Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Sod off ya bloody scroungers!

ALL year we try and teach our kids to stay away from strangers, especially those offering sweets.
Then once a year all that work is undone!


And then we have the issue of going begging- another thing I'm dead against, along with people coming onto my property uninvited. Bugger off the lot of you!

I blame the bloody Warehouse for encouraging this vileness!

Now I'm off to read to the children from 'Atlas Shrugged' ...

Sunday, October 29, 2006

And now for something completely different

I have heard it said by persons from other parts of the world that Kiwi's and Aussie's are very similar.

There are some differences, however.

For example:

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Yeah, Right...



"...Dumped One News presenter Judy Bailey says she was worth the $800,000 salary she negotiated with Television New Zealand..."


Damn glad to hear that! That means you won't have any problem getting similar money elsewhere!

Or going out on your own and making that kind of brass!

or is it harder when your employer doesn't have access to the public trough?...

Friday, October 27, 2006

The strange case of the Wabbit Wooter

A while back I posted on posted on this case

6.00am Friday October 27, 2006

"A New Zealand-born Sydney financier jailed for 16 months for mutilating and killing 17 rabbits and a guinea pig is appealing against his conviction, saying he was mentally ill..."


Mentally ill- no shit!

"I plead insanity- I'm crazy about them fuzzy little critters!"

Tie him onto the back of a cow!

From the 'No shit Sherlock!' files...

Smoking in cars a danger to children, say researchers

12.35pm Friday October 27, 2006

" The government should consider banning smoking in cars where children are present, as it could damage the youngsters' lungs, medical researchers say...

A Wellington School of Medicine report published today found being in a car with a smoker was equivalent to sitting in a typical smoky bar, even with the smoker's window wound fully down."


As a kid I have this inflicted on me and they are dead right, but bloody buggery bollocks!- do you need a medical degree to figure that one out?

Having stated the bloody obvious, that 'cigarette smoking in a car is bad, m'kay?'
(Not to say friggin' inconsiderate!)

The next step is the knee-jerk- 'The govmint must ban it!'

Come on- can't you highly educated types come up with a better solution- one that might work, for instance.

I think that the educatable have already figure this out- they are the ones that don't smoke in the house, let alone car. What used to be commonplace twenty, thirty years ago is now the domain of the shallow end of the gene pool. The same parent who did this to me would never dream of smoking in the presence of the grandchildren (and kicked the habit years ago)

Attitudes change with a bit of education. That's the right way to do things- quietly coax people. when you try to drag them into a brave new world, they dig in the heals and fight it all the way.

Some however, are not so receptive to change. These types aren't much bothered by bans, laws or society's dissaproval. They just don't give a shit.

They don't care if their kids breath smoke, or get fruit each day- they just have to be alive to receive taxpayer funds and in such health as to need minimal care. And I mean MINIMAL!

They don't bother with child seats, WOF or drivers licences either. A new fine?- just put it on the tab...

Thursday, October 26, 2006

The food Nazi's goosestep on...

Officials target workplace vending machines

Thursday October 26,
2006By Errol Kiong

"Workplace food-vending machines are the next target in the battle against obesity.
Health officials want to restrict their contents, and say they could use health and safety legislation as a way to improve what people eat..."


First it's schools, now they plan to cut off the supply of sugar and fats to adults!

Next step is in your homes, folks!

Now what goverment had children reporting on the parent's behaviour in the home?

When an opponent declares, "I will not come over to your side," I calmly say, "Your child belongs to us already... What are you? You will pass on. Your descendants, however, now stand in the new camp. In a short time they will know nothing else but this new community."

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Meanwhile, the Banana Republic lives up to it's name

Free fruit delivered to schools


TWO Masterton schools have received their first batch of free fruit that their students will be getting every day for the next three years.

This is bloody bollocks- if you can't afford a banana or apple for your kids on a regular basis, you should have your reproductive organs torn off/out with a boathook!

You certainly shouldn't be using them to breed more!

How about an admission that the money spent previously on the 'Five plus a day' has been a complete and utter waste of OUR money?

Fat chance!

What next? low fat school milk?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

More Govamint Bollocks

"...New Zealand households are spending more on sugary snacks than on fresh fruit, a new report says. The Food and Nutrition Monitoring Report shows the average household spent $6.50 on confectionary per week over the past year, compared with $5.90 on fresh fruit..."

More bollocks here.

$5.90- I bloody wish! My bill for bananas alone would be more than that. A typical fruit shop for a week would be a 3kg bag of apple (when my trees aren't in fruit), a bag of oranges, a kilos of Kiwifruit, the banannas mentioned before and others- usually seasonal stuff or odd things like pineapples.

