- childless and on glide time who want to sip Chardonnay on the deck after a day of making life more difficult for the rest of us.

Or it's just someone being a bastard because it is possible to be so.

Bastinado would be too gentle a medicine...

Engage FTL drive

"A pillar of physics - that nothing can go faster than the speed of light - appears to be smashed by an oddball subatomic particle that has apparently made a giant end run around Albert Einstein's theories.

Scientists at the world's largest physics lab said today (NZ time) they have clocked neutrinos travelling faster than light. That's something that according to Einstein's 1905 special theory of relativity - the famous E (equals) mc2 equation - just doesn't happen..."

The rest of this story here.

In my opinion, this is the greatest discovery of the century (at least, so far!)

The thought police are busy banning- HERE

"There are more than a thousand books that you will never be allowed to read unless you leave New Zealand.

Many are of a sexual nature, deal with violence, horror and crime and might have only been fully read by one person in New Zealand - and that person decided they shouldn't be available to the rest of us.

A total of 1319 books are banned and a further 728 restricted in some way..."

So censorship is alive and well here, in the good old nanny state of NZ.

And as for that freedom of speech delusion...

Sucks to be you

I want my money back!

"...Prime Minister John Key today revealed legal advice that almost all use of covert video surveillance by police had been rendered unlawful by the Supreme Court ruling..."


Does this include speed cameras in unmarked vehicles?


The millions nabbed by these revenue generators would make for a fairly serious crime...

Thank You!

For the second time since I have had it- some generous chap has used my tip jar!

Much appreciated, thank you!

UPDATE:

I'm not sure what one of my blogsites it came from, though!

It's not bad news for everyone

Apparently our high UV is good for our wines! Unfortunately, I lost the link and can't be arsed looking for it.

"...Remember that scene in The Young Ones where Neil the hippy, fearful of nuclear bombs, paints himself white to deflect the blast? It's the same concept, with the whiteness of the oyster shells reflecting the sun's rays away from the soil and into the canopy to help ripen the fruit faster.

We may not reach the same high temperatures that other countries do, but one thing we do have plenty of is UV.

We're about 30 per cent higher in UV here than our corresponding latitudes in the Northern Hemisphere, so it's a significant factor.

Rod agrees. "When I host people from overseas I tell them to think about New Zealand wines being ripened by light rather than heat and suddenly a light goes on. That freshness, vitality and brightness in our wines suddenly all makes sense. People get that..."


UPDATE:
Found it!

Friday entertainment

Field stripping a new rifle and degreasing it.

Be careful what you wish for

For a couple of years, the local greenies have been moaning about the lack of kerbside recycling here. Apparently, the kilometer or so to the recycling depot is too inconvenient for those who would save the planet (from whatever it needs saving from).

So they got it.

In one of the windiest places in NZ.

Now, the same types are crying about all the rubbish flying about town...

Pakistani Daleks

To the meathead in the campervan this morning

The one headed north on SH2- halfway to Greytown at 0710 this morning. With the South African flag in the back window,

The white line down the center of the road is NOT where your drivers side wheels are mean to be.

Also, the speed limit is 100kph- not 75kph.

Me too

September 11th

And another story that has been hidden away.

September 10th

Enraged rugby fans caught in Auckland traffic

Or it may have been yet another bloody impromptu haka...

Guilty by association is a dangerous step

"People who stand by and let recidivist drink drivers get behind the wheel should be prosecuted, a coroner has recommended in a decision released today..."

Coroners just don't live in the real world.

How can you hold another person accountable for the crime committed by another? I'm inclined to believe this is a bid to gain yet more revenue for lawyers, as they will have a field day with this one.

Then there is the mixed messages we seem to be getting- on one had, We are responsible for crime and criminals- on the other hand- we get caned in the courts for taking action against them.

Are these people friggin' bipolar?

True Colours

So- university staff can say what they like, as freedom of speech is critical (yeah, right)

Remember this?

Dear xxxx:

I say this reluctantly but not so subtly: you are not suitable for a graduate degree. It does not matter if your father died or if you have a medical certificate.

I have been too nice and given you too high marks all along (at C+). I do not anticipate that you will do better in the final exercise. You are already a day late.

The extension is meaningless because you have not attended the last few classes and are the worse performer in the class...

Seems that freedom of speech is only for 'special' people...

No- don't shut her down

"...The head of the university's department of Maori studies, Mutu agreed with the findings and called on the Government to restrict the number of white migrants arriving from countries such as South Africa, England and the United States as they brought attitudes destructive to Maori..."

I think these types SHOULD be free to spout their vile bile. Be they extremist of ANY colour, they should be free to clearly state their position openly.

It's good to see their true colours and to know that these delusional loons are out there.

And we should feel free to reply in kind!

It was so much better before the evil white man

This line is mine

Right and left have come to state which side of the body the teats they prefer to suck are on!

Not much difference otherwise...

Like nose art?

If you have any idea what I'm talking about, take a look here!

On dealing with the Politically Correct

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party.
He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden
leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his
problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a
note:


Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted
handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden
leg you will be just right as a Pirate. The man is
offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he
writes a letter of complaint.. A week passes and he
receives another parcel and note:




Dear Sir,
Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a
monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and
with your bald head you will really look the part. The man
is really incandescent with rage now, because the company
has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing
attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong
letter of complaint.. A few days later he gets a very small
parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:




Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup.
We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald
head, let it harden, then stick your wooden leg up your arse
and go as a toffee apple.

I have a dream...

Speaking of coming down...

Soon to be appearing in a woodburner near me.

What goes UP, must come DOWN

Or don't shoot straight up in the air- if I'm around. Otherwise- carry on!

Hat Tip: The Firearms Blog

Cry havoc and change the rules- again

"The Government has confirmed New Zealand's give way rules for turning vehicles will be changed early next year.

Drivers will have to get used to giving left-turning traffic the right of way when the changes kick-in on March 25, 2012.

Currently, drivers turning left have to give way to vehicles turning right.

Transport Minister Steven Joyce said it was "not necessarily the case" that there would be a spike of accidents when the rules changed..."

Time to buy shares in a panel beating business. The transport minister is dreaming or retarded if he thinks there won't be a 'spike in accidents'

Hell, some have never come to turns with the rule change back in the '70's when they went to the hair-brained 'right-hand rule', in the first place...