Sweets would run to about $2 per week

Advertising has played no part in us deciding what to buy (apart from Whittakers Ghana Dark chocolate- but the coaco bean is a fruit, after all)

It probably won't affect the shopping of familys who never buy fruit either!

Another $67 million of the taxpayers money pissed against the wall...

Monday, October 23, 2006

A new sponsor?

Now that a certain hamburger chain had been dumped from giving money to the police (how bizzare!), I suspect a well- known chicken chain is lobbying for the job.

They are definetly targeting Labour- the pack that I brought was full of left wings and arseholes!

Labour Day

This statutory holiday was passed into law in 1899, and the other day I was asked:

"Why the hell are we STILL working 40 hour weeks?" (hell, I seldom work less than 50)

One might expect a far shorter working week with the advances in technology over the last century.

The (an) answer is that the suplus of production enables us to advance, as opposed to treading water.

Another is that many people actually LIKE to work. If they had a three day week, they would find work for at least a couple of their now free days. I mean, even in France, the state shorteningthe workingweek wasn't popular!

And we well know what the socialists would say- but in nine years have they done onything towards shortening working hours? Aside from creating a huge army of Mc Jobs, and freeing the least deserving from work totally, that is.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

The drinking age

I must say that I liked the proposal seen here to raise the age to 41!

But on a more serious note (as serious as you will find here, anyway) what hads changed in the last 30 years?

In my day, we also obtained alcohol, drunk it and carried on like Indians who had just discovered Firewater.

BUT we had to plan our drinking, as if we did it out in public there would be consequences- unpleasant ones.

We had to whoop it up out of sight and earshot of the public- and it's my opinion now that we had a lot more fun for doing so.

No clashes with other obnoxious groups and you could let your hair down relativly safely amongst friends.

It tended to be stag, thus eliminating a major cause of tension amonst horny young blokes. Girls tended to avoid such things, as they well knew that drunken sesions lead to pregnancy and this was still a big deal then!

The other was money. Poor apprentices had minimal cash and we wouldn't drink in pubs, as the off-licence was much cheaper (more booze for our bucks)

I was a bit aof a challenge arranging a good session. Not just a matter of turning up at a nightclub...

Saturday, October 21, 2006

A productive day

I do enjoy fixing or finding a use for stuff others discard as junk. Usually its small stuff- chainsaws, weed-eaters, lawnmowers.

Today's effort was a small 1 1/2 ton, truck damaged beyond economic repair. it had been dumped in a paddock, where it has sat for the last three years or so.

I got it for the cost of the tow, a battery and a second hand tyre- a total of $260. (plus about three hours work)

While it will never be roadworthy, it runs well and will make an great farm runabout- just what I need with firewood season about to start.

Friday, October 20, 2006

On holiday

Sort of.

I'm writing for (hopefully) money tonight.

Been doing a bit of that lately, finishing off trade qualifications, but now it's back to what I enjoy- Meddler in Time.

I said I would finish it by xmas, so I need to pull finger!- then I can get onto book three next year. Pre-production is going well- that's what I do when driving about the countryside all day! converations, scenarios, action scenes, future technology.

It's good to have a fantasy universe!- - beats the hell out of thinking(?) about what happened on Coro last night!

Speaking of writing stuff, this is post 505!

If people didn't read it, I wouldn't do it- maybe!

Thursday, October 19, 2006


We have truly arrived!

Welcome to da People's Banana Republic of Noo Zealnd.

Reminds me of a great line from a movie I can't remember- probably a Tom Clancy tarn.

"...Remember El Presidente, you are only president for life!..."

Time for change

I've been keeping my ear to the ground for a week or so now and are hearing a new level of unrest.

Corruption, corrupt and 'banana republic' are words and phrases thrown around a lot more.

I'm not talking about in the blogger world, nor at Libertarianz meetings.

This is amongst blue-collar ordinary working folks.

Some of you may have heard of them. They are the ones the supposedly used to be the backbone of Liarbour.

Not now.

Now is the time for change, but will the great unwashed manage to hold on to these thoughts until the next election? Liarbour is counting on them not.

Already the damage control is underway with talks about substantial tax cuts.

Yeah, right- this is Liarbour. They will then introduce more 'stealth taxes' to gouge twice as much back.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Ever wondered how...

you become a Justice of the Peace?

Here is how it happens.

I got asked how a person landed this number and had no idea, so I did a very little research- now I know!

What did we do before Google!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Tell Liarbour to sod off!

Petition against the 'Get Out Of Jail Free Act'

It won't work, of couse, but that shouldn't stop you trying!


When Wowsers Attack

Final warning: Behave or face fireworks ban

New Zealanders are being given one last chance to prove they can be responsible with fireworks.

If they fail the test, steps will be taken next year to restrict sales - a move that could eventually lead to a complete ban.

The Government says it is not prepared to accept another Guy Fawkes Day like last year's, which kept emergency service workers busy attending to hundreds of fires and injuries.


Here we go again!

Anyone actually think that they WON'T ban fireworks?

No- they HAVE to save us from ourselves!

Rather than punish a few stupid boys who will always find something to abuse, we all get yet another activity denied to law-abiding citizens.

Yet again, I point the finger at the ever-diminishing level of personal responsibility out there. People don't give a shit what the result of their dumb-ass actions are.

Because there are no real consequences for even criminal negligence.

And no shortage of control freaks ready to run our lives for us...

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Crystal Ball Gazing

Debt Pay Back Out Of MPs' Own Pockets?

Labour MPs will need to fork out around $6,000 from their own pockets, while ministers will pay proportionally more.

More: http://xtramsn.co.nz/news/0,,11981-6433726,00.html

Here is my prediction:

Next year the MP's pay rise will more than cover this amount.

Odds are at ten bucks to a knob of goatshit!

Paint a picture with words...

I don't have photoshop- Generation XY could do this but I can't, so:

The scene is a fairground, A&P show- that sort of place.

A prominant stall is the "Labour Party Fundraiser' There is a sign, as is often seen at schools, of a stylized thermometer with $800,000 at the top.

MPs are dressed as clowns and strapped to heavy chairs. Objects to throw at them are at the counter for sale.

A scale of prices reads:

Wet sponges $1
Tennis balls $10
Cricket balls $100
Petanque balls $1000
Viking throwing axe $10000

Thursday, October 12, 2006

How to raise money WITHOUT ransacking the consolidated fund...

Where do you find $800k, when you can't dip into the public trough and tax some mug?

One thing is sure- Liarbour won't bloody earn it! The culture of doing things with other people's money is too deeply ingrained.

How about hitting up all the union members for a few bucks?

Selling kidneys?

Auctioning Winston on TradeMe?

Tithing/taxing the party faithful? (like they want anything paid for with THEIR money!)

Pay it back like reparations- a dollar a day forever with no interest or penalties.

See what it's like when it's YOUR money you have to front up with, dirtbags!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Beta Blogger blows goats!

I fucked up.

I changed to the all-new bigger better beta blogger.

What a mistaka to maka!

Whoever designed this sucks the sweat of a dead man's balls!!!

Now I have to sign on three times when I want to do anything. Where did you hire your staff- Microsoft?


Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Mad cows

For the last week I have been playing 'dodge the cows' on the road to work.

This road isn't the unsealed road out the back of nowhere. It's the road the the local railway station and very well used.

Yet the local hicks let their stock wander on it with no control or warning signs as are required. Damned animals are worse than rabbits for suddenly dashing in front of your vehicle- but MUCH heavier!

It's to be expected, as a cow is not a clever animal- nor are many of those who work with them.

Today I found another king of mad cow. This one drove an Audi right up the middle of the road, refusing to move to the correct side.

Tommorow I'm just going to stop and let her go round!

Monday, October 09, 2006

Crystal Ball Gazing

What's North Korea's future going to hold?

I think two options that can ruled out are:

1- A nuclear strike

2- A ground attack

Sanctions don't seem to work and all the money spent bribing these nutbars has been wasted.

I'm picking an attack by stealth aircraft on nuclear facilities.

Seen any Buffaler?

Just the thing for buffalo or going right through a boy racer dorkmobile!

So many toys, so little money!

Saturday, October 07, 2006

From the 'Tough Shit' files...

Families Claim Prisoners Being Starved

"...The Corrections Department is defending itself against allegations it is starving prisoners. Prisoners' families are saying their relatives behind bars are not being looked after properly, and are overcharged for standard grocery items..."


The meals are nutritionally adequate and not particularly appealing, which is as it should be. You certainly won't starve on them, nor will you put on weight.

They are quite like hospital food, but without dessert.

They can buy through the canteen system, but most of course spend their allocation on smokes.

There are a hell of a lot of people in NZ, especially our old folks that don't get three balanced meals a day.

Sympathy- It's in the dictionary between 'Shit' and 'Syphylis'

Friday, October 06, 2006

Another cost-cutter!

'Diet' Cocktails Get You Drunker

Having your alcohol with a sugar-free artificially sweetened mixer may cut calories, but it will also make you drunker, a study suggests. The problem, Australian researchers found, is that drinks made with "diet" mixers pass through the stomach more rapidly and, therefore, make blood alcohol levels spike particularly high.


Of course you could just forgo the mixers and drink the spirits.

Unless you too drink Poteen, which really needs a bit of Zero coke to cut it back!

I wish they would bring the diet vanilla coke back...

Thursday, October 05, 2006

I got Hate Mail!

This arrived in the comments section:

Its not that you're macho, you just come across as a wanker, thats all - sort of inbred and boorish, perhaps due to the miserable location you live in.

You are a country hick, rather than a country gent, Oswald.

And dont whinge about this being anonymous, I just be ashamed to admit I read your drivel, thats all.

Fairly typically, it comes from an Anonymouse. I think someone has a bit of a love-hate thing going here!

Do you have a secret collection of Mills & Boon under the bed too?

You never know with an Anonymouse. They can't stand the thought of anyone knowing anything about them. Nor do they dare to publish their own thoughts- that's why they usually don't have there own blog. Someone might critisize them!

They are even too timid to take a 'stage name' and use the faceless communication here on the internet!

None of the simpering little girl-boys would ever dare spout their usual rantings to another face to face!

Amusing, really!

Anyone care to take a guess as to who it was?

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


Reparation payments.

I'm one of the 'lucky' few that actually get them.

Not that it's really thanks to luck. I just made a nusiance of myself with the Ministry of 'Justice' (in the nicest possible way, of course!)

Before sentencing the scrote who owes me, the judge asked me for some info. on costs. I supplied several spreadsheets of actual and estimated costs, along with explanations running to about two thousand words. (the court people were quite impressed!)

My conservative estimate (strictly based on financial facts, not suffering, blah, blah, blah) was damages of $50-60k

The judge (probably realisticly) said that dickwad would have to be reincarnated to pay that amount of money and awarded $10k.

That's been trickling in as the deadbeat drifts in and out of jobs. When he is on the dole, I get a check for fifty bucks every couple of months. Currently, the Warehouse needs shelves filled and I get fifty per week.

So you ask what am I on about?


Monday, October 02, 2006


Over on Sir Humphries, I made a quip to the effect that Dear Leader deserved the same level of protection that all the citizens of our land deserve.

While spoken light-heartedly at the time, I feel that this is a valid point.

Yes, the leaders of our country need an efficent diplomatic protection service.

The citizens should also have an efficent police force and armed forces resourced to defend OUR shores.

This to me, is the main point of having a government- to provide these core functions.

It looks like Dear Leader has the same run down level of ineptness tha tthe rest of us have to put up with. Failure to spot a PI tailing them?

Come on- at best the PI's have had the same training as they have.

Or are they not particularly interested in protecting Dear Leader?

Given the way she inspires loyalty within the police ranks, I could well belive that!

We DO need our top-level politicians well guarded, as we need our country
well policed.

We also need a few leaders worthy of the name.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

It's great to be Macho!

Over on Sir Humphries , a grotty little Herbert (no blog or link itself, of course) has taken exception to a few comments on chickens.

Murry and myself and have been accused of spouting 'Macho BS'

Well, I beg your miniscule pardon! What the fuck is wrong with being Macho, anyway!

I 'yams what I 'yams!

We get all the fun toys- we get to drive bigger cars & trucks, tanks, jet aircraft, huge earthmovers and loud motorbikes.

There is no anguish over what to eat- cut the hooves & horns off & char the outside- all other food is 'side orders'

We can drink beer & red wine with whatever food we like.

Getting dressed is never a drama.

We know what we enjoy and aren't afraid to say so.

We know what we don't like and aren't afraid to say so.

We call a shovel a fucking spade and 'bullshit has more than two letters.

We know that women do some things better and men do other things better. Knowing that, we and our women work as a team to do what Man and Women have always done. Raise healthy, happy kids.

Sometimes that doesn't work out and we move on. We get over it- life goes on.

We are accused of being 'insensitive'- in our words- we don't buy into other people's bullshit!

We don't need support groups, therapists or rounds of applause for doing our jobs. We just get on with it.

Contrary to opinion,the real Macho Man does not beat women, children or gimps. That sort of thing is beneath us- and just wrong.

We say what we think, not what we think the other person wants to hear. You don't like it- tough.

We keep the world going. The world won't grind to a halt without boutiques, lattes, lemon-scented towels, colour co-ordintors, wedding planner or hair stylists.
Without plumbers, farmers, linesman, police, mechanics, road workers and all those other 'blue collars' workers, it will get uncomfortable real quick